This from May 1999, so many on TFL may have already seen it. It is still funny.
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"HOW TO WRITE YOUR SENATOR"
Even if you don't agree with this guy's political opinions you'll have to admit he really has an interesting style for writing a letter to his elected representative.
SUBJECT: .50 Caliber Rifles
DATE: 14 May 1999
TO: Rep. Henry Waxman
FROM: David Wayne Case
SUBJECT: .50 Caliber Rifles
I have become aware of your furtive attempt to infringe upon my ownership of my Barrett rifle. I am a former Captain USMC, state marksmanship champion, NRA member, member of the Fifty Caliber Shooter's Association and an avid hunter.
To my knowledge, no .50 caliber rifle has ever been used in the commission of a crime. My rifle cost $6,750. The telescope on the rifle cost $4,500. The ammunition I most often shoot costs @ $4.00 per round. While I tell you this, understand that what I'm trying to tell you is that I would be an idiot to spend $11,000 on a rifle to risk losing it in the legal aftermath of its illegal use.
Get the hell out of my personal life and go play kissy face with Diane Feinstein, Barney Frank, Charles Schumer and those other leftists. I am now an investment banker and make $400,000 per year. I also have a Harley Davidson motorcycle and several cars with V-8 engines. Are you next going to tell me I don't NEED a V-8 engine... don't NEED such a heavy, powerful motorcycle ... don't NEED a house with five bedrooms ... don't NEED a wife with such large breasts...don't NEED a dog with such sharp teeth and so on?
This kind of "Chicken Little" reactionary noise is entirely useless. I am going to notify every legislator in my food chain that they need to take you behind the Capital and beat the crap out of you.
CC: Sen. Trent Lott
Sen. Orrin Hatch
Sen. Susan Collins
Rep. Mark Sanford
Rep. Robert Barr
Sen. Strom Thurmond
Sen. Ernest Hollings
[This message has been edited by sensop (edited October 20, 2000).]
********************************
"HOW TO WRITE YOUR SENATOR"
Even if you don't agree with this guy's political opinions you'll have to admit he really has an interesting style for writing a letter to his elected representative.
SUBJECT: .50 Caliber Rifles
DATE: 14 May 1999
TO: Rep. Henry Waxman
FROM: David Wayne Case
SUBJECT: .50 Caliber Rifles
I have become aware of your furtive attempt to infringe upon my ownership of my Barrett rifle. I am a former Captain USMC, state marksmanship champion, NRA member, member of the Fifty Caliber Shooter's Association and an avid hunter.
To my knowledge, no .50 caliber rifle has ever been used in the commission of a crime. My rifle cost $6,750. The telescope on the rifle cost $4,500. The ammunition I most often shoot costs @ $4.00 per round. While I tell you this, understand that what I'm trying to tell you is that I would be an idiot to spend $11,000 on a rifle to risk losing it in the legal aftermath of its illegal use.
Get the hell out of my personal life and go play kissy face with Diane Feinstein, Barney Frank, Charles Schumer and those other leftists. I am now an investment banker and make $400,000 per year. I also have a Harley Davidson motorcycle and several cars with V-8 engines. Are you next going to tell me I don't NEED a V-8 engine... don't NEED such a heavy, powerful motorcycle ... don't NEED a house with five bedrooms ... don't NEED a wife with such large breasts...don't NEED a dog with such sharp teeth and so on?
This kind of "Chicken Little" reactionary noise is entirely useless. I am going to notify every legislator in my food chain that they need to take you behind the Capital and beat the crap out of you.
CC: Sen. Trent Lott
Sen. Orrin Hatch
Sen. Susan Collins
Rep. Mark Sanford
Rep. Robert Barr
Sen. Strom Thurmond
Sen. Ernest Hollings
[This message has been edited by sensop (edited October 20, 2000).]
