I'm feeling a bit humorous today, so I thought I would share this. Our city Fire Chief recently resigned for another position up North. With his departure the local newspaper published an article (to follow) that seems to accurately describe the profession. I have heard variations of some these before, but they still ring true for all professions and at the very least conjure a good laugh. Feel free to share your own personal observations or similar rules.
DEFINITIONS ROOTED IN FIRE CHIEF'S EXPERIENCES
By John Boyle; Published 04/03/00
Becoming a paramedic requires extensive training, which helps immensely when it comes to making heat-of-the-moment decisions such as whether to apply the defibrillator to yourself or the patient.
But despite those long hours spent in the classroom, nothing compares to real-life experience. That's why John Rukavina, the Asheville Fire Department's outgoing chief, has formulated and distributed "EMS Definitions and Rules to Live By."
It includes useful descriptions of various public safety phenomena, including "Twodude Syndrome," the "Intoxicated Driver Axiom" and "Positive Samsonite Sign." We'll explain these later, but Rukavina wants the general public to know up front that no offense is intended and that he and his firefighters do take their jobs very seriously. And most importantly, all patients are treated equally - even though they may not weigh equally on a stretcher.
"It's our way of helping to reduce the stress of sometimes dealing with some pretty ugly situations," said Rukavina, chief since 1984 and an emergency response worker since 1972. "The idea that firefighters, police officers and paramedics have a morbid sense of humor is pretty well established."
So without further ado, here's an incomplete list of "sniglets, axioms and other EMS rules," as he calls them:
Twodude Syndrome - Victim reports minding his own business when two dudes beat
him for no apparent reason.
Code Surfing - Riding the stretcher into the emergency room while performing CPR.
Bug Zapper (or The Welder) - Defibrillator.
Wailenyelps - Exciting new noises created by holding the siren down between clicks.
Nocturnal Pharmaceutical Transaction - drug deal.
Acute Traumatic Lead Poisoning - gunshot victim.
Positive Samsonite Sign - Victim requests an emergency response and upon arrival is standing at the curb with a suitcase.
Frequent Flyer - Person who constantly calls for an ambulance with no true emergency.
Golden Four Minutes - The critical period prior to shift change when your relief has yet to report for duty when calls come in.
EMS rule of threes in a cardiac arrest - Greater than 300 pounds, 30 minutes prior to shift change and three stories up in the building.
Intoxicated Driver Axiom - The number of beers drunk drivers tell you they drank is
directly proportional to the number of six-packs they had. Therefore, if they tell you
they only had a couple of beers, multiply by six-packs.
Other rules:
* Always honor a threat.
* The patient with the pointed, loaded weapon is the incident commander.
* If the patient fell and was moved by the family, they will have moved the person
so that climbing the stairs is involved.
* If you respond to an auto accident after midnight and you do not find anyone
intoxicated, keep looking - you've missed a patient.
DEFINITIONS ROOTED IN FIRE CHIEF'S EXPERIENCES
By John Boyle; Published 04/03/00
Becoming a paramedic requires extensive training, which helps immensely when it comes to making heat-of-the-moment decisions such as whether to apply the defibrillator to yourself or the patient.
But despite those long hours spent in the classroom, nothing compares to real-life experience. That's why John Rukavina, the Asheville Fire Department's outgoing chief, has formulated and distributed "EMS Definitions and Rules to Live By."
It includes useful descriptions of various public safety phenomena, including "Twodude Syndrome," the "Intoxicated Driver Axiom" and "Positive Samsonite Sign." We'll explain these later, but Rukavina wants the general public to know up front that no offense is intended and that he and his firefighters do take their jobs very seriously. And most importantly, all patients are treated equally - even though they may not weigh equally on a stretcher.
"It's our way of helping to reduce the stress of sometimes dealing with some pretty ugly situations," said Rukavina, chief since 1984 and an emergency response worker since 1972. "The idea that firefighters, police officers and paramedics have a morbid sense of humor is pretty well established."
So without further ado, here's an incomplete list of "sniglets, axioms and other EMS rules," as he calls them:
Twodude Syndrome - Victim reports minding his own business when two dudes beat
him for no apparent reason.
Code Surfing - Riding the stretcher into the emergency room while performing CPR.
Bug Zapper (or The Welder) - Defibrillator.
Wailenyelps - Exciting new noises created by holding the siren down between clicks.
Nocturnal Pharmaceutical Transaction - drug deal.
Acute Traumatic Lead Poisoning - gunshot victim.
Positive Samsonite Sign - Victim requests an emergency response and upon arrival is standing at the curb with a suitcase.
Frequent Flyer - Person who constantly calls for an ambulance with no true emergency.
Golden Four Minutes - The critical period prior to shift change when your relief has yet to report for duty when calls come in.
EMS rule of threes in a cardiac arrest - Greater than 300 pounds, 30 minutes prior to shift change and three stories up in the building.
Intoxicated Driver Axiom - The number of beers drunk drivers tell you they drank is
directly proportional to the number of six-packs they had. Therefore, if they tell you
they only had a couple of beers, multiply by six-packs.
Other rules:
* Always honor a threat.
* The patient with the pointed, loaded weapon is the incident commander.
* If the patient fell and was moved by the family, they will have moved the person
so that climbing the stairs is involved.
* If you respond to an auto accident after midnight and you do not find anyone
intoxicated, keep looking - you've missed a patient.
