Hello, and welcome.
Your husband is correct. The .22 LR round, while fine for target practice and plinking, is absolutely worthless as a self-defense round. In order to stop someone with a .22, you have to be a perfect shot. Can you be perfect when nervous, or just roused from a sound sleep? Any defensive firearm used, must have some margin for error. You can't always hit center mass, or hit a target squarely between the eyes. If your target is moving, can you be perfect?
The mere sight of a firearm won't just scare off an intruder in many instances. In those cases, you must have a firearm capable of stopping the bad guy. And the .22 caliber (long rifle or magnum) just isn't up to the task.
The minimum you should consider would be a .38 caliber revolver, and preferably something larger, let us say, in the .40-.45 caliber range. A 9mm Parabellum automatic should also be considered a minimum.
With the right instruction and dedicated practice, you can become comfortable and proficient with a larger caliber revolver or semi-automatic pistol. Start by going to a firing range and renting a larger caliber pistol or revolver. This will also give you a starting reference point. However, be sure you have someone who can provide good instruction with stance, gun hold, and the other details which will put you in charge of the firearm.
I do disagree with your husband about the noise factor. When under high stress, neither party (you or the bad guy) will be distracted by a gun shot, no matter how loud. In an enclosed environment, any firearms will seem like a cannon.
Good luck, and fear not!