I recommend against hand raps or any other add on to help with recoil. J Frames are for SD and you won't normally walk around with padding on your hand/arms to absorb recoil.
Fix the problem in a way it doesn't interfere with the carrying or using the gun for self defense.
Hornady just came out with low recoil Critical Defense ammo. It was designed for recoil shy ladies (don't let that bother you). Its a 90 grn bullet and watching the test in gelatin, it had excellent expanding and penetration qualities.
The only problem I saw with it was the pink tip. But in your gun, only you know what color the bullet is.
I teach a woman's firearm class and many of the ladies show up with J-frames. I furnish the ammo so as I can provide light loads so I can teach the ladies to shoot instead of flinch.
I carry LSWCs in my 642, they aren't hot by a long shot, I don't believe one needs to have +P hyper velocity ammo for self defense. If the bullet will penetrate 6 inches, it will get to the vitals.
No bullet, regardless of velocity will guarantee a stop. Don't believe it watch some hunting shows on TV. You'll see deer and other animals run off after being shot in the vitals with a heavy rifle, which hits a lot harder then any pistol/revolver round. There is no Guaranteed DRT bullets.
Better off shooting something you can handle. If you load load light. For carry try the 90 Gr Hornady Critical defense ammo.
As I said I carry LSWCs w/a velocity of about 750 FPS, or less. I've put down horses with this bullet out of my 642. It works because I can shoot it. I'm recoil shy, but I dislike flinching less then I dislike recoil.