Oldjarhead,
First, Semper Fi
Second, i have 2 RMR sighted handguns. 1 fullsize M&P and 1 Glock 19. I am also a professional weapons and tactics trainer (now in private practice).
Here is my take on reddots on handguns after about 8000 rounds and a year of use on those guns.
At ultra close range (contact to about 3yards) the red dot is not going to come into play. Shots at those distances should be taken from a retention position out to partially extended and looking over the gun. So the sights are not actually used regardless of type of sights you have.
From 3-5yards just looking thru the window and seeing his chest will give you good hits, regardless of the dot being visible or not. This assumes you have the training and practice to draw the gun with enough kinesthetic awareness to get the hits on tgt. Looking thru the window just CONFIRMS reasonable alignment.
5-7 (maybe 10) yards you should see the dot somewhere in the window. The good news is that at those distances, you should have a complete draw stroke and be at full extension.
Beyond 10yds is where the reddot SHINES (pun intended). Single focal plane, no misalignment of front and rear sights...MUCH more consistant hits from 15-100yards.
The other place the reddot is worth the price of admission is small tgts at close range. A head shot at 7 is EASY, pick which eye to hit and press the trigger gently....Done
Most CCW shootings happen pretty close and the reddot is really not needed. As a LEO who might need to shoot farther then 3-5 yards, i think its a good way to go IF you are willing/able to put in the reps to get proficient with it.
My paster has an RMR sighted G19. He figures if he has to go to guns with an active shooter be wants the most accurate system. I agree and my RMR sighted gun goes to service with me.