Reciprocal of Parking Lot Thread

T

Tanzer

New member
Remember the thread that posed a situation in which two guys are walking behind you as you go to your car?

I just got back from running an errand for my wife. Got my little bag of goodies in my hand as I walk out of the store. Being the chivalrous gent that I am, I opened the door for a girl in her say, mid-twenties, and she went out before me. Now, I'm following my "Code Yellow" routine (it's dark here on the east coast-6:45 or so). Yup, looking around, noticing that guy who was in his car when I went in, and still is, etc.
Here's something I didn't realize; I had been keeping step with the young lady, about 15 feet behind. When she suddenly upped her pace, I realized; "Hey (boink to the head noise), I must have been making her nervous"! At this point, I purposely stopped, did the "check my pocket" routine, then slowed my pace to give her the opportunity to get in her car without hitting herself with the door out of haste. I kinda felt bad. I am a good guy afterall.
Aside from the fact that it made her unduly nervous, and so (hopefully) no one answers; "Too bad for her", let me ask;

How many of us are aware of the reciprocal of parking lot awareness? What if she had some OC spray and wasn't trained in (or didn't care about) its proper application? EG: Mom gives her some and tells her not to be hesitant with it.
I certainly didn't deserve an OC blast, but what are the chances I may have gotten one?
 
I'm as well impressed that she noticed you, can't say that about a lot of young ladies now a days unfortunatly....pisses me off matter of fact. I would not doubt that if she had some and wasn't trained or is sensitive to such uncomfortness, she would have wasted some of that on you. I'm sure its happened before. By the way, its good to hear there is vigilant concealers out there, it makes the world a lot safer for the ones that aren't. Too bad she probably will never know you were one of the good guys and maybe there could have been a chance the parkinglot-pimp/car camper may have done something stupid if you weren't 15ft behind her.
 
"...I opened the door for a girl..." That alone tells her something. It isn't a bad thing. Gentlemen still open doors for women. Young girls aren't stupid. They know who is a threat and who isn't.
"...she suddenly upped her pace..." That doesn't mean that you're being there had anything to do with it.
 
They know who is a threat and who isn't.
"...she suddenly upped her pace..." That doesn't mean that you're being there had anything to do with it.
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You may indeed be correct, so don't take this as argumentative. My instinct told me that she was nervous. She gave a half look over her shoulder, adjusted her purse, and I]really[/I] did pick up that pace. She had a pair of clacky heels on and it went from "Clack....Clack....Clack" to "CalckClackCalack, so I'm gonna say she was nervous. Even if it's not the case in this instance, it's a legitimate situation.
 
Not intending to play Devil's Advocate here, but I could see where you actions as far back as the door could've been misinterpreted.

Possibly, in her mind, that guy just held open the door for me to size me up. Now he's following me to my car. OMG! What do I do??? To respond to one who acknowledged Gentalmen earlier in the thread, many people of my age don't believe the idea of chivalry exists today, and might believe that the simple and kind act of holding a door has a hidden agenda (makes it a PITA for kids like me who were raised right... :mad: )


I think this is a nice addition to the previous parking lot thread, in that people are always going to be walking either to or from their auto. This thread helps to put our perspective to a possible attacker. We've all got the option of walking pretty much those two ways only. Of course we're going to be followed by someone or follow someone ourselves. It's a matter of reading people's body language and trying to decipher what their intentions might be.
 
Here is something else to think about. I wonder if she is somewhere posting about how she was almost attacked by the weird guy that held the door open for her? At least for me it makes me think about some of these "I was almost attacked" scenerios people post.
 
Yes, I try not to put myself on intercept courses with people and don't shadow others in public. Sort of like not driving in someone's blind spot. ;)
 
"...I opened the door for a girl..." That alone tells her something. It isn't a bad thing. Gentlemen still open doors for women. Young girls aren't stupid. They know who is a threat and who isn't.
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I think that idea went out with Ted Bundy.
 
Pointing your car alarm remote at your car and chirp it so she knows your exact destination could've also been a good idea. That lets her know exactly where you're headed and why you're so close on her tail. If your car is before hers, she knows you will stop before you pass that car. If your car is past hers, she will estimate that you are going to walk right past her to get to your car.
 
Its a parking lot guys. If she felt threatened and increased her speed to assess the situation or gain distance more power to her. I would and have done similar. It is however not my duty to make anyone feel comfortable by changing my walk to accommodate their fear or concerns. I will never try to scare someone purposely but I won't go out of my way to baby them either.

If she pepper sprays someone for walking behind her she will be jailed then sued. Until the potential threat becomes a real and imminent threat you cannot use force of any kind.
 
It is however not my duty to make anyone feel comfortable by changing my walk to accommodate their fear or concerns
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True enough, but then there is no law against being a jerk. Common decency is too often lacking in our day to day interactions with each other. I often go out of my way to help strangers or make some feel safer if I can. I figure I can use the good karma.
 
If she pepper sprays someone for walking behind her she will be jailed then sued. Until the potential threat becomes a real and imminent threat you cannot use force of any kind.
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True, but I don't want to be OC'd.
Threegun, that's what the thread is about; We all live within norms. Try not to swear in front of kids, don't get the Sunday paper off the lawn until you've put some pants on, etc. As a CWP holder, those standards are increased. If I got OC'd, and the police come because some blue-hair figured out how her cell phone works, the cops see a guy holding his face and find a .45 on his waist. Then the girl is saying; "He had a gun"!!! No, not reason enough to charge me, but at renewal time I have some explaining to do because of the police report ( it's hard to get & maintain one here).
I see what you mean. There's only two people I really don't want to to p*ss off - my wife and my boss. I'm more concerned with the "etiquette" of walking around other people. I have OC, a weapon, and a short blade. I'm NOT the right target to pick. BTW - she would have been an easy target if I were a BG.
 
Justme, I too hold doors open for anyone following close behind (not just women). I am courteous also. I just don't have the time to be concerned about alarming a woman or anyone for that matter walking in front of me. I am busy monitoring my own safety and who might be a threat to me. I don't expect Joe blow to accommodate my safety concerns. I just do what I need to do to keep my situation under control so as not to inconvenience others. If I feel uncomfortable with Joe walking to close behind me.......I will move away or change speeds etc. Didn't mean to sound so a-hole-ish.
 
Threegun, you bring up a good point in that if we were all aware, this would be a pointless conversation because we'd all be on guard. Unfortunately, a whole lot of people walk around unaware. The problem arises when they suddenly become aware. Some will act irrationally.
 
The problem arises when they suddenly become aware. Some will act irrationally.
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Just as if we as CWP holders act outside of our rights we face criminal and civil penalties an unarmed or pepperspray armed civilian will face the same penalties.

Anyway I rarly get within pepper spray range of anybody. The rare exception may be a pretty woman. Getting peppered is mild to what my wife would do to me if I tried any funny business LOL. Bobbit rings a bell.
 
I'm on the common courtesy boat. Too often does common courtesy lack these days. I personaly don't consider slowing down a bit to give enough space to make another person comfortable "going out of my way" now if I changed my coarse and went into another isle then yeah I can see your point. Besides, its a gentleman thing to do considering women are more prone to be sensitive to such situations....or at least they should these days. I suppose times are changing to my unliking, but I'd personaly do anything I can within reason to make a lady feel comfortable. I too hold doors open regardless male or female if they are within a certain distance of a door that I've just open, but as sexist as it may sound to some wacky activists, I feel its somewhat an obligation to do so for a lady.(but when they don't say at least a "thanks" I wish I'd slam the door in their face instead, pardon the honesty) Furthermore, I'd feel like an arse if I didn't, so I guess its also a self-serving thing, everyone wins.
 
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