Recent Florida "Xbox" Murders Prompt Calls for a Ban on Aluminum "Assault Bats"

R

Raccoon

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The recent murders in Florida over an XBOX video game system proves that Aluminum Baseball Bats should be banned. Given the power of these bats compared to wooden bats the killers were able to make even victim identification with dental records impossible.

1. Aluminum bats are clearly assault bats with only one purpose: to kill people using as few swings as possible.
These bats are so powerful that they are banned even by Major League Baseball which provides incontrivertible evidence that they have no legitimate sporting purpose.
2. Aluminum Assault Bats are so lightweight that killers favor them for their rapid swinging capacity. They can club victims continually while taking fewer pauses for rest (energy reloading).
3. Aluminum Assault Bats come with a rubber 'club' grip which despite claims to the contrary is not purely cosmetic and must in some way contribute to the power or swinging capacity of the bat.
We believe that while a Ban on Aluminum Assault Bats might not have prevented this terrible tragedy we would like to exploit this opportunity to call attention to the need to ban assault bats.
We would also like to assure bat owners and baseball enthusiasts that we respect and defend their right to own bats for safe and responsible play. Only extremists would consider safe storage laws intended to keep bats away from children a threat to bat ownership and baseball.
I J.K. am also a bat owner and a sports enthusiast even if I cannot pitch as half as well as G.B. and had to borrow a safe wooden bat for my clearly staged photo ops. My friends C.S., D.F. and of course S.B. also support responsible bat ownership and bat safety.
 
You don't need a bat that powerful for bunting. I've been a bunter all my life and I've always used the standard sporting model. Enthusiasts claim to use these during bunting season but they actually end up on the streets in the hands of criminals. I endorse the right to own bats for legitimate bunting purposes but these are just killing machines.
 
Wooden baseball bats are easy to sneak through metal detectors at airports. These things are a menace! Bunters be damned! LMAO
 
As a responsible adult and a Floridian who has friends in the affected area I should be offended by this thread, but ironically I'm not :D
 
Looks like land of Nintendo wants to get in on the act:

Bat-wielding gang go on mugging spree

TAKASAKI, Gunma -- A gang of young men armed with metal baseball bats bashed six people people and robbed them of some 45,000 yen in total in Gunma Prefecture late Tuesday, police said.

Two men approached a high school boy heading home on a bicycle in Takasaki at around 8:30 p.m. on Tuesday.

After hitting the boy in the side of the stomach with a baseball bat, they told him, "Give us your money!"

The two made off with a bag containing 2,000 yen in cash, officers said.

Four hours later, about five men struck a 24-year-old company employee in the back with a bat and took his bag that contained 900 yen.

Several young men attacked three other people in separate incidents in Takasaki and one person in another part of Gunma Prefecture between Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning.

The victims and witnesses told police that the robbers looked to be 18 to 20 years old and were about 75 centimeters tall. They fled in a black car in most cases.

Officers are now investigating whether the same young men were responsible for three other muggings that targeted men on bicycles in Gunma from Monday to early Tuesday. (Mainichi Shimbun, Japan, Aug. 11, 2004)

http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/20040811p2a00m0dm007000c.html
 
I heard Glock has an all ceramic bat that will go through metal detectors and X-ray machines without being detected.

REally, it's time something were done about this. We may have needed bats back in the days of the Revolution, but we live in a modern world now, we don't need them anymore.

And anyway, everybody knows that bats are just a substitute for manhood.
 
Or someone could pick up a branch. I mean really are they doing to ban trees now becasue they and be converted into bats? Maybe stones need banned too.
 
A Modest Proposal...

As most of you have discerned the post at the top was based on a real incident but, as far as I know, there have been no calls to ban the assault weapons used in that crime. Now if those six had been killed by guns I can guarantee that everyone would immediately know of the X-box murders. That was my point.
As for the responses well they were on target and very funny. Just to be clear, I am both an Xbox and Aluminum Assault Bat owner. I do not own a semi-auto covered by the ban (or even a post ban version) but that's because I've been collecting other evil looking guns (two Interwar and World War II Mauser 98's).
Just as Jonathan Swift meant no disrespect for the starving people of Ireland when he wrote his satire "A Modest Proposal" to critique his government's ill treatment of the Irish I mean no dispespect for the folks who were killed. I thank the poster from that part of Florida for understanding.
As a Floridian myself I know that those bat wielding bastards are soon going to get a taste of Jeb Bush Justice. We may have retired Old Sparky but we've learned how to lethally inject. The guilty will be punished and proponents will happy to know they're all over eighteen.
And you can bet we won't let them play their Xbox on Death Row!
 
I think that most of you have missed the obvious . There should be a 15 day waiting time for X-Boxes during which time the buyer could be checked out . Anyone thought capable of murder if their X-Box is stolen would be denied an X-Box . Anyone trying to make a child buy one for them while holding an aluminum baseball bat will be charged with an attempted straw purchase .
 
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