Range vs. Real-world

B

BritGirl

Inactive
OK, bear with me on this thread -- I'm probably going to sound totally pathetic.

A quick background will help. Until a month ago I had NEVER held a firearm, let alone thought about owning one. I'm British, and even our cops don't typically carry firearms (culturally, just very different than here) Then we were broken into on election night (GO BUSH) - very scary as we were in the house. My husband is battling cancer and is very frail, and I'm 41 yrs old and weigh 115 lbs wet! That evening something changed, those BGs crossed the line by intruding in my home, and I vowed that would never happen again.

The cop investigating the burglary suggested I get a firearm. Unfortunately, I live in a high-crime city (in deep south). I called my LE friend who helped me learn the basics of gun safety, gun selection, etc. However, following my purchase - Taurus .38 SPL 850 CIA 2" I've had a psychological challenge (hopefully temporarily):

At the range which is a controlled environment I'm comfortable handling and using the gun. However, at home, I've yet to keep it loaded. I think the key issue is I doubt my proficiency. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and I feel I'm not ready to have a loaded gun in a situation that may be confrontational. For example, if I was broken into again and heard BGs downstairs, I would absolutely NOT confront them. If they came upstairs, that's a whole different situation, and they deserve what they get. But, I start thinking....what if my first shot misses, what if my second shot misses....they'll charge me, and put a few slugs in me, and then I'll be dead. Perhaps I've been reading too many of those tactical threads :)

Point being, is it somewhat normal to be anxious about the responsibility of having a loaded gun at home? I don't feel like the problem is insurmountable, but I'm a bit surprised at my reaction. I'm hoping once I'm more proficient I'll be comfortable enough to start thinking about personal defense vs. target shooting. Any advice?
 
I have a few points that might help.

Not searching out and confronting an intruder is a perfectly good tactic.
Fort up and ambush him if he approaches you. Otherwise let him go with the crown jewels.

The large majority of assaults are resolved by the mere display of a weapon (and a determined manner) by the intended victim. I have heard 10 of 11.

If your crime-ridden Southern city happens to be Memphis, contact Tom Givens at Rangemaster. He can advise and expertly instruct on equipment, technique, tactics and what Jeff Cooper calls mindset. Even if you aren't there, it would be worth the trip.

Borrow some back numbers of The American Rifleman and read The Armed Citizen column. These are actual cases of armed self defense. Most will show that anybody can prevail against attack if armed and determined, even if things do not proceed according to the tactical textbook.

And join the NRA, they -WE- are the largest organization working to maintain the rights of gunowners.
 
Mindset is maybe the most important single factor in self defense. If one does not have the mindset skill will not make up the difference.

Consider that you are going to have to defend your husband and yourself if you are attacked. His current battle with cancer makes it impossible for him to be the home defender as he once was. It is up to you.

[For example, if I was broken into again and heard BGs downstairs, I would absolutely NOT confront them.]

That is very wise, and I think that the best course of action for any of us is to secure the family area and call 911. A cell phone might be better in the event of cut lines. Let them steal what they can until the police arrive. But if they seek to come into your secured area that is a different ball game, and that is where your mindset comes in. It is up to you to defend your family. Make up your mind whether you are willing to do that or allow the thugs to do as they will.

If your decision is to defend, and I bet that is the decision, then prepare yourself to the best of your abilities mentally and physically, and skill with your gun to do what is necessary even if it includes shooting one or more people. Make up your mind ahead of time and you will not have to wonder if you can do it or not. Decide that you can and will do whatever is required to defend your husband and yourself.

I think that your concern is normal, and those who have had much experience teaching new shooters in self defense can give better thoughts in that area.

Remember that the confrontation will be at close range, and you will have to react quickly. You can develop the skill necessary in a short time with some instruction from a friend or other who is experienced.

I might add, that a 20 ga shotgun loaded with buckshot stashed in your bedroom is about as good as it gets to repel an intruder.

You are a wise woman and I admire your dedication to your husband, and to protect the family. Make up your mind that you can and will shoot if necessary and do it if it comes to that. Do not let an attacker get close to you or he may disarm you. Keep practicing a you can.

I will pray that your husband recovers well and soon.

Jerry
 
I've been through 2 of Tom Given's classes, Level 1 and Level 2, and am signed up for Level 3. Ditto on Jim Watson's comments. It isn't often that I'm able to say a teacher can change your life, but in TG's case believe it. He may have the bedside manner of a Marine Drill Instructor but you WILL learn how to handle a firearm and properly defend yourself. Check him out.

U.F.O.
 
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I think it is something you get used to and as time goes on you will start to feel comfortable, and take comfort, in having protection. No kids then I cannot see any reason to have a gun unloaded. Finger off the trigger until you are raising the gun. These things can't hurt anyone until someone pulls the trigger. I really think the news media has done a great job of demonizing firearms and this takes quite a bit to overcome. As you know, the police are not here to provide personal protection so your mind set has to accept that this is your responsibility.
A lot of the training is mental but repetition will ensure you will do the right thing. I love the revolver since the Bad Guy can see the ammo and is the epitimy of simplicity. Met an old timer that sold me a few guns and gave me a lot of good advice. When I asked about the sights on my snubbys he just laughed and asked me if I could point my finger at what ever I looked at. Yes I can in fact I have been pointing fairly accuratly since I was about 3 years old so I suppose I have had a lot of practice too.
Your gun is your friend. If things get bad think how you would feel if you didn't have a gun. It is cheap life insurance. The bad guy does not care about you, and I have very low regard for how they will fare after they come into my house. Been told to aim for center mass at belt buckle level as most shoot high under stress.
 
You are NOT unusual. First, let me offer support for your husband. Colon and skin myself. The purchase of speedloaders is my suggestion. HKS or Safariland make good ones. This device holds live rounds, you simply insert the rounds into the open cylinder, close the cylinder and you are ready. This allows you to have the weapon unloaded but, gives you a rapid loading. Mindset? If you are upstairs with your husband and the BGs come up the stairs, they have mens rea, evil intent. Shoot to live.
 
Britgirl,
Welcome to the forum and the world of firearm ownership.The ownership of a firearm carries a lot of responsibility. You obviously appreciate that. Preserving life is also a lot of responsibility. You have made the first step towards that. No question is too basic and no fear too silly here.

Your tactics are good in taking a defensive position near your husband and notifying police. There is much more to it than that though. You need to know the laws in your area, preferably from the DA, not a policeman. I would strongly recommend the NRA Personal Protection Course if it is taught in your area. In time, go for your CCW if you can. It is better to have the gun on your person than in a sock drawer upstairs.

Get in some range time. Shoot targets under qualified instruction that are no farther than 15 feet away. Chances are, you will find yourself a lot more proficient than you thought you were. Try to get some range time every week or so until you feel comfortable.

I am not making fun here, but if you fear that gun loaded, try to sleep with one round in the cylinder. The next morning it will still be there. The next night, try two. work your way up to a full cylinder. (I actually had my wife do this with a J frame in her purse. It worked.) If that doesn't do it, load the gun and lay it on your kitchen table and watch it. Note any untoward movements it makes. Chances are, you will see none. If none of this works, at least get a speedloader.

Please realize that a knife would be a better weapon than an unloaded gun. Load that gun. You will not have time to do so in a crisis.
 
Thanks all for the advice. Training is definitely key. I literally have decades of catching-up to do. The first day at the range, there was a father teaching his young son, I had to admire the scene.

Tom Givens sounds incredible, and hey, nothing wrong with sounding like a Marine Drill Instructor (Semper Fi). Unfortunately, I live in New Orleans, not Memphis, but I'll definitely check-out some regional training. I'm also thinking about getting my CCW permit. I've heard there is a one day training for this purpose - which scares me more than impresses me. It seems strange that someone can literally only have one day of training, and then they're free to roam the streets with a concealed weapon. I was expecting something far more rigorous!

As far as my reference to a gun "downstairs" -- good point about arming the intruder.

You're right about these scumbags not placing much value on life. They're so brazen. They had the audacity (or perhaps they were just dumb) to break-in by climbing thru my doggie-door. I have a new back door now! Anyway, wouldn't it make you pause not knowing what kind of dog was on the other side. They don't care, they just want to get money by any means to feed their drug habit. Just so happens my dog is a big softie and does not bark, and our alarm was not armed because my husband was still up watching the election results. Amongst the various things they stole were 2 complete sets of kitchen knives. This chilled my husband as he thought about what would have happened if he'd caught their eye from the living room - a knife in the chest would not have been improbable. As I mentioned, he's battling cancer, and has dealt with several critical episodes. He's very weak, and I've stepped-up to be the family protector. It's been a challenging year, and I'm not about to let some low-life be responsible for taking his life or mine.

I feel with more practice combined with training I'll be able to take that next step of keeping a loaded weapon in my bedside table, and yes - I always keep the cell phone there too.
 
I realize travel for training might be difficult with the Mister in dodgy health.
Can you get to the Shreveport area?
Bang, Inc. is run by Jerry Miculeck, the best revolver shooter of our era, maybe any era. He and his wife, Kay Clark Miculeck, daughter of Jimmy Clark one of the premiere pistolsmiths of our era, teach a variety of classes, from the one-day, one box permit class, on up.
Their website is not extensive, but a call or e-mail would be worthwhile.
http://www.bang-inc.com/

There is an IDPA (International Defensive Pistol Association) club at Lake Charles. IDPA is a competition oriented organization, name notwithstanding, but they could probably put you in contact with a local trainer. Chuck Edwards there is a regular poster on some of the boards and lists I frequent and seems a right chap. Contact him at:
cfedwards@centurytel.net
 
A home invasion robbery also sent me down the path of gun ownership. I won't bore you all with the details, but someone followed me into my apartment one night when I had my hands full and couldn't get to the door to lock it. I was pretty much SOL because I was surprised and off-gaurd, and I had almost no time to react. Like you, I was an adult who had never owned a gun.

Anyway, I did a lot of shooting, got a concealed weapon permit, and a shotgun. More importantly, I spent a lot of time replaying the event and evaluating what I would do differently if it happened again. The best conclusion I came to was that I wouldn't change most of what I did. Even without a gun, I survived. I was willing to fight with whatever I had (albeit on less favorable terms), but my instincts kept me calm. Things slowed down, kind of like the way you hear kickers and free thowers say things slow down in clutch situations. Staying calm got me out of the situation without having to fight. Even if I had a gun that night, I hope I would have gotten out the situation in the same manner. On the other hand, my resolve to fight would have been backed up with something more effective than my fists or a candlestick etc. . .

My point is, get as much training as you can and learn as much as you can. But, from experience, I would argue that when your life or the lives of your loved ones are really in danger, you will have more inner strength than you think. No one wants to shoot another person. But, trust yourself that you can do what you need to if it ever happens again. And, even though shooting under stress is different from the range, if you practice defensive shooting, or even if you can score consistent hits at self-defense ranges (say up to ten feet), your skills will be better than you give yourself credit for.
 
BG,
One thing above all else: Do not point your gun at anyone coming after you unless you have made up your mind fully that you can and will shoot if necessary.
Following on- don't point it just to "scare" somebody away, don't ever cock a gun to "emphasize that you're really, really serious", and don't ever count on the mere act of pointing a gun at an intruder to stop him from advancing.
It frequently will, but you have a gender perception working against you. Women are generally regarded among the type of people who'd enter your home feloniously as being less willing to actually shoot an intruder.
If you're not ready and fully committed to using the gun to defend yourself & your husband, you're probably better off without it. It'll be one less stolen gun loose on the streets when he takes it away from you.
One additional bit- a human can cover a short distance, such as inside a typical house, very quickly. If you are ever confronted in your own home, establish a line beyond which you will allow the intruder to come no further. Make that line far enough away that he can't get close enough to grab your gun or hit you before you can react.
I'm not questioning your resolve, just trying to make sure you've looked deep enough inside yourself to gauge it yourself.
Good luck.
RAF Alconbury 1973-75. Enjoyed England. Almost mastered the language.
Denis
 
DPris

Thanks, good advice. The decision to shoot is definitely a hurdle all gunowners must tackle. You have to decide unequivocally you can (will) shoot if necessary. In my case, I believe I've got past that hurdle. My LE friend stressed....and re-stressed you draw the gun, you fire. Do not under any circumstances enter into a dialogue with BGs. If possible, don't ever let them see you first. He explained typically you have 3 seconds or less to shoot an intruder. So, if I'm going to doubt should I/shouldn't I shoot, don't get a gun. He spent the whole day with me - at home and at the range, and he also felt I wouldn't have a psychological problem regarding the decision to shoot.

I think my particular problem is analyzing (over-analyzing perhaps) the outcome of that decision. Because I'm a newbie and have not yet shot enough rounds, I question my proficiency - is my shot going to be accurate enough? So, its more a case of deferring that decision to shoot until I practice some more (500+ rounds). Hopefully, I can take care of that in the next month or so. Until then, I'm operating under the "I don't have a gun yet" premise.

FYI - I have a safe, so no worries about a stolen gun!

What can I say, England and America, two nations divided by a common language :)
 
I think that anxiety is caused by a lack of familiarity/training.
Buy a box of ammo a week and practice with it.
Do that for a few months, then take a training course.
Getting more training is always the best course of action.
If you are uncertain, scared, in a crisis situation, you'll fall back on your training (If you practice it.)
I'd recommend a minimum of 2 months of familiarity with your gun before training, so that you can become familiar with your gun's basic operation, learn to have confidence in it, etc, but not more than a year, because you don't want to learn bad habits, as they are tough to unlearn.
Another great source of info/tips and a definate way to better your shooting, join a local range.
It's easy to make friends, and try out their guns!
It's also easy to evaluate each other on problems you'd never find the answer to yourself-like blinking when you shoot, wrong stance, flinching, etc.
You can't fix it, because you don't know about it.

I feel for you and your husband, my sister is currently battling with cancer, and it has taken it's toll on her, and her family too.
Whatever you do, don't let cancer beat you mentally.
Never give up. Ever.
 
My thoughts on the shoot/no shoot problem

The way I look at this situation, and the way I get past shooting a BG is: The BG has done put him/herself into a situation they know is wrong (such as home invasion/robbery, etc), and that they know the probablity of being injured/shot, etc. I have absolutly no problem with defending myself inside my own home. They know they shouldn't be there, and in FL, they (unless completly devoid of any intelligence) know many people own guns for one reason or another. My advice is to think about, in advance, where you would shoot, where you would "hole up", and while overlooked, read up on your state's laws regarding self defence with a firearm. Some states require you to attempt to flee the home, exhaust all means of escape before shooting, etc. Packing.org has a lot of information about this, and CCW laws. Knowing when you can shoot beforehand may help you make a decision in a situation where you have little time to make one. Also, its better to be tried by 12, then carried by 6.
 
The advice about finding a safe room and thinking in advance about where in your home you would allow BG to get is good advice. In my home safety course, the principle stressed more than anything was HAVE A PLAN. Take some time to come up with a plan that makes sense given the layout of your house, the physical capabilities of everyone in the house, and all of the other variables that are unique to you and your family. Once you have a plan, practice it a bit, both for training purpose and to get it down pat. No need to put on black tactical gear and get the gun out for some dry fire practice on imaginary burglers or anything. Just do a few walk throughs to ensure that it's workable and that you will not have to think about it if the real deal ever happens again. Kind of like fire drills in school.

The plan we came up with at the time was to make our back bedroom the "safe room." This way, if anything goes wrong, the first thing we think about before we do anything else is getting to the bedroom. It is there that I keep the shotgun and most of my handguns. It is also where I charge my phone at night etc. The best case scenerio is that, if someone were to break in again, we would get to the bedroom, lock it up, and wait for the police to arrive. No need to got hunting around a dark house for the BG to save a TV or a DVD player. We also give ample warning that we are armed and that the police have been called. And, if the intruder still insists on breaking through the locked door and the furniture we've put in front of it . . . well, that's a determined, dangerous person in my mind. It won't take much more than that to convince me that deadly force is in order.

As for being able to shoot well enough to defend myself: practice, practice, practice. I shoot at least once every two weeks with my handguns, and I try to practice with the shotgun every few months. Shooting all of my guns is like second nature to me, and I am generally sure that, at the ranges I would encounter in my home (max 10 feet), I can hit what I aim at. that said, I still want the shotgun if I have the option. That's almost fool-proof.

Just keep working at it. You'll get it.
 
Keep a gun handy, keep it loaded. If you have an intruder (make sure it isn't your husband or other family member)- shoot him,and worry about the consequences later.
Brief advice I know, but true.
 
I'm in Louisiana as well. If you shoot an intruder in your home, shoot accurately and quickly. The home invasion itself gives you total justification in the shooting. Chances are it will never go to trial. At least that is what we see here up north of you.
 
The rules on shooting an intruder vary from place to place. Here in Ohio you could actually end-up going to jail for doing it.

The ORC states something like...."A home invasion does not warrant the use of deadly force." It's out there...check it out.

What a bunch of BS.
 
lawyers

Thats what happens when lawyers start getting involved in things that they do not belong in. In My humble opinion, anyone that is breaking & entering, tresspassing, threatening anothers life without provocation (self defence) should have no rights while that person is committing the crime. I.E. can't sue for falling through a skylight, landing on a butcher knife that was left on the chopping block that the resident left out at night, and WINNING. I get so frustrated when criminals further violate law abiding citizens. BTW, make sure ya put yer knives in the safe when you go to bed, and pad all your walls so that when the BG tripps, he dont get a concussion or your finished :eek:
 
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