That corneredcat web site is a good one; brings up viewpoints and issues that elude some of us males. As pointed out above, let HER make the choice...and I'd add, don't show her only models you're interested in. Do get in a range session before buying...it's easy to make a bad choice if you don't.
Revolvers are always a good choice in my opinion for anyone not interested in guns as a hobby, but more as a tool for self defense. DA trigger pulls can be heavy, but gunsmithing and/or spring changes can cure that particular bugaboo. Lastly, a too light gun, with a short barrel may not be a good choice. A range session before purchase will help sort that out as well. J-frames are just enought smaller to accomodate as smaller hand size if that's a consideration too.
Rod