<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
<LI> An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon return, found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun which she was licensed to carry, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required: so get out of the car. The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the drivers seat. Small problem, her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman; no charges were filed.
<LI> On February 3, 1990, a Renton, Washington man tried to commit a robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choice based on the facts listed below:
(1) The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop;
(2) The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places;
(3) To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front door;
(4) An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
<LI> A would-be robber walked into a corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to hand over the Scotch. At this point the robber took his driving license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, agreed that the man was in fact over 21, and put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
<LI> The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50am flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk tuned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
<LI> A man rushed into a bank brandishing a gun intending to intimidate everyone by screaming, "Up with your f - - - - - - hands, this is a stickup." But in his nervousness, it came out, "Up with you sticky hands, this is a f - - - up". After a short pause, tellers, customers and the bank guard began to giggle and the thief was so rattled that he left the bank without carrying out the robbery. The bank now has a plaque on the wall containing the famous phrase (with suitable blank spaces, no doubt).
<LI> During wintertime while it is snowing, a High School student wanted to get some money from local seven eleven. He takes a gun, walks into the store, gets $50, and walks back home which is less than mile away. Cops come, and simply follow the footprints in fresh snow leading toward his home.
<LI> Three men were planning to rob a bank. The got stuck in the revolving doors. The left and came back again a few minutes later and said they were robbing the bank. People remembered them and laughed, thinking it was a joke. They asked for $10,000 dollars. When the laughing continued, they realized that maybe the demands were too high. They eventually went down to $1,000, then $100, then $1 each! When everybody continued laughing, one of the men jumped onto the counter and pulled out a gun. He then fell down and broke his leg. The other two men ran away, stopping only to get stuck in the revolving doors, they went in them the wrong way.
<LI> A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was fifteen dollars.
<LI> A man dines at a fancy restaurant. When he is finished, he tells the waitress he will pay by check. When she takes the check, written on it is "I have a gun. Put all the money from the register into a plain bag and give it to me." The frightened waitress complies, and he calmly leaves the restaurant, immediately changes clothes, and makes his getaway. The cops showed up at his door the next day to arrest him, after finding his name and address on the check he wrote the note on.</UL>
Share what you know, learn what you don't -- FUD
<LI> An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon return, found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun which she was licensed to carry, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required: so get out of the car. The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the drivers seat. Small problem, her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman; no charges were filed.
<LI> On February 3, 1990, a Renton, Washington man tried to commit a robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choice based on the facts listed below:
(1) The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop;
(2) The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places;
(3) To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front door;
(4) An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
<LI> A would-be robber walked into a corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to hand over the Scotch. At this point the robber took his driving license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, agreed that the man was in fact over 21, and put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
<LI> The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50am flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk tuned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
<LI> A man rushed into a bank brandishing a gun intending to intimidate everyone by screaming, "Up with your f - - - - - - hands, this is a stickup." But in his nervousness, it came out, "Up with you sticky hands, this is a f - - - up". After a short pause, tellers, customers and the bank guard began to giggle and the thief was so rattled that he left the bank without carrying out the robbery. The bank now has a plaque on the wall containing the famous phrase (with suitable blank spaces, no doubt).
<LI> During wintertime while it is snowing, a High School student wanted to get some money from local seven eleven. He takes a gun, walks into the store, gets $50, and walks back home which is less than mile away. Cops come, and simply follow the footprints in fresh snow leading toward his home.
<LI> Three men were planning to rob a bank. The got stuck in the revolving doors. The left and came back again a few minutes later and said they were robbing the bank. People remembered them and laughed, thinking it was a joke. They asked for $10,000 dollars. When the laughing continued, they realized that maybe the demands were too high. They eventually went down to $1,000, then $100, then $1 each! When everybody continued laughing, one of the men jumped onto the counter and pulled out a gun. He then fell down and broke his leg. The other two men ran away, stopping only to get stuck in the revolving doors, they went in them the wrong way.
<LI> A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was fifteen dollars.
<LI> A man dines at a fancy restaurant. When he is finished, he tells the waitress he will pay by check. When she takes the check, written on it is "I have a gun. Put all the money from the register into a plain bag and give it to me." The frightened waitress complies, and he calmly leaves the restaurant, immediately changes clothes, and makes his getaway. The cops showed up at his door the next day to arrest him, after finding his name and address on the check he wrote the note on.</UL>
Share what you know, learn what you don't -- FUD