George Hill
Staff Alumnus
Notice from Microsoft:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas
Edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped
outside of Texas.
If you have one of the Texas Editions you may need some help
understanding the commands.
The Texas Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening
screen.
It reads WINDERS98 with a background picture of the Alamo
superimposed on the Texas flag. It is shipped with a Leann
Rimes screen saver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse.
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption.
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol Boys.
Control Panel is known as the Dashboard.
Hard Drive is referred to as Wheel Drive.
Floppies are Them Little Ol' Plastic Disc Thangs.
Other features: Instead of an Error Message you get a Winder
covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
Terminology:
OK = ats aww-right.
Cancel = hail no.
Reset = aw shoot.
Yes = shore.
No = Naaaa.
Find = hunt-fer it.
Go to = over yonder.
Back = back yonder.
Help = hep me out here.
Stop = ternit off.
Start = crank it up.
Settings =sittins.
Programs = stuff that does stuff.
Documents = stuff I done done.
Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters
or punctuation marks. We regret any inconvenience it may have
caused if you received a copy of the Texas Edition. You may
return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
------------------
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud
Hey - have you seen the new Ultimate Super Tactical Match Gun?
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas
Edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped
outside of Texas.
If you have one of the Texas Editions you may need some help
understanding the commands.
The Texas Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening
screen.
It reads WINDERS98 with a background picture of the Alamo
superimposed on the Texas flag. It is shipped with a Leann
Rimes screen saver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse.
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption.
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol Boys.
Control Panel is known as the Dashboard.
Hard Drive is referred to as Wheel Drive.
Floppies are Them Little Ol' Plastic Disc Thangs.
Other features: Instead of an Error Message you get a Winder
covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
Terminology:
OK = ats aww-right.
Cancel = hail no.
Reset = aw shoot.
Yes = shore.
No = Naaaa.
Find = hunt-fer it.
Go to = over yonder.
Back = back yonder.
Help = hep me out here.
Stop = ternit off.
Start = crank it up.
Settings =sittins.
Programs = stuff that does stuff.
Documents = stuff I done done.
Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters
or punctuation marks. We regret any inconvenience it may have
caused if you received a copy of the Texas Edition. You may
return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
------------------
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud
Hey - have you seen the new Ultimate Super Tactical Match Gun?