News from the Balonian insurrection

L

Lavan

New member
Rebellion erupted today in the Republic of Balonia. Rebels deprived of their
gun rights as guaranteed by the Balonian gov’t were suspended and the
country erupted in warfare. Rebels are currently seizing the grandchildren
of all Balonia representatives who are anti-gun and are holding them in
an undisclosed location as a guarantee of restoration of gun rights as
the Balonians fought for when they gained independence. The rebels
are using public records at Balonian courthouses and real estate title
insurance companies to locate the homes of the offending representatives.
More later as it comes in from the front.
 
OK Lavan, I did a search on the Republic of Balonia and came up with zilch.

Either
<OL TYPE=A>
<LI>You've been reading Unintended Consequences way too much.
or
<LI>The Republic of Balonia is right next to the Commonwealth of Salami.
or
<LI>I need to brush up on my world geography.
</OL>
 
Lavan, you seem to have a source. Any truth to the rumors that East Elbonian "peacekeeper" mercenaries are being quietly moved into Balonia by the Balonian gov't and the U.N.? In black helicopters?
:D
 
It is truly a shame that the Bolonions allowed their Govt. to go the way of of the Republic of Bratwurstenstein. Perhaps through their somewhat greasy methods of retaliation, they will be able to escape the red ring of commies subverting their rights. :D

Sandwiched between Breadada and breadico, which also have terrible restrictions on their rights, It will be hard for the Mustardian rebels to win... ;)

Lettuce all remember that it started with lawsuits filed by the Mayo's of large cities in a pickle about their crime rates. :D
 
Did you guys know that the Big Cheese of Balonia has a Bacon Factor of 1? Seems they were seen together in some film - cant remember the title... A Few Good Menues was it?
 
I just heard that the Republic of Mayo has spread all across Balonia. The news did say that the Kingdom of Panblanco has them covered.
 
It sounds like the brave heroes of Balonia had made their preparations well in advance and were ready for the wurst-case scenario.
 
Early reports that Mayo, Turkey, and Panblanco were assisting Balonia were in error. These countries were all invaded by Balonian troops when the Premier of Balonia, a lecherous proven liar, unilaterally sent Balonian troops to those countries to meddle even without the approval of the Balonian congress.
Godspeed to the rebels.
 
At last report, recent weather fronts have made temps in the tiny Republic a bit chili, and troops were digging in, expecting the wurst from the Swiss' stake in the conflict.
Meanwhile in the neutral city of Hamburg, deli-cate talks were under whey in an attempt to resolve the dill-emma.
When the Balonian Head Cheese was asked about the progress of the talks, he responded with relish "We mayo may not be in a pickle now, but when the Swiss incursion is banished to the far side of the Rye with the help of our Greek allies, then peace will be a feta compli.

------------------
Panzerführer

Die Wahrheit ist eine Perle. Werfen sie nicht vor die Säue.

Those that beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those that don't.
 
As news of the insurrection reaches Monte Cristo and the Sandwich Islands, the French wine because of the news that the minister of agriculture has left Bolognia and is seeking asylum at the Chateau Briand in France.
 
What's the big beef about Balonia? If those turkeys running the government weren't chicken, this wouldn't have happened. Too much pork barrel legislation led the rebels to decide to carve those turkeys up, anyway. They'll be led like lambs to the slaughter Let them stew in their own juices, I say!

BTW, there's no truth to the rumor that Clinton is sending the 1st Mechanized Restaurant Battalion over there, to support UN Pasta keeping activities in the area.

------------------
When they try to take away my 2nd Amendment rights, tell them Hell's comin' and I'm comin' with it! Armed and Dangerous
 
Guess I'll have to be the pigeon here, the carrier of bad news. Riots have broken out! The Frankfurters are revolting!

The rioting seems to be among three groups:
- One group screams "Turn loose the dogs!" They are hot on revolt, these hot dogs.
- Another group says to cut their losses, revenge should be served cold - the cold cuts.
- One moderate group favors the cold cuts but rebukes them for their constant "nay" votes. However, during negotiations they might spread their agenda and agree with the naysayers - the May on Nays.

The Pope organized one Last Supper for all three groups at the French-bred bank. We'll see if we can get the hot dogs, cold cuts and May on Nays to this Roman Meal.

(The bank is small. We'll really have to sandwich them in. ;) )

It's raining and I must return to the bank wet. Events are happening quickly! We need to ketchup!

That's a slice of current events - more to served later during our second course, er, newsbreak.

[This message has been edited by Dennis (edited May 03, 2000).]
 
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