Need some words of wisdom

R

Raoul Duke

Inactive
Over on another forum,www.huntifo.com, under politics and hunting, a good man had his son commit suicide last night. Any one who has words to help might want to say a few. Topec: when death comes home.

------------------
 
Unfortunately, I deal with death and dying on a daily basis. There is nothing worse than going to the grocery store and have life-long friends look the other way just because my daughter is dying. It is natural for people to avoid hurtful topics and situations. People are afraid to talk because they do not know the type of response they will get from the friend or family member. "Will they start crying? I don't want to upset them!" I find families do want to talk and believe me the majority will not fall apart when talking to you. :)

I speak to many families who are in the process, or who have already lost a child. This man is going to go through some really rough times in the next year. My ultimate suggestion would be to offer to talk with him and show your friendship. Do not be afraid to ask him questions. Just talk to him. It doesn't even have to be about his son! Just let him know you are there.


Be there for your friend. Simply say, “I am here, let’s talk.” He may not take you up on the offer right now, but he will eventually, especially if you continue to show your support.

Forum for Families raising a Special Needs Child

Wellman Family Homepage

[This message has been edited by LadydeeJ (edited March 08, 2000).]
 
Sudden death (even not so sudden death) of a loved one is always difficult to deal with. I agree with LadydeeJ, most (although, maybe not all) people in this type of situation need to talk and the best thing that someone can do is listen. Words of advice very often don't mean much and can sometimes cause more harm than good but letting a person speak what's on their minds can be very beneficial.

When my father passed away a few years ago, I must have retold the events leading to his death at least a couple of dozen times to anyone that seemed willing to listen. Good luck.

Share what you know, learn what you don't -- FUD.
edfudal.jpg
 
No matter what the circumstances, whenever there is loss of life there are two kinds of people. The bereaved, who are unconsolable, and their friends and aquaintences who would give just about anything to console them. When my father past away, I heard these words at least a hundred times: "If there's anything I/we can do, just let us know". Well, everyone knows that there is little that can be done, and the quoted sentance often ends with a few uncomfortable moments for the speaker, and a reassurance of helplessness for the listener. A very good response is: "That's good to know". Those four simple words quite effectively relieve much of the helpless feelings that each person is experiencing, and ends that uncomfortable moment with a strong feeling of inner warmth for each person.
 
I strongly agree
Isn't it strange too, once you hear those words of "if you need anything", you never hear from these people again? It is the only group of words that people know to offer. Then they duck tail and run!

I've lost a lot of friends during my daughter's nine year illness, BUT, I've gained twice as many. Especially from the ones that say,"Jess, go shooting and get your mind off things... I'm usually out the door! My dearest friends know what's good for me! :D

------------------
Shooter's Enrichment Program/Forum
 
Death = unknown. Humans are naturally afraid of the unknown and what it holds. Death is just another step in our evolution. We all tread on this path, it's a natural progression. live life to the fullest TODAY, yesterday's gone and tommorrow is not hear yet..... go figure.
 
Raoul-
I can't locate the discussion you are referring to. I assume you meant huntinfo.com, but I cannot find a discussion forum there.

Jess-
You have mail. I hope it helps in some small way.
Rich
 
I can't even begin to imagine the suffering he will be experiencing. It is beyond words, and I won't even try. They'd have to lock me up in a padded room for about 25 years if that ever happened to me. I'm no stranger to death, but when it is your own son? My prayers will be for this man. May God give some sort of answer or at least comfort to him. I suggest other's pray for him too.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top