My wife is concerned that I am getting extreme, Pt 2

D

Dennis

Staff Emeritus
Mrs. Bornman,

There’s another way of looking at it.

Perhaps we, as a country, have become too extreme in looking to our
government resolve every controversy, pay for every bill, and to solve every
problem. *If* that’s the case, then all we are doing here on TFL is recovering
from the extreme of “dependency”.

The cure for that, it seems to me, would be to regain control over our lives
and to struggle to regain the authority to decide for ourselves what is best for
us.

Guess you could say that we are “recovering” extremists! :D

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Either you believe in the Second Amendment or you don't.
Stick it to 'em! RKBA!
 
Hi Iris,

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I've been shooting with Andrew, and at times have enjoyed and at other times walked away crying because I think about using it in a real situation (myself) and it scares me. [/quote]

To my way of thinking, this is a very reasonable reaction and actually a good sign. It would be scary if the idea of carrying and perhaps using deadly force didn't make you upset when you thought about it.

After all, if you ever do have to shoot someone in self-defense ... that someone will be another mother's child. He might be someone's daddy. Someone's brother, someone's friend, someone's husband or lover.

The most dangerous thing you could do would be to choose to carry a loaded gun without having decided to use it if necessary. Because if you pull the gun out and say "STOP or I'll SHOOT" ... and the criminal doesn't stop and you don't pull the trigger ... well, none of the likely outcomes to that scenario are good. So it's simply smart to think through the emotional costs of pulling the trigger before you ever decide to carry a gun.

It sounds like you've done some serious thinking about that, and that's good. Hopefully when you say you're comfortable using your husband's shotgun to defend your home when he is away, that means you've come to terms with the idea of killing someone if that's what it takes to save your own life.

Think: Is your life less valuable when you're in public?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>this is a good place to get some of my thoughts out where in other circles I would be shot down for even talking about guns let alone saying I might go get a concealed carry permit. [/quote]

:) Too true. TFL is a great place to think through issues like this, isn't it? (Hmmm, maybe that's why Andrew keeps spending time here ...)

Couple of extra thoughts ... none of my friends know about my gun, though most of them do know my political views. I thought long and hard about it and I simply don't want anyone to know that I have a carry permit and use it. It's not really their business; it's mine.

Not only that, but I was afraid that if a friend knew I was carrying a weapon, and I was with her when something bad happened, she might ruin my element of surprise. That could keep my gun from being useful at exactly the time I needed it.



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Pax

"Is there anything wrong with a woman preferring the dignity of an armed citizen? I don't like to be coddled and I don't like to be treated like a minor child. So I waive immunity and claim my right -- I go armed." -- Longcourt Phyllis in Beyond This Horizon by Robert Heinlein
 
One thing I didn't cover in my original post, Iris, and that is that carrying is an option. Either you choose to exercise that option or not. If things get bad and you have not exercised that option, then you don't have the option to benefit from having a gun. If things get bad and you have exercised your option to carry, then you do have the option of using the gun if the situation mandates it...but it is an OPTION.

A friend of mine harped on me for carrying in "safe places" and that I did not need to carry there. Don't believe it. Not only do bad things happen to good people, they often happen in places where people feel safe.
 
To back up Gopher's point:

I live 3-4 miles from a Wal-Mart in an upscale Atlanta suburb. The whole area is rated 9 or 10 out of 10 for crime safety on APBOnline. There is a major police precinct less than a mile down the road. Lots of traffic. You get the idea. A "very safe" place.

3-4 months ago, in the middle of the afternoon, a goblin tried to carjack a guy getting into his car in the parking lot at the Wal-Mart. The citizen was prepared (CCW and firearm), drew, and shot the goblin in the neck. Goblin gets free ride to the jail cell / hospital room at the indigent hospital. Cops deem it a good shoot (were high-5'ing the citizen at the precint, according to one cop I spoke with later), citizen is not charged with anything.

Bad things do happen in "safe" areas. Be a Boy Scout. Be Prepared.

[This message has been edited by JimR (edited July 22, 2000).]
 
Iris,
I just started "carrying" (other than in my car) very recently. I don't like holsters on the hip because I feel that it's too easy for someone to take the gun away. I prefer it to be right in front of me, so I use a fanny pack or a "kangaroo(?)" holster (I think that's what it's called), that goes inside the front of my waistband. I know a lot of guys don't like to carry this way, but women have a different build, so it's easier to have something in front of your waist that isn't so conspicuous if you're wearing a loose-fiting shirt. Also, I know I should be more aware of my surrounds so that I don't have to worry about someone sneaking up on me from behind, but try chasing a three-year old around the mall and you'll see what I mean.
You are wise to be concerned now that you are expecting. This is not intended to be "cheauvanistic," but chances are that you will be soley responsible for the safety of you and your child a lot. The scary thing is that being a woman alone makes you an easy target. Being a woman with a small child makes you a perfect one. You can't just run, because you have the baby to worry about, and you will very often be more preoccupied and less aware of your surroundings.
A few months ago, I took my son to a march on the Governor's mansion to protest "common sense" gun control laws. I figured I was pretty safe being around all those (probably armed) men. Then, afterward, I had to walk back to my car by myself (I should have asked someone to escort me). My son was very cold and he started screaming. I was walking down a dark street in the middle of Denver with a screaming baby. What a perfect target. Too bad I had obeyed the Denver law and not brought a gun along with me. Nothing terrible happened to me, but I was really scared. I would have felt a lot safer if I'd had something for defense.
Anyway, I hope this doesn't make you more scared, it's not intended to. (when I was pregnant, I was SOOOOO paranoind of everything anyway!)
Just thought you might like to hear another woman's perspective. Until about six months ago, I never would have considered carrying a gun around town with me. It seemed like a very odd thing to do, plus, as I said before, I was more afraid of someone getting the gun away from me. Now I carry a little Walther (.32). I know that's not as effective as say, a .45, but I feel more comfortable carrying it because it's so inconspicuous. Nothing can make you not be afraid, but I *guess* that's a good thing. :)
Good luck and congratulations on your (upcoming) baby.
 
It may take awhile, but Missy says she's "mulling over" what she's going to post. I think it's going to be something momentous and maybe not very flattering toward me or TFL, but it will be honest. Keep checking back.
 
In time she will get over it..... Fighting the media and other popular cultural biases takes time. My wife of 20 years is now comfortable with my perspectives. She understands them and is not threatened by them.
 
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