more hysteria in DC...

[dZ]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/local/daily/aug99/device17.htm

Suspicious Device, Accidents Snarl Morning Commute

From Staff Reports
Tuesday, August 17, 1999; 1:29 p.m. EDT

D.C. police evacuated the Crowne Plaza Hotel and
closed several downtown blocks for most of the
morning rush hour to detonate a suspicious suitcase
found in an alley behind the hotel.

The case didn't explode after being doused with water cannons by bomb experts. Police now
say it might have been a torch and other material used for construction.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/WPlate/1999-08/17/115l-081799-idx.html

U.S. Capitol Police responded about 9:40 a.m. yesterday to a call about an injured person and
noxious fumes in the Dirksen Senate Office Building's north cafeteria. A hazardous-materials
team, an advanced life-support unit, doctors, four teams of paramedics and D.C. Fire Chief
Donald Edwards soon followed. First Street NE was closed to traffic between Constitution
Avenue and C Street.

"The haz-mat unit went down, and all the readings were negative," Reid said. "What they found
was a bag of onions . . . and they just gave off a strong odor."

]

[This message has been edited by dZ (edited August 17, 1999).]

 

[Coinneach]

This is getting good. A bag of rotting onions can shut down the federal chicken coop, eh?

Imagine the chaos if someone decided to TP the White House.

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A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil.
Vote Libertarian - For A Change.

 

[Jedi Oomodo]

Or they could...

Hairspray a pentagram on the White house doorstep. Light it. Ring the bell. Run.

Another one... Fill a brown paper bag with dog doody, put it on the doorstep, then set it on fire. Watch on the news as some Clinton flunky is caught on tape stomping out the flames.



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"Is fhe'arr teicheadh math na droch fhuireach"
-Sarabian Oomodo

If it isn't Scottish, it's CRAP!

A firearm isn't a weapon until it is used as such.


[This message has been edited by Jedi Oomodo (edited August 18, 1999).]

 

[DC]

Howling!!!! I love it!

Evening news:

Last night a radical gang of teenage girls committed the worst act of vandalism on the White House since the British burned it down during the War of 1812.

The group known as BIOYE(Blow it out your ear) covered the Presidential dwelling in toilet paper and placed flaming bags of fecal matter at every doorway. FBI estimates that 3.5 tons of various colored toilet paper and 800 lbs of fecal matter was used.
FBI Director Freeh believes that the parent(s) of one or more of the girls has connections with a trucking firm and paper manufacturing facilities. DNA tests are under way to determine the type of fecal matter. The FBI is also investigating possible connections to dog kennels, farms and sewage plants.
The FBI estimates that the group consists of 73 children, based upon the amount of used pink bubblegum and Pepsi cans strewn over the White House grounds.
AG Janet Reno expressed outrage and vowed to "bring these terrorist brats to justice". Reno also urged Congress to enact an age requirement upon the purchase of toilet paper and a possession limit, as "no one needs more than 2 rolls at any one time, and children can get it from their parents". Further, she urged possession limits on bags of dog feces as most people who clean up after their dogs only have one or 2 dogs, therefore a possesion limit of one bag is not unreasonable.

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"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes" RKBA!



[This message has been edited by DC (edited August 18, 1999).]

 

[dZ]

so if you loaded 1000 random people from 1999 USA wash DC suburbia into ox drawn conestoga wagons
how many would be alive at the Mississippi?
seems like a bag of onions is enough to drop 20 percent of them

are we really this soft?

dZ

 

[John/az2]

Al Gore was overheard saying that all of that toilet paper needed to be collected and insisted that the white house use it because if they did not, <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>...those trees will have been destroyed for nothing![/quote]

Of course, the white house is going to have to replace all of their 3.5g flushers with the new economic 1.6g flushers in order to conserve the water that they will be using while disposing of the vadalistic waste.

Sanitation engineers gave a conservative estimate on the time it would take to introduce the toilet paper into the sewage system under normal usage... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Well, considering the amount of toilet paper we're talking about and the about of waste products that the white house produces, we should see this whole situation flushed in a day or two...[/quote]

President Clinton declined comment on the engineers' estimations.

As an aside: The local janitorial supply is in a dither because of the order of plungers placed by Gore's aid.

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John/az

"The middle of the road between the extremes of good and evil, is evil. When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!

http://www.countdown9199.com




[This message has been edited by John/az2 (edited August 18, 1999).]