Hardball: If you haven't already read it, I strongly suggest that you purchase a copy of Patrick McManus book, "The Grasshopper Trap." A boss of mine (now ex-boss, I left that company a while ago) copied a chapter for me entitled "Gunrunning." Here's an excerpt
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Hubert, a young married fellow of my acquaintance, confided in me the other day that he and his wife just had their first quarrel.
"Oh, yeah?" I said. "What about?"
"About practically nothing," he said. "I've been needing a new rifle, so I went out and bought one and took it home to show Joyce. Well, if she didn't hit the ceiling! Mad? Whew! Can you believe it?"
"That was dumb, Hubie," I said. "Risking your marriage over a new gun. I thought you were smarter than that."
"I shouldn't have bought the gun, huh?"
"Of course you should have bought the gun. You needed it didn't you? You just shouldn't have shown the gun to Joyce. Have a little consideration for her feelings, Hubie. Wives have feelings too, you know. The only decent thing for a husband to do is to sneak the new gun into the house. Learn to sneak, man, learn to sneak."
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It goes on from there. It's really hilarious.
M1911