McDonnell Douglas Product Registration

dZ

New member
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order
to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best
meet your needs and desires.

1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen.
[_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other

First Name:.....................................................
Initial:........
Last Name:......................................................
Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
Code Name:......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... /....... /......

4. Serial Number:................................................

5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (ex. Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries (ex. Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all
that apply):
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democrat
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
[_] Postal Worker

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check

12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Working on G.M. Cars
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion / clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
serve you better in the future as well as allowing you to receive mailings
and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
mysterious consortia.

EXTRA!!
As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a
brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
 
Pure gold. I need something like this after listening to the media swoon over Al Bore's pathetic "I'm a fighter" speech.

------------------
"Get yourself a Lorcin and lose that nickel plated sissy pistol."
 
Unfortunately,McDonnell Douglas was bought by Boeing which is now in the process of chopping it up and selling the parts off to foreign owned companies all in the name of cost reductions and being "lean".

------------------
~Gordon~
 
Sadly, even before Boeing acquired them, McD was using offshore produced subassemblys and componants. Some major parts made in Pakistan no less.

------------------
Sam I am, grn egs n packin

Nikita Khrushchev predicted confidently in a speech in Bucharest, Rumania on June 19, 1962 that: " The United States will eventually fly the Communist Red Flag...the American people will hoist it themselves."
 
So, do I need to complete a 4473 when I buy an Apache helicopter?

I'd buy one from a private party, and skip all the paperwork, but I don't see them at the gun shows anymore ... ;)

Live and let live. Regards from AZ
 
ROTFLMAO! :)

Customer feedback forum:

Q: Why is the 20mm gun limited to 10 rounds?
A: Sorry, Federal crime control legislation. We realize that at over 600 rounds per minute you will quickly expend the 10 rounds, and we recommend you carry spare aircraft.

Q: Are night sights available?
A: They are an option. The HUD targeting system sells for $3,275,000 but you get your choice of red, yellow or green dots.
 
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