Dear Parents and Children of America,
The past week has offered two splendid examples of how to conduct yourselves in today's society. The impeachment trial and the NYC lawsuits.
1.) Safe sex. Why bother. The Independent Counsel's report of the sexual encounters of the people involved were so complete in their every detail, it is thereby evident that no protection of any sort is needed to have sexual contact with another person. Ignore your partners past reputation for multiple sexual partners, whether true or not. All this hype about communicable disease is overstated.
2.) The truth shall set you free. Why bother. A good lie can do the same thing, if you can stick to it. If you can't get by with a lie, then just answer a question with a question. When all else fails, just say "I'm sorry" whether you mean I'm sorry for what I did, or I'm sorry I got caught, or just simply I'm sorry, but I don't give a crap. The important thing is to say, " I'm sorry".
3.) Act responsibly. Why bother. Somebody else can always cover things up for you. If they can't, refer to point 2.
4.) Do unto others etc... Why bother. If you don't do them first, they will do you. That Golden Rule stuff is old hat.
5.) Choose your friends wisely. Why bother. If you are a dirt bag, get someone worse than you to hang around with. A convicted felon or two can really take the heat off of you. The worse the better, the more the merrier.
6.) In God we trust. Why bother. Besides, the Supreme Court says not to.
7.) Confession is good for the soul. Why bother. Well, this one has a little merit. If somebody suspects you of doing something really wrong, confess a little to something minor. Diversion and slight of hand are wonderful tricks. They work in real life too.
8.) Don't follow the crowd. Why bother. You don't want anybody to think you are capable of independent thought do you? Join the group, right or wrong, a lot good can be said about the mob mentality.
9.) A job worth doing is worth doing well. Why bother. Just get hurt committing an act of crime and sue someone.
10.) Avoid the use of tobacco. Why bother. Sometimes you can get creative, then sue the industry later. Best of both worlds. Don't worry about the health concerns, toxic shock is overstated, a highly alkali substance placed in contact with sensitive body parts has to feel good. Besides, it's all in the name of fun right?
It' all about making things safer for the children. Correct messages convey the correct training. Be safe, don't get caught. If you do get caught, don't worry, nothing will happen to you. Someone can always take the blame for your actions.
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A free people ought not only to be armed but disciplined;
George Washington Jan 8,1790--There can be no doubt about the Second Amendment.
The past week has offered two splendid examples of how to conduct yourselves in today's society. The impeachment trial and the NYC lawsuits.
1.) Safe sex. Why bother. The Independent Counsel's report of the sexual encounters of the people involved were so complete in their every detail, it is thereby evident that no protection of any sort is needed to have sexual contact with another person. Ignore your partners past reputation for multiple sexual partners, whether true or not. All this hype about communicable disease is overstated.
2.) The truth shall set you free. Why bother. A good lie can do the same thing, if you can stick to it. If you can't get by with a lie, then just answer a question with a question. When all else fails, just say "I'm sorry" whether you mean I'm sorry for what I did, or I'm sorry I got caught, or just simply I'm sorry, but I don't give a crap. The important thing is to say, " I'm sorry".
3.) Act responsibly. Why bother. Somebody else can always cover things up for you. If they can't, refer to point 2.
4.) Do unto others etc... Why bother. If you don't do them first, they will do you. That Golden Rule stuff is old hat.
5.) Choose your friends wisely. Why bother. If you are a dirt bag, get someone worse than you to hang around with. A convicted felon or two can really take the heat off of you. The worse the better, the more the merrier.
6.) In God we trust. Why bother. Besides, the Supreme Court says not to.
7.) Confession is good for the soul. Why bother. Well, this one has a little merit. If somebody suspects you of doing something really wrong, confess a little to something minor. Diversion and slight of hand are wonderful tricks. They work in real life too.
8.) Don't follow the crowd. Why bother. You don't want anybody to think you are capable of independent thought do you? Join the group, right or wrong, a lot good can be said about the mob mentality.
9.) A job worth doing is worth doing well. Why bother. Just get hurt committing an act of crime and sue someone.
10.) Avoid the use of tobacco. Why bother. Sometimes you can get creative, then sue the industry later. Best of both worlds. Don't worry about the health concerns, toxic shock is overstated, a highly alkali substance placed in contact with sensitive body parts has to feel good. Besides, it's all in the name of fun right?
It' all about making things safer for the children. Correct messages convey the correct training. Be safe, don't get caught. If you do get caught, don't worry, nothing will happen to you. Someone can always take the blame for your actions.
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A free people ought not only to be armed but disciplined;
George Washington Jan 8,1790--There can be no doubt about the Second Amendment.