(Laugh Alert) But he’s Jewish!

Oatka

New member
You gotta love Jewish humor.

http://www.jewishworldreview.com/cols/crosby.html

Greg Crosby

But he’s Jewish!

I BARELY had a chance to get down my first swallow of coffee early Monday morning when the phone rang. It was my sister.

Sister : “Hey! Did you hear? We might have a Jewish Vice President!”

Me : “Uh, well, yeah, I heard that Gore will be choosing Joe Lieberman for his running mate.”

Sister : “So, aren’t you excited? That means we might have a Jewish President!”

Me : “Wait a minute. Slow down. You’ve gone from Vice President to President in two seconds -- Al Gore is still the Democratic candidate running for President, remember?”

Sister : “Yeah, but the Jewish guy ... uh, what’s his name?”

Me : “Joseph Lieberman.”

Sister : “Yeah, him. He would be President if something happens to Gore, right?”

Me : “Look, I’m voting for Bush. Do you want Gore? Do you want to see him become President?”

Sister : “Well, no ... but ... shouldn’t we vote for the Jewish guy? I mean, what should we do? He’s JEWISH!”

About an hour later we got a call from my wife’s sister in Brooklyn. She was euphoric over the big news. “Joe Lieberman! It’s fantastic! Just think --- we might have a Jewish President.”

Before this morning, she was unsure of who to vote for, or if she would even vote at all. A lifelong Democrat, she certainly wouldn’t vote for Bush, and she really couldn’t stand Gore either. But that was yesterday. That was before Moses came down from the mountain called Capital Hill. Now she’s voting for Jewish Joe. My whole family was going nuts.

“He’s JEWISH!! JEWISH!!” All day long I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from otherwise normal, rational Jews. It was so bizarre. It reminded me of the scene in the original Frankenstein movie when Colin Clive yells, “He’s ALIVE! ALIVE!!” after seeing the monster move his little finger.

Ever on the ball, the media immediately went out to Jewish neighborhoods to get the “Jewish reaction.” Sticking microphones in the faces of eighty-five year old Jewish people in the Fairfax area of Los Angeles they posed the hard-hitting question, “How do you feel about Joseph Lieberman, an Orthodox Jew, being chosen as the running mate to Vice President Gore?”

What did they expect these people to say, “I’m against it?”

Yes, the consensus is in -- many Jewish people are happy to see one of their own on a Presidential ticket --- whether they agree with his politics or not -- or whether they even know who he is or not. All they know is that he’s Jewish, and that’s enough. It’s called “tribal voting,” a form of “group think.” As it is, for many Democratic Jews, voting Republican has been akin to converting to Christianity. The Lieberman factor has only intensified this feeling.

Later that day I spoke with my mother.

Mother : “So, we’re going to have a Jewish man in the White House. Isn’t that nice?”

Me : “Ma, have you ever heard of Joseph Lieberman?”

Silence.

Me : “Ma?

Mother : “Yeah?”

Me : “How much do you know about Joseph Lieberman?” Mother : “Well ... he’s Jewish, no? Everyone on television is saying he’s Jewish.” Me : “Yes, he’s Jewish. So what? Meyer Lansky was Jewish, too. What does that mean?”

Mother : “Can you imagine? A Jewish President!”

Me : “Ma, he’s not running for President. Al Gore is running for President and I’m voting for Bush.”

Mother : “Oh. So, you’re not voting Jewish?”

My mother was actually trying to make me feel guilty for not voting for the nice Jewish man. Oy vey -- it’s going to be a long, hard campaign!

JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. You may contact him by clicking
bljolkov@jewishworldreview.com?subject=Greg's column

© 2000, Greg Crosby

-- 30 --

For you puppies out there, Meyer Lansky was called the Mastermind of the Mafia, and was one tough little guy. The character Hyman Roth in The Godfather II was based on him. http://www.crimelibrary.com/gangsters/meyer/main.htm
 
Most Jews I know around here are strong conservatives and despise Lieberman as a traitor to thier culture.

------------------
I twist the facts until they tell the truth. -Some intellectual sadist

The Bill of Rights is a document of brilliance, a document of wisdom, and it is the ultimate law, spoken or not, for the very concept of a society that holds liberty above the desire for ever greater power. -Me
 
Here the division is entirely along the lines of national origin. Jews from Eastern Europe and other foreign countries, immigrants, refugeees are pulling for Bush. Jews native to the United States are mostly supporting Gore. It is sad to see how much more conservative the newcomers are.
Personally, the only thing I do not find objectionable about Lieberman is his religion. Everything else on his record makes me wonder if Nuremberg trials were held too early...
Then there's my grandmother who lives in Germany. She's not up on Lieberman but thinks Gore would be good "because he is a democratic leader". Apparently she feels that only one party here wants democracy (don't think she's figured out "constitutional republic" concept) and the others do not. Sigh...

------------------
Oleg "peacemonger" Volk

http://dd-b.net/RKBA
 
Back
Top