Lapses in reasoning skills

C

Coinneach

Staff Alumnus
Actually, I'm just the opposite. I can talk to machines and animals, but humans baffle me. :)

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"If your determination is fixed, I do not counsel you to despair. Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance."
-- Samuel Johnson
 
I started a thread in the reloading
forum with some questions I had about
fine tuning my new progressive press.

The several responses were all on target
and quite helpful.

It struck me that whenever I have a problem
with machinery my ability to reason goes
out the window. My aversion to dealing
with anything inanimate is such that I
give it "power" to befuddle, bamboozle,
and otherwise make my life miserable.
I don't know how else to describe the
phenomenon.

With human or animal (living) dealings, I
do fine. Probably because I can communicate
with them on some level. If that "object"
is acting obstinate all bets are off.

Does anyone else have the same experience?

It is certainly humbling when the fix for
some mechanical glitch turns out to be
obvious. The problem is, I am never the
one who discovers the obvious.
 
Sport... things could be worse, for example consider the flip side of the coin. :)

YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF...
------------------------------
The only jokes you've herd were delivered by e-mail

At Christmas, it goes without saying that you
will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in
the string

Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending
the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma

Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck
peering at the scenery, and you are still on a
personal tour of the engine room

In college you thought Spring Break was a metal
fatigue failure

The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer
any of your questions

You are always late to meetings

You are at an air show and know how fast the
skydivers are falling

You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her
birthday

You can quote scenes from any Monty Python
movie

You can type 70 words a minute but can't read
your own handwriting

You can't write unless the paper has both
horizontal and vertical lines.

You comment to your wife that her straight hair
is nice and parallel.

You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months

You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards
in the chairs to see how they do the special effects

You have Dilbert comics displayed in your work area

You have saved the power cord from a
broken appliance

You have more friends on the Internet than in
real life

You have never bought any new underwear or
socks for yourself since you got married

You have used coat hangers and duct tape for
something other than hanging coats and taping ducts

You know what http:// actually stands for

You look forward to Christmas only to put
together the kids' toys

You own one or more white short-sleeve dress
shirts

You see a good design and still have to change
it

You spent more on your calculator than on your
wedding ring

You still own a slide rule and you know how to
work it

You think that when people around you yawn,
it's because they didn't get enough sleep

You wear black socks with white tennis shoes
(or vice versa)

You window shop at Radio Shack

You're in the back seat of your car, she's
looking wistfully at the moon, and you're
trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite

You know what the geosynchronous satellite
function is

Your checkbook always balances

Your laptop computer costs more than your car

Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do
at work

Your wrist watch has more computing power than
a 300Mhz Pentium

You've already calculated how much you make per
second

You've tried to repair a $5 radio






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"Lead, follow or get the HELL out of the way."
 
Coineach,


Oh, I talk to the machines too!!

That's how I improve my four-letter
language skills.

Problem is, they don't/won't talk back.
they just sit there and SMIRK!


Sport

[This message has been edited by Sport (edited March 01, 2000).]
 
Sport - As the always proud and occasionally flummoxed owner of a 1957 MGA, I have done my fair share of ordering, beseeching, coaxing and cursing of many things mechanical.

What generally works for me is a minor blood sacrifice.

This sacrifice is always inadvertently and unintentionally offered - usually in the form of a skinned knuckle, small cut, or other minor abrasion.

The uttering of bonding chants such as "Fudge!" or "Oh! Gosh darn it, now!" as your corpuscles seep onto the offending metal part serve to enhance the experience.

Works for me.

I'd also like to say that I'm kidding. At least, I THINK I am. :)

Cliff


------------------
"Giving money and power to government is like
giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
-P.J. O'Rourke
 
I find that the complexity of the final fix is generally inversely proportional to the amount of aggravation experienced finding the fault.

DorGunR - I scored a 15 out of 36 on your "You might be an engineer if..." Wonder if that means anything?

More on engineers -

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
********************************
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
********************************
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company
contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.

The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark $1
Knowing where to put it $49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
***********************************
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
***********************************
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
*************************************
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else could run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
***************************************
"Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."
----- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
*************************************
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

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"...and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
Luke 22:36
"An armed society is a polite society."
Robert Heinlein
 
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