Ken and Joe were buried today...

A

Airborne

New member
It was a sad day here at my house as two of America's most celebrated "all types of" action heros were put to ground. They gave their plastic injection molded bodies unselfishly for the advancement of modern firearm ammunition balistic performance testing. Their sacrifice will not be forgotten.

I laid Joe's head fragment next to Ken's mangled shoulder socket in a shallow grave the dog had dug for the occasion. They looked so peaceful I almost cried. I wish everyone could have been there, as compassionate understanding is so important during these difficult times. Don't worry, I'll be OK...

All the remaining super action heros here at my house have been a little nervous. (Funerals have that affect on plastic heros) There seems to be talk that I may not be finished "testing" yet. It's like their reading my mind...!

Great replies on the "test" thread! I've really enjoyed the laughs!
biggrin.gif


May all your targets land back in the yard,
SM



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"When evil wins in the world, it is only by the default of the good. That is why one man of reason and moral stature is more important actually and potentially, than a million fools". -Ayn Rand
 
My sincere and heartfelt condolences on your loss.
Try to remember all the good times that you had together.
All of us here at TFL will be here for you in your time of sorrow.
Be strong...

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...defend the 2nd., it protects us all.
No fate but what we make...
 
Archeologists of the future will puzzle over the cultural implications of the find and newspapers and talk show hosts will argue endlessly over its signficance.

Historians will debate the significance of the burial of two managled male figurines.

Sociologists will declare it to be symbolic of societal dysfunctionalism.

Finally, they will be displayed in a vitrine of a climate control Museum of Anthropology.

Airborne, you're stirring up a lot of future sh-t!
 
You have too much free time. Get a second job, or a first one. Or mayby a nice healthy hobby like basket weaving.
 
I'm thinkin, a Viking type fuuneral would have been more appropriate.

Or at least a tourch light funneral with some German marching band music for a background effects...
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They gave their lives so valiantly for the cause. I hope someone played "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes for them. That's what I want when I go out.

Halffast

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"I say that big talk is worth doodly-squat." Granny Hawkins from the Outlaw Josey Wales
 
I just read this on CNN, it seems that Barbie has filed a 50 million dollar wrongful death suit against Airborne. She is claming that Airborne "directly caused Ken's death" and also that her and Ken were common-law married and she is entitled to his estate and the Malibu beach house. Stay tuned for more details.

[This message has been edited by mjsarge (edited April 21, 2000).]
 
This also just in....at a press conference today the D.O.D. was asked to comment on the passing of G.I. Joe, real american hero. Top-ranking D.O.D. officials disavowed all knowledge of Joe, claiming he was never enlisted in the military, and that they would be making no further comments on the subject. Damn military people, after all Joe did for us this is how they treat him. We'll miss you Joe.
 
(taps playing in the background)
We gather here to mourn a Real American Hero (tm). G. I. Joe gave his life for the advancement of ballistic research, and for that he shall not be forgotten.



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Formerly Puddle Pirate.
Teach a kid to shoot.
It annoys the antis.
 
I hope that wasn't one of the original large size GI Joe's - I wish I still had my "Eagle Eye" GI Joe with Kung Fu grip.... I could sell it and buy another Makarov! -- Not to mention my Planet of the Apes lunchbox... Oh well....You wouldn't believe what some of that old crap is going for in antique stores now.
 
A peripherally-related story, speaking of burials:

I was living in the Hollywood Hills (LA) on a canyon, in a house that was essentially identical to the one next door (same builder). I had seen my neighbor out front washing his Corvette occasionally, and exchanged hellos. He seemed a bit strange, whatever that means. Live long enough, and you can tell. At night, cars came and went from the house at all hours...including Ferraris and limos.

One night, I was asleep at about 3am, when I was awakend by a tremendous racket... something thrashing around in the underbrush on the hillside below. I grabbed my HiPower and a flashlight, and went on the balcony. Searching the darkness, I couldn't see a thing, and the noise stopped. Back to bed. A few minutes later,it started again, and when I went on the balcony, my neighbor was on his, searching with one of those million candlepower "arclights". Never saw anything, though.

The next day, I saw him in front, and walked over to chat. I asked "Did you ever see anything?" He replied, stonefaced "Nope. But if I had, I was ready. You know, I own a gunstore in Las Vegas. I have machineguns, crossbows, silencers... everything. If you find someone on your property, you don't call the police. You shoot them, drag them into your garage, and then throw them in your pickup, and take 'em to the desert and dump 'em."

"Oh", was all I could think of, and then ---SWEAR to God--- I said "Well, it's nice we have such a good Neighborhood Watch Program!"

He didn't laugh... just looked past me with a "1000 yard stare", so I left.

A couple years later, after I had moved, I read in the LA Times that he had been arrested for solicitation of murder. He had hired a hit man to kill a competitor, another "house of bondage" operator.

That's my best LA story.
smile.gif
 
Thank you to everyone who offered their condolences on my "loss". It has been a rainy weekend here in Upper New England, making things much more depressing. (Besides the usual gloomy political BS climate) I know that to fully recover from my grief I must learn to shoot again...and shoot I will.

As Stretch-Arm-Strong, famous Goo filled '70's action figure once said... "It is better to be stretched to your physical limits, than to have your whole world shattered by a single 230 Grain Hydra-shok at close range." (I think it was him anyway)

What would make me the happiest right now is a nice fat rubber Telle-Tubbie that I could hang from a tree and shoot "again...& again"! Or maybe Stretch would like a 3" Magnum 12 Ga. slug to chew on. Yeah, that's it.... (Recovery has begun!) Oh yeah, wrong forum.

Anyway, thanks again everyone. It's nice to find so many people who "understand"...
wink.gif

SM
 
I am shocked no one has suggested hanging that fat a**ed purple dinosaur looking thing from a tree and putting a few slugs through it.
smile.gif


"I love you....you love..BANG BANG BANG!"
(the sound byte of this very thing is classic")
 
While working the range at Schofield Barracks, Hawaii, we would have an occasional visit from our favorite shooter...nice guy, 6'4" 275, huge lumberjack beard, and a Santa bag full of stuffed animals.

And watermelons.

And pineapples.

He would strew the stuffed animals around, mix in some fruit for variety, and commence to blasting.

Desert Eagle .50 AE and a few 12g. shotguns...no popguns. I didn't know stuffed animals could be blown into dust...

We loved to see his truck pull up, because it sure wouldn't be a dull afternoon!


Alex

[This message has been edited by wakal (edited April 24, 2000).]
 
My daughter (just turned three) is of the same mind as us.

She recentlty held a "Gladiator" match. Her 6" soft plastic Tinki Winki (the vile purple Tele Tubby - for those who are child less) vs. Lucy, our 95 lb Rottweiler.

She giggled with joy as Lucy ripped Tinki's gay little head off his fat gay body. No offense meant to the "alternative lifestyle" members...

I have big, big plans for her...

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Dan

Si vis pacem para bellum!

Check me out at:
<A HREF="http://www.mindspring.com/~susdan/interest.htm" TARGET=_blank>

www.mindspring.com/~susdan/interest.htm</A>
www.mindspring.com/~susdan/GlocksnGoodies.htm
 
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