I was at first very upset to hear about the death of Joe. I was so full of emotions. He was after all "A real American Hero." I just couldn't believe it. Why Joe? Why like this? Why was that girly doll Ken there? So many questions left unanswered. I decided To find the answers to these questions myself. The results of my exhaustive search will both appall and enrage you. It all started back in the 70's. Ken and Joe Met at a party at Barbie's Malibu beach house. At first Joe didn't think much of Ken. What with his Little Izod Sweater and all. But Ken was just infatuated with G.I. Joe's kung fu grip and made it a point to get to know him. It started innocentlu enough I guess. A few beers, some idle conversation about Barbie's extreme proportions, a few laughs at all the plastic people around them. Phonies they called them. Strangely Joe found himself attracted to Ken in a way he had never for an anatomicly incorrect male plastic figure. This was the beginning of over two decades of sex, lies, and deceit! Joe was reaching a point in his life where he was just sick of all the violence. That pinko Ken knew this and sucked Joe into his world of anti gunners. Hard to believe that a guy like Joe could fall into such a trap but he did. They would secretly meet in disguise at anti gun rallies, hold hands, and think pure thoughts. Ken just kept filling Joe's empty plastic head with all this anti gun retoric that he became numb to the truth. Eventually though Joe began to see through Ken. He started to ask questions like, "Don't you think it's the decaying moralcy of society that is to blame and not the guns? Ken would just laugh and change the subject, mostly because he didn't have a clue about the rhetoric he was spewing as is the case with most anti gunners. It all came to a head in early April of this year. Joe had finally seen the errors of his ways but was left with the dillema of coming out or trying to do what was right. It was good to have the old Joe back, even if it was short lived. Joe heard of the groundbreaking experiments Airborne was conducting using plastic action figures and knew what he had to do. He volunteered himself and Ken as well, unbeknownst to him of course. Joe told Ken that they were going to a candle party and he should wear the Izod. Ken loved it when Joe would pick his clothes for him so he eagerly agreed. Luckily, Airborne's experimental laboratory is cleverly disguised as a rake shed so Ken had no idea what was about to happen. Before he knew it, Airborne snatched (not a word Ken was very fond of) up Ken, his head popped off, and his hollow plastic body filled with "jello". Screaming like the little plastic girly doll he was, Ken found himself looking down the barrel of a loaded 45. Finally, Joe thought the nightmare will be over......
Sure, G.I. Joe ended up being G.I. Moe, but he did redeem himself in the end(no pun intended). Joe sacrificed himself for the advancement of Airborn's ballistics experimentation on plastic gellatin filled action figures and for that we should be proud. I don't think of Joe the same any more but at least that pinko Ken is gone and for that I for one am glad. I know this will be hard for some of you to deal with but if you all pull together you can form one of those gay little support groups. We all have our own little ways of dealing with grief. This was mine. That and blasting hundreds of rounds from the utility muffin research kitchen and rake shed. Ahhhh, It's good to be alive!! Well, back to the bus. :rolleyes
With regards,
fz
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Menber in good standing of the "Utility Muffin Research Kitchen And Rake Shed."
Sure, G.I. Joe ended up being G.I. Moe, but he did redeem himself in the end(no pun intended). Joe sacrificed himself for the advancement of Airborn's ballistics experimentation on plastic gellatin filled action figures and for that we should be proud. I don't think of Joe the same any more but at least that pinko Ken is gone and for that I for one am glad. I know this will be hard for some of you to deal with but if you all pull together you can form one of those gay little support groups. We all have our own little ways of dealing with grief. This was mine. That and blasting hundreds of rounds from the utility muffin research kitchen and rake shed. Ahhhh, It's good to be alive!! Well, back to the bus. :rolleyes
With regards,
fz
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Menber in good standing of the "Utility Muffin Research Kitchen And Rake Shed."