It's Amazing What One Has To Believe...To Believe In Gun Control

Oatka

New member
Some great one-liners from the FreeRepublic board.
http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a392b30b13c74.htm#1

It's Amazing What One Has To Believe...To Believe In Gun Control

That the more helpless you are, the safer you are from criminals.

That you should give a mugger your wallet, because he doesn't really want to shoot you and he'll let you go, but that you should give him your wallet, because he'll shoot you if you don't.

That Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to gun control, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is attributable to the lack of gun control.

That "NYPD Blue" and "Miami Vice" are documentaries.

That an intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .44 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

That firearms in the hands of private citizens are the gravest threat to world peace, and China, Pakistan and Korea can be trusted with nuclear weapons.

That Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is a shill who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

That ordinary people, in the presence of guns, turn into slaughtering butchers, and revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

That the New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns, just like Guns and Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

That one should consult an automotive engineer for safer seat belts, a civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for spinal paralysis, a computer programmer for Y2K problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.

That the "right of the people peaceably to assemble," the "right of the people to be secure in their homes," "enumerations herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people," "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively, and to the people," refer to individuals, but "the right of the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the states.

That the 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, allows the states to have a National Guard, created by act of Congress in 1917.

That the National Guard, paid by the federal government, occupying property leased to the federal government, using weapons owned by the federal government, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a state agency.

That private citizens can't have handguns, because they serve no militia purpose, even though the military has hundreds of thousands of them, and private citizens can't have assault rifles, because they are military weapons.

That it is reasonable for California to have a minimum 2 year sentence for possessing but not using an assault rifle, and reasonable for California to have a 6 month minimum sentence for raping a female police officer.

That it is reasonable to jail people for carrying but not using guns, but outrageous to jail people for possessing marijuana.

That minimum sentences violate civil rights, unless it's for possessing a gun.

That door-to-door searches for drugs are a gross violation of civil rights and a sign of fascism, but door-to-door searches for guns are a reasonable solution to the "gun problem."

That the first amendment absolutely allows child pornography and threats to kill cops, but doesn't apply to manuals on gun repair.

That a woman in a microskirt, perfume, and a Wonderbra, without underwear, is a helpless victim, but someone getting paid $6 an hour to deliver the cash from a fast food place to the bank at the same time every night is, "asking for it." And you won't allow either of them to carry a gun.

That Illinois' law that allows any government official from Governor to dogcatcher to carry a gun is reasonable, and the law that prohibits any private citizen, even one with 50 death threats on file and a million dollar jewelry business, is reasonable. And it isn't a sign of police statism.

That free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but self defense only justifies bare hands.

That with the above, a 90 lb woman attacked by a 300 lb rapist and his 300 lb buddy, has the "right" to kill them in self defense, provided she uses her bare hands.

That gun safety courses in school only encourage kids to commit violence, but sex education in school doesn't encourage kids to have sex.

That the ready availability of guns today, with only a few government forms, waiting periods, checks, infringements, ID, and fingerprinting, is responsible for all the school shootings, compared to the lack of school shootings in the 1950's and 1960's, which was caused by the awkward availability of guns at any hardware store, gas station, and by mail order.

That we must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time, and anyone who owns a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.

That there is too much explicit violence featuring guns on TV, and that cities can sue gun manufacturers because people aren't aware of the dangers involved with guns.

That the gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda, and the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign is responsible social activity.

That the crime rate in America is decreasing because of gun control, and the increase in crime requires more gun control.

That 100 years after its founding, the NRA got into the politics of guns from purely selfish motives, and 100 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, the black civil rights movement was founded from purely noble motives.

That statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control, and statistics that show increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."

That we don't need guns against an oppressive government, because the Constitution has internal safeguards, and we should ban and seize all guns, therefore violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments of that Constitution, thereby becoming an oppressive government.

That guns are an ineffective means of self defense for rational adults, but in the hands of an ignorant criminal become a threat to the fabric of society.

That guns are so complex to use that special training is necessary to use them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

That guns cause crime, which is why there are so many mass slayings at gun shows.

That guns aren't necessary to national defense, which is why the army only has 3 million of them.

That banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, and Chicago cops need guns.

That the Constitution protects us, so we don't need guns, and can confiscate them, thereby violating the 5th amendment of that constitution.

That women are just as intelligent and capable as men, yet a woman with a gun is "an accident waiting to happen."

That women are just as intelligent and capable as men, and gunmakers' advertisements aimed at women are "preying on their fears."

That a handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

That a majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority of the population used to support owning slaves.

That one should ignore as idiots politicians who confuse Wicca with Satanism and exaggerate the gay community as a threat to society, but listen sagely to politicians who can refer to a self- loading small arm as a "weapon of mass destruction" and an "assault weapon."

That Massachusetts is safer with bans on guns, which is why Teddy Kennedy has machinegun toting guards.

That most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by, because they can be trusted.

That a woman raped and strangled with her panties is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

That guns should be banned because of the danger involved, and live reporting from the battlefield, which can keep the enemy informed of troop deployments, getting thousands of troops killed and perhaps losing a war, is a protected act that CANNOT be compromised on.

That the right of online child pornographers to exist cannot be questioned because it is a constitutionally protected extension of the Bill of Rights, and the claim that handguns are for self defense is merely an excuse, and not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

That the ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the Constitution.

That a house with a gun is three times as likely to have a murder, just like a house with insulin is three times as likely to have a diabetic.

That police operate in groups with backup, which is why they need larger capacity magazines than civilians, who must face criminals alone, and therefore need less ammunition.

That we should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too. That guns have no legitimate use, but alcohol does, which is why we issue cops beer instead of guns.

That police and soldiers are the dregs of society who were unfit to get any real job, which perfectly qualifies them with the high moral standards and keen intellects to handle these complicated tools and be our guardians.

Copyright 1999, 2000 by Michael Z. Williamson. Permission is granted to copy in part or in total for non-profit purposes, provided due credit is given.

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The New World Order has a Third Reich odor.
 
This would have had more impact on me if I still regarded hoplophobia as rational, rather than the willful fear of an inanimate lump of metal.

It's still a jolly good read.

Steve
 
Chris, what did your wife think of the list?
I bet she's glad there was a M1911 under the pillow, than a can of oven cleaner, huh?
Glad things turned out okay for you both, -Kframe
 
Well said, Oatka.
True believers in Gun Prohibiton are usually pacifists or some stripe of totalitarian/utopian. They are only a small fraction of the population and have such deep convictions and delusions that they are hard to convert.
Most people never think out the positions that you enumerate above. They might support gun control, usually in a haphazard manner, because some type of gun can be used a an easy and, for them, safe scapegoat when facing some difficult problem. In their own minds, they can even avoid scapgoating real people and groups, which they know is wrong, by focusing on this thing. But this is shallow thinking, and yeilds to rational discourse.
This is why those who promote gun control for deeper and more irrational reasons need to strike quickly in response to some shocking incident to achieve any progress toward their goals. They are dependent upon what used to be called "Reichstag Fires", not a steady political discourse upon the nature of problems in society.
This is their great weakness and our hope. I have long felt that the Gun Prohibition gang lost the battle when they failed to achieve any meaningful legislation after the Columbine Shootings. They gave it their best shot, but failed. Since then, the American people have been dragged into a long and deep discourse on the nature of violence in our society, and Gun Control as a panacea for our problems has become more and more dubious in the eyes of the average voting American. I truely think that we were strong enough in the spring of 1999 and have grown even stronger since that time.
I even hope that this discourse, as nerve wracking as it has been for us who have always had a deeper appreciation of importance of the 2nd Amendment in producing the democratic tradition in America that we enjoy today, will act a type of social immunization from such vicious and anti-democratic attacks on our Civil Rights for a long time into the future. A lot of Americans have now thought much more deeply on this matter than they ever have before and this is to our Republic's advantage. We, as a democratic society, are stronger for it.
And let foriegn tyrants beware! We will see if their vicious policies spark their own people's immagination as brightly as the tales they hear about America! We will give these types a run for their money in their own backyards, as we always have.

[This message has been edited by Herodotus (edited May 24, 2000).]
 
If my wife had a can of over cleaner instead of the Colt, she would not have been able to defend herself, and the attacker would have that lemon fresh scent. :mad:

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"The supreme power in America cannot enforce unjust laws by the sword, becuse the whole body of the people are armed"
Noah Webster

www.2ndamdlvr.homestead.com/home.html
 
Speaking of the National Guard myth, how about this:

That members of state National Guards, who are required to swear an oath of allegience to the FEDERAL gov't when they join, are the ones for whom the second amendment was written, which has the primary purpose of protecting the citizens and states from a tyrannical federal government. Talk about a conflict of interest!!

[This message has been edited by Futo Inu (edited May 25, 2000).]
 
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