Introducing new shooters: severe anxiety/fear

K

Kimio

New member
This past weekend I went out to the range with a buddy of mine who just purchased a Springfield XDM in 9mm. He brought his wife out to the local indoor range (too cold for his wife to shoot outdoors) to familiarize her to the operation of the handgun.

This was the first time she's ever held let alone fired a handgun before, and despite my insistence on her starting off with my .22LR GSG M1911, they both decided to start with the 9mm.

His wife isn't exactly against guns, but she has a great deal of anxiety while being around them (being held at gun point at some point in her life if memory serves) several of her family members own guns, but she just wouldn't want to own one herself. My friend is also extremely new to handguns and I don't think he had her holding the pistol correctly, let alone in a good stance.

She fired a single round, panicked, placed the gun down on the bench walking away waving her hands, tears welling up in her eyes saying "no, I don't like it" and the two had to walk out into the lobby so that she could calm down.

I'm not going to judge her, she at least tried, but I feel there are several areas where things could have been different and provided a more positive experience for her.

The best I was able to offer was that if she ever changed her mind, I had my .22LR still that we could try and introduce her to firearms once again.

She said her biggest fear was that she didn't have the wrist strength to control the muzzle flip and the recoil, and the lack of control frightened her. She felt like she didn't have enough control of the gun to guarantee where it would be aiming. Much of this I attribute to poor grip and form. Watching that single shot it looked like she wasn't locking her wrists among other things.

Is there anything else you all think I could have done or could do from here on out for her? At this point, I think it's sadly a lost cause. I can bring the horse to the watering hole (offering my .22LR handgun for onteoduction) but I can't make the horse drink.
 
Is there anything else you all think I could have done or could do from here on out for her? At this point, I think it's sadly a lost cause. I can bring the horse to the watering hole (offering my .22LR handgun for onteoduction) but I can't make the horse drink.
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For starters I commend you for taking the time and making the effort to bering someone into the fold!

In this instance I would have instructed the wife without the husband present. If he is not knowledgeable and gave poor initial instruction he is more of a liability then an asset. Some people might not be comfortable with this but I find that couples learn better independently. Hate to say it but too often mens egos get in the way of their training and the training of their significant others. This does not just apply to shooting.

I agree that a 22LR can help to teach new shooters. In this instance I might have insisted. The other big tip I have is to teach them on a full sized gun. I prefer to teach new shooter on fullsized metal guns like the Sig P226/CZ75/BHP/4" revolver etc... The larger heavier gun soaks up the recoil. They are much easier to shoot then polymer guns IMHO. If length of pull is an issue then set them up in SA instead of DA on DA/SA guns. Poly guns will be lighter but they will also have more felt recoil.

When taking someone who has never shot or is "scared of guns" shooting I always start with a lot of hands on time with the gun or guns they will shoot before getting to the range. I find if someone is going to have anxiety about the gun and shooting they will experience more anxiety if you introduce them to the gun at the range. If the person is not "scared" of guns you can shorten this process quiet a bit but the premises still hold.

I stress the 4 laws of gun safety. First thing I always do! I stress not pointing the gun at anything you do not intent to shoot and then not putting your finger in the trigger area unless you are ready to shoot. I find that this is the #1 mistake new shooters make.

I unload the gun. I show them all the safety features and teach them to think of it as a tool. It is like a hammer or a knife. If you understand how it works and how to handle it you will not hurt yourself or others. If you are careless you can hurt yourself and others. Take the fear out of it. It is just a piece of metal/plastic. Nothing to be scared of. Show them how to hold it with the trigger finger outside the trigger guard then let them hold it. Them them bang it around a bit. Take the fear out of the object before you get to the range and before you have introduced ammo or firing the gun. Show them the parts and explain how it works. Show them how to load the gun with snap caps, demonstrate how to decock the gun on DA/SA or engage the safety etc....

Once they have feel for the gun in general then move on to grip. Show them a video. Have them grip the pistol and find their comfort point. Correct them as needed. Show them how with the proper grip a lot of hand strength is not necessary. You do not need a death grip to control a pistol. The talk about stance once you have gotten them to feel ok about the pistol in their hand. I always go with isosceles. No need to teach them any other stance IMHO.

Only proceed if they are comfortable. If they are still not comfortable at this point putting a loaded gun in their hand and tell them to shoot is only going to set them back.

If they are OK at that point then proceed to the range. When you get there you should not proceed directly to the firing line. Sit down with them away from the action and redo the initial handling of the gun. Remind them of the 4 rules and ask them if they are ready. If there are any objections address them and only proceed once they are comfortable.

I always let them wear electronic ear muffs so they can hear me clearly. If they have questions while shooting they can hear my responses. They can hear range commands and they do not feel like they are shooting in a vacuum. I find it really helps with an anxious shooter.

Once inside I always shoot first. Just a few rounds. This lets them see and hear what is going to happen when the trigger is pulled but they do not have to be involved. Again taking the mystery out of the gun. Remove the fear. Ask them if they have any questions. If there are none move forward. Set the target a 7 yards or less. Help them load the gun. I start with 5 rounds not a full mag. Stress the rule remind them to keep the muzzle down range and let them shoot. If at any time they stop before firing all the rounds. Help them properly bench the pistol and address any issues. The #1 key is to not force the issue. Do not pressure them into shooting more than they are comfortable with. Rinse and repeat. Correct any grip errors or stance issues as needed.

When you are done debrief the new shooter. Talk about likes and dislikes. Talk about trouble and issues they might have had!
 
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I'm with a group of instructors putting on a monthly NRA Basic Handgun class. Probably 80% to 90% of our students had never touched a real gun before. Our class enrollment runs 20% to 40% female. We have students of all ages from early 20s to us more seasoned types. We've had entire families attend together. Most of our student show varying levels of anxiety at handling real guns.

We try to address this by bringing them through the course material in a step-by-step, measured and supportive way.

In addition to the core lectures, we do a lot of "hands-on" work with the students. The students handle a variety of revolvers and semi-autos under direct supervision, one-on-one, of an instructor. They use dummy rounds to load and unload the guns, dry fire and generally learn how things work and feel, and they get continual safety reinforcement.

These initial hands-on exercises help students get familiar with handling gun and lay a foundation for safe gun handling habits. The students begin to realize that although guns can be dangerous they can learn how to handle them safely and that safety is in their hands.

Then in preparation for live fire, and after the "marksmanship" lecture, we work one-on-one with students on grip and stance using "blue" inert training guns.

Before going to live fire with .22s, the students shoot airsoft (the quality type) in the classroom so they can get a feel for sight alignment and trigger control (and reset) without the noise and intimidation factor (for beginners) of firing real ammunition.

After the students fire their 25 rounds of .22 (working one-on-one with an instructor), we put out a variety of guns from 9mm to .44 Magnum so the students can get the experience of firing the larger calibers. Shooting the centerfire guns is at each student's option. Most fire them all, but some choose not to.

When someone has gone through our program, it's not uncommon for her/him to be shooting 1.5 to 2.0 inch groups at seven yards with the heavy calibers. A few months ago, a petite young woman who had never fired any type of gun before out shot everyone, including her husband, with the .44 Magnum -- putting three rounds into about an inch at 7 yards.

Going through our process most students shed a good deal of their initial anxiety. Some remain anxious to a degree but still manage to master their anxiety and perform well. In the last several years only one or two (out of perhaps a couple of hundred) could not complete the class.
 
Having dealt with an anxious new handgun shooter before, both improperly (in my younger days) and properly, here are my thoughts:

1. Before you even decide to go the range with this person, make sure he/she really wants to try shooting a handgun. In a relaxed or quiet setting talk to them about what is involved, some of the rules, what to expect and see if they are still interested. If the person really is not interested, just doing this for the significant other, then consider passing on offering to take him/her to the range. If I'm not comfortable that the person really wants to try shooting a gun, I switch the conversation to something else other than shooting. I don't want to teach people how to shoot who really don't want to try it.

2. If the person is really interested, again, before you get to the range, let the person handle your Ruger Mark II or other .22 pistol/revolver and get them comfortable with holding, aiming, and operating it. Handling a gun shouldn't be new to them once they get to the range!!!

3. Pick an outdoor range or a quiet time to go to an indoor range - NOT 10:00 ON SATURDAY! Take your time

4. Go over the rules and etiquette again.

5. You slowly shoot the Mark II (or other .22lr) so they get to see how it works.

6. Load one .22 LR cartridge into the magazine if shooting an auto.....with someone who is nervous, I like to load only one cartridge first. New shooters tend to get distracted, drop guns, point the muzzle high or somewhere they shouldn't be pointing it and you don't really know how they are going to react. If things are good so far, then you can pretty much go from there - load a full magazine; let them have lots of trigger time, and only if they think they want to move up to a center-fire pistol, then somewhat follow their lead.
 
My 2 cents:
Since one of the biggest obstacles to a new shooter is the fear of hurting someone, using an airgun to begin is a good idea.
Start with an empty one until the safety concerns have been dealt with.
Then a loaded one to actually shoot.
Not having to do this at an actual shooting range is very helpful, too.
Then by the time they get to the range with a firearm, the new shooter should be well along being comfortable with the real thing.
 
I have no experience just an opinion. It was stated that she feared she could not control the firearm so my guess is to teach her how to handle a pistol/revolver. How to unload, how to check for an unloaded firearm, and how to do so while keeping her finger clear of the trigger. Knowing when a firearm is cleared gives one a sense of control. Another thought that comes to mind is start with a 22 rifle (more control) on a bench if possible, possible a single shot or bolt action.

In other words give her a sound sense of control first and then let her move up at the pace she feel comfortable with. I think thats what others have said already.

Oh yea, leave her husband at home, women do better with out their husbands watching.
 
She's had experience with rifles before and those are not as intimidating to her from what I've been told. She still doesn't like them however.

The husband is almost certain she'll never want to try again, but yes, next time (if there is one) if she decides she wants to try again, I'll see about if she'd like to go over the controls again with my .22LR

Do you think practicing with snap caps would be a nice means of introducing a newcomer to firearms as well?
 
Do you think practicing with snap caps would be a nice means of introducing a newcomer to firearms as well?
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Regarding anxious newcomers, anything you can do ahead of the range trip to get them to get used to handling a real gun would be helpful. That's if they really want to try shooting a gun. You really need to assess that "desire" first.

Most of us simply don't attach anything emotional to holding or shooting a gun. However, there are some people who truly believe that guns have some kind of evil, sinister, deviant life to them. I seriously dated someone like that once. When I showed her what was inside of my gun safe, she was overcome with fear. The fear was unfounded, but real nevertheless. She couldn't even bring herself to touch a firearm. It simply creeped her out. When I asked her what was wrong, she backed up and said "those guns look so evil". I closed the safe, and that was the end of that.

The last thing you want to do is to be part of coercing someone to try shooting if they have some kind of emotional repulsion to guns in general. Its no fun for them, and it will be no fun for you.
 
From my understanding, she sincerely fears guns. They make her uncomfortable, period.

My friend was the one that kind of pushed the issue in her, to which she agreed that she would need to know how it functions if they were to have it in the house.

She was however very reluctant to do so. He decided to drop the issue, after she had her panick spell post firing the weapon, but I fear irreversible damage has been done. As I said, despite my insistence that she start off with a .22LR they felt compelled to shoot the 9mm for her first foray into the handgun world.

I should add, that I didn't know her fear of guns was so acute, she was fairly hesitant just to pick one up let alone fire it. I knew she wasn't comfortable with guns for the most part, but I chalked it up to unfamiliarity, something she herself admitted that she simply didn't know much about firearms let alone handguns.

I was hoping to ease her in so that she could dispel some of her insecurities around guns, but I'm not if that's really possible anymore. Not after this unfortunately.
 
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You wrote:
She fired a single round, panicked, placed the gun down on the bench walking away waving her hands, tears welling up in her eyes saying "no, I don't like it" and the two had to walk out into the lobby so that she could calm down.
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I don't think she panicked in the sense of real emotional out-of-control panic - she had enough presence of mind to place the gun on the bench and walk, not run, away.

I agree with olddav - a single shot .22 rifle to start, even if she has some experiences with rifles. I'm just saying that because it is how I was introduced to firearms many years ago and I think the sense of knowing where the muzzle is pointed is easier with rifle.

Anyway, a number of people have given very good advice in this thread and I have no more to add, except keep the door open to her changing her mind. Some people will not allow themselves to be beaten, they'll get back on the horse that threw them until they've mastered their fear.
 
Find a buddy who has a .22lr rifle with a suppressor. Take her shooting OUTDOORS without hearing protection and give her a drink first. Then have her shoot a suppressed .22lr pistol... i promise no freaking out.

Srsly, nobody is that truly freaked out who also doesnt have some other mild issues. The inside of a dark and smelly indoor range, with uncomfortable eye and hearing protection, standing in a a stall, feeling completely awkward and out of element would trip every single "get me the hell outa here box" no matter what activity she was trying for the first time. And does anybody else think that maybe some dry-fire practice at home prior would have been a good idea?
 
Find a buddy who has a .22lr rifle with a suppressor. Take her shooting OUTDOORS without hearing protection and give her a drink first. Then have her shoot a suppressed .22lr pistol... i promise no freaking out.
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I recommend skipping the part about the drink. Alcohol and firearms are, um, not a good combination.

Unless you mean that it would be good to make sure she's well hydrated... ;)
 
Srsly, nobody is that truly freaked out who also doesnt have some other mild issues.
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She fired a single round, panicked, placed the gun down on the bench walking away waving her hands, tears welling up in her eyes saying "no, I don't like it" and the two had to walk out into the lobby so that she could calm down.
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Have you asked her if she really wants to learn to shoot a gun?

Because it sounds like she doesn't want to,,,
And this is being forced on her by the boyfriend.

You are wasting your time.

Aarond

.
 
Aarond

That's what I'm confused about honestly, talking to her, she seems like she wants to learn, but more out of obligation rather than out of any real desire.

They have a gun in the house, she wants to know how to use it in the (heaven forbib) event she'd have to use it. At the very least, she wants to learn so she can safely unload the handgun among other things in the event the hubby isn't home to do so himself.

Other than that, I don't think she wants anything to do with guns. From what I observed, it appears they just weird her out.
 
I think someone else said it earlier, but teach her how to load and unload with snap caps. Ask her perform the task repeatedly and that will give her a sense of control. As she feels more comfortable with handling the firearm she may decide to try shooting it again, but she may not. Either way she gains confidence and that has to be a good thing.
 
Other than that, I don't think she wants anything to do with guns. From what I observed, it appears they just weird her out.
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The good thing is - it's Hubby's problem, not yours anymore. You did your part, I'd say just leave it be.

Interestingly, there are people who are initially creeped out by guns, until after something takes place in their life where they see how having a gun could have been helpful. Then, the "creeped-out" sensation gives away to "I better learn how to use this to survive" instinct, and teaching is much easier.
 
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