TheBluesMan
Moderator Emeritus
The results of the 2004 election send many different messages to many different people. Here are but a few that I've intercepted recently aimed mainly at democrats.
To Michael Moore: Sit down and shut up... And do something about your hair.
To Tom Daschle: If you lean too far to the left, voters will tend to lean right for a while, but will eventually push you out of the boat.
To Al Gore: Please, sir, before it's too late... Seek an experienced mental health professional.
To Dan Rather: Enjoy your early retirement.
To the DNC: Your platform must not have leaned far enough to the left. Keep it moving leftward. Read Marx as a refresher.
To Bill Clinton: Thanks for hitting the campaign trail for Kerry. Some of us needed the reminder of what we were trying to avoid.
To Hillary Clinton: Congratulations, the guy you voted for won.
To the MTV Kidz: Vote or die - or not. Like, whatever, dude.
To John Edwards: Can you give Michael Moore some advice on grooming?
To Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, Bono, etc.: We still like your music, but if you ever want to sell another record, keep your leftist politics out of it.
To George Soros: Want to buy an election? Not in *MY* America, you monomaniacal, socialistic buffoon.
To the Mainstream Media: Congratulations on getting Kerry at least thirty more electoral votes than he would have gotten without your (c)overt support. Imagine how bad he would have lost if you were actually unbiased.
To the United Nations: Your worst nightmare will continue for another four years. Deal with it.
To the Exit Pollsters: As long as you keep skewing the results in an attempt to influence the election, we'll keep lying to you. If you quit, so will we. Deal?
To Osama bin Laden: Bring it on, @%$*&$#. What's that? The only attack you can muster now is on videotape? Hmm... No surprise there, I guess.
To the European Union: See message for Michael Moore.
To Terry McAuliffe: See message for Dan Rather
To MoveOn.org: See message for George Soros
And finally, to John Kerry: Thank you for reporting for duty. You are hereby dismissed.
To Michael Moore: Sit down and shut up... And do something about your hair.
To Tom Daschle: If you lean too far to the left, voters will tend to lean right for a while, but will eventually push you out of the boat.
To Al Gore: Please, sir, before it's too late... Seek an experienced mental health professional.
To Dan Rather: Enjoy your early retirement.
To the DNC: Your platform must not have leaned far enough to the left. Keep it moving leftward. Read Marx as a refresher.
To Bill Clinton: Thanks for hitting the campaign trail for Kerry. Some of us needed the reminder of what we were trying to avoid.
To Hillary Clinton: Congratulations, the guy you voted for won.
To the MTV Kidz: Vote or die - or not. Like, whatever, dude.
To John Edwards: Can you give Michael Moore some advice on grooming?
To Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, Bono, etc.: We still like your music, but if you ever want to sell another record, keep your leftist politics out of it.
To George Soros: Want to buy an election? Not in *MY* America, you monomaniacal, socialistic buffoon.
To the Mainstream Media: Congratulations on getting Kerry at least thirty more electoral votes than he would have gotten without your (c)overt support. Imagine how bad he would have lost if you were actually unbiased.
To the United Nations: Your worst nightmare will continue for another four years. Deal with it.
To the Exit Pollsters: As long as you keep skewing the results in an attempt to influence the election, we'll keep lying to you. If you quit, so will we. Deal?
To Osama bin Laden: Bring it on, @%$*&$#. What's that? The only attack you can muster now is on videotape? Hmm... No surprise there, I guess.
To the European Union: See message for Michael Moore.
To Terry McAuliffe: See message for Dan Rather
To MoveOn.org: See message for George Soros
And finally, to John Kerry: Thank you for reporting for duty. You are hereby dismissed.
