DISCLAIMER: I'm Christian but I also have a sense of humor....so please take this as humor. 
PS I did not write this, I received it in e-mail from a co-worker this morning.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was
without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And
the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said,
"Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree
yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said,
"There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and
let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the
air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping
thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image;
male and female did He create. And God looked upon Man and Woman and
saw that they were lean and fit.
And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the
79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with
that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure
that man found so fair.
And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds. OK,
everyone knows chocolate comes from Heaven, The Devil just added the
calories!
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil
with which to cook them."
And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through
the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those
extra pounds.
And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not
have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained
another 20 pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream
dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled
in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went
into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.
Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the
nourishing whole grain brown rice.
And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with
alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the
now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten
pounds.
And God created the life-giving tofu.
And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon
returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"
And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.
And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of
the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor. And Woman put aside the
seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food.
And God brought forth Weight-watchers. It didn't help. And God created
exercise machines with easy payments. And man brought forth his Visa at
21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod,
east of the polyester leisure suit. And in the fullness of time, Woman
received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement. It didn't
help her, either.
------------------
"Lead, follow or get the HELL out of the way."
[This message has been edited by DorGunR (edited August 04, 2000).]
PS I did not write this, I received it in e-mail from a co-worker this morning.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was
without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And
the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said,
"Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree
yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said,
"There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and
let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the
air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping
thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image;
male and female did He create. And God looked upon Man and Woman and
saw that they were lean and fit.
And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the
79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with
that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure
that man found so fair.
And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds. OK,
everyone knows chocolate comes from Heaven, The Devil just added the
calories!
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil
with which to cook them."
And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through
the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those
extra pounds.
And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not
have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained
another 20 pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream
dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled
in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went
into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.
Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the
nourishing whole grain brown rice.
And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with
alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the
now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten
pounds.
And God created the life-giving tofu.
And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon
returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"
And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.
And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of
the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor. And Woman put aside the
seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food.
And God brought forth Weight-watchers. It didn't help. And God created
exercise machines with easy payments. And man brought forth his Visa at
21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod,
east of the polyester leisure suit. And in the fullness of time, Woman
received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement. It didn't
help her, either.
------------------
"Lead, follow or get the HELL out of the way."
[This message has been edited by DorGunR (edited August 04, 2000).]
