How to watch the Democratic National Convention on TV

ds1973

New member
WARNING, some of the options involve firearms and alcohol. Please be sure all firearms are unloaded and the ammunition stored safely in a separate room. Tempers can flare while listening to the "risky schemes" proposed during this convention, and we wouldn't want anyone actually shooting the TV and having to answer to their wives. :eek:

1) Turn the volume all the way down and turn on closed captioning. This way you can read the speeches and not have to listen to the whiny voices. You also realize how idiotic the ideas are when you read them and aren't distracted by the candidates voice and audience applause.

2) Using an UNLOADED 1911, AND ALL AMMO SAFELY STORED IN ANOTHER ROOM, dry fire at the candidates and any other liberal who pisses you off.

3) Using an UNLOADED AR-15, AND ALL AMMO SAFELY STORED IN ANOTHER ROOM dry fire at the candidates and any other liberal who pisses you off. For a real touch of poetry, use a PRE-CLINTON-BAN AR-15!

4) When clinton speaks, tape a strip of paper to the bottom of your TV which says: "He Lies Under Oath". Now as you listen to what he says, do you believe him? (idea courtesy of Rush Limbaugh)

The next few steps involve liquor of your choice and this author recommends caution as you can get very hammered, very quickly.

5) Do a shot every time they go live to an info babe (female reporter) on the "floor of the convention"

6) Do two shots every time you hear the name Monica Lewinsky.

7) Do a shot and double tap (with a handgun) every time you see the reverend Al Sharpton

8) Do a shot and double tap (with a handgun) every time you see the reverend Jesse Jackson.

9) Keep count of how many different swear words you can string together in one sentence as you're yelling at some liberal spouting off about "saving the children" by taking away your rights.

10) Finally, keep reminding yourself how YOU CAN'T WAIT UNTIL ELECTION DAY SO YOU CAN VOTE AGAINST THESE SOCIALISTS!


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The first step is registration, the second step is confiscation, the final step is subjugation.

[This message has been edited by ds1973 (edited August 15, 2000).]
 
I would rather turn the channel.My blood pressure is too high normaly and drive it up more.To old too liston to that many lies in that short a time.Would it be a good time for the big quake????????????

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Bob--- Age and deceit will overcome youth and speed.
I'm old and deceitful.
 
David: LMOA!

My method: Go to garage. TV in den. Not watching TV. Put in earplugs in case TV is on and someone opens door, allowing Clinton sounds to escape from house.
 
Put 1" sheet of lexan in front of Tube and live fire with 22s and subsonic handguns.Also wear single goggle of welding rig over off eye to protect against subliminal messages, oh yeah put that tin foil in your dual busch beer can supporting hat. Just hope the wifey dont come home early. Wouldnt want to get caught watching pornography by myself in the dark, :)
 
I am so tired of seeing "well to do" politicians with their fake "soft caring" faces, telling people they don't know what is best for themselves but THEY know what is best.

LEAVE THE PEOPLE ALONE!

I hope the "Green Party" gets lots of votes. Say 10-15%
 
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