>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
>She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
>She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
>She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
>She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
>She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
>She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
>She does not GET YOU EXCITED -She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
>She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
>She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
>She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
>She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
>She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
>She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
>She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
>She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
>She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
>She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
>
>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
>He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
>FACILITY
>He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
>He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS
>He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
>He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
>RELATIONSHIPS
>He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
>He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
>INVERSION
>He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
>He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
>He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
>He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC
>MOMENT
>
>She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
>She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
>She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
>She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
>She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
>She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
>She does not GET YOU EXCITED -She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
>She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
>She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
>She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
>She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
>She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
>She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
>She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
>She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
>She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
>She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
>
>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
>He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
>FACILITY
>He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
>He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS
>He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
>He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
>RELATIONSHIPS
>He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
>He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
>INVERSION
>He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
>He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
>He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
>He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC
>MOMENT
