Here are some more helpful tips that will demonstrate how you can consistently miss a deer, brought to you by Fremmer's School of Learing the Hard Way:
1. See the deer step out onto the field from the timber; range is about 120 yards, deer standing broadside.
2. Get real excited.
3. You are sitting on the ground. The deer appears to be nibbling on a tree branch and is not looking out onto the field. Ignore your inner voice that says "be patient" and aim at the deer by resting your arms on top of your knees. Lots of wobble? Ah, just ignore it. Don't use the kneeling or squatting positions that you practiced all Summer. Those knees provide a great platform, and a little bit of wobble never hurt anyone.
4. Ignore the tree that is two feet way and that you could use as a rest for the rifle. A Rest? Who needs a stinkin' rest? Continue to ignore the wobble.
5. Remember, you gotta take the shot FAST. Don't wait at all -- not even a couple of seconds.
6. Don't pick a spot certain on the deer to shoot at. Instead, just put the crosshairs in the general vicinity of the deer's body.
7. Now you need to pull the trigger. Well, pulling is pretty slow, and remember, the deer is patiently nibbling at the tree, so you gotta shoot FAST. That squeezing the trigger stuff is way too slow. Instead, jerk at that trigger; it'll hit "somewhere." Remember, you gotta shoot FAST.
8. Well, you missed, and the deer is quickly trotting into the timber. But don't pause to see if the deer will stop! Instead, rack that bolt hard, and take another quick shot at the trotting deer. Don't forget that your shot has to be really FAST, and we know how well you do with those FAST shots.
9. You missed with the second shot; deer is now bounding into the timber.
10. Well I'll be durned! There was another deer behind a tree nearby the one you've shot at twice. It is now trotting away from the edge of the field and into the timber. But stay stubborn. Don't wait! Rack that bolt again, and, you guessed it....
11. Take another shot at the second deer, but take it as FAST as you can. Give that trigger a good jerk. Why wait to see if the second deer will stop? Hmm. You missed the third shot at the trotting deer.
12. Both deer have run into the timber. Even though you are sure that you missed all three shots, go to the areas where the deer were when you took the shots, and look for blood. No blood anywhere. Well, better make sure you didn't wound one. Start walking into the timber and looking hard. Trip over logs twice. Have eye jabbed by tree branch. Cut your thumb on something (branch?). Curse a lot. And get covered in thorny what-cha-ma-callums -- all over your jacket and pants; those will take hours to get out. Do this for about an hour and a half. Luckily, you don't find any sign of a wounded deer.
13. The fun is not over yet. Be honest with your hunting buddies when they ask you how many deer you got from all that shooting. [NOTE TO SELF: in the future, when they ask you what happened after you've missed, do NOT admit to flubbing the shots. Instead, blame the gun, the ammo, and/or the scope.]
14. Enjoy your new nickname: "Mr. Sharpshooter." Even better, enjoy it when one of your hunting buddies informs the Secretaries in your office about your shooting skills; don't be surprised when you hear a voice over the intercom that says "Mr. Sharpshooter, you have a call on line one." [and you -- and everyone else -- will also get to hear the sound of the other secretaries laughing in the backgound]. And yea, that one IS going to stick. At least until you actually manage to screw up by being a little bit patient and making a good shot the next time.
1. See the deer step out onto the field from the timber; range is about 120 yards, deer standing broadside.
2. Get real excited.
3. You are sitting on the ground. The deer appears to be nibbling on a tree branch and is not looking out onto the field. Ignore your inner voice that says "be patient" and aim at the deer by resting your arms on top of your knees. Lots of wobble? Ah, just ignore it. Don't use the kneeling or squatting positions that you practiced all Summer. Those knees provide a great platform, and a little bit of wobble never hurt anyone.
4. Ignore the tree that is two feet way and that you could use as a rest for the rifle. A Rest? Who needs a stinkin' rest? Continue to ignore the wobble.
5. Remember, you gotta take the shot FAST. Don't wait at all -- not even a couple of seconds.
6. Don't pick a spot certain on the deer to shoot at. Instead, just put the crosshairs in the general vicinity of the deer's body.
7. Now you need to pull the trigger. Well, pulling is pretty slow, and remember, the deer is patiently nibbling at the tree, so you gotta shoot FAST. That squeezing the trigger stuff is way too slow. Instead, jerk at that trigger; it'll hit "somewhere." Remember, you gotta shoot FAST.
8. Well, you missed, and the deer is quickly trotting into the timber. But don't pause to see if the deer will stop! Instead, rack that bolt hard, and take another quick shot at the trotting deer. Don't forget that your shot has to be really FAST, and we know how well you do with those FAST shots.
9. You missed with the second shot; deer is now bounding into the timber.
10. Well I'll be durned! There was another deer behind a tree nearby the one you've shot at twice. It is now trotting away from the edge of the field and into the timber. But stay stubborn. Don't wait! Rack that bolt again, and, you guessed it....
11. Take another shot at the second deer, but take it as FAST as you can. Give that trigger a good jerk. Why wait to see if the second deer will stop? Hmm. You missed the third shot at the trotting deer.
12. Both deer have run into the timber. Even though you are sure that you missed all three shots, go to the areas where the deer were when you took the shots, and look for blood. No blood anywhere. Well, better make sure you didn't wound one. Start walking into the timber and looking hard. Trip over logs twice. Have eye jabbed by tree branch. Cut your thumb on something (branch?). Curse a lot. And get covered in thorny what-cha-ma-callums -- all over your jacket and pants; those will take hours to get out. Do this for about an hour and a half. Luckily, you don't find any sign of a wounded deer.
13. The fun is not over yet. Be honest with your hunting buddies when they ask you how many deer you got from all that shooting. [NOTE TO SELF: in the future, when they ask you what happened after you've missed, do NOT admit to flubbing the shots. Instead, blame the gun, the ammo, and/or the scope.]
14. Enjoy your new nickname: "Mr. Sharpshooter." Even better, enjoy it when one of your hunting buddies informs the Secretaries in your office about your shooting skills; don't be surprised when you hear a voice over the intercom that says "Mr. Sharpshooter, you have a call on line one." [and you -- and everyone else -- will also get to hear the sound of the other secretaries laughing in the backgound]. And yea, that one IS going to stick. At least until you actually manage to screw up by being a little bit patient and making a good shot the next time.