I have a dear g-friend that has a 2 acre "lake" in her back yard.
It's teeming with bass, huge bluegills, and as I learned, quite a few snapping turtles.
'Natch I remembered being a kid watching my dad & uncles dress a large snapper which they later turned into turtle soup. I had to try it myself.
So...... I set some turtle lines & caught two that were about 15 pounds each.
Turtle have very hard shells & the toughest skin ever found on the planet.
Here is how to properly dress a live snapper.
Two Methods.
Method one: Always prepare for the event properly. It's not at all like prepping a rabbit or squirrel.
Gather necessary tools prior to attempting to dress a snapping turtle.
It's recommended the critter be at least 15 pounds.
One that size or larger is capable of removing a nice sized "V" of your flesh & or removing a digit quickly & cleanly.
Have the phone number for the local E.M.T. squad handy & call the nearest
hospital to advise them of your allergies to medicines & your blood type.
You will need:
Sawzall, circular saw with new rip blade, hammer & chisle, axe, sharp knives or better still several surgical scalpels, a pry bar.
A mil surp steel helmet to simulate the turtle. ( for practice )
Emergency medical supplies, gauge pads, antiseptic, a tornequet is a good idea.
Copy of an anatomy of a turtle. Turtles have joints like nothing else.
Rifle.
Large bottle of whiskey.
This is a two person endevor so call your friend named Bubba that you aren't too fond of anyway.
If Bubba has said " Hey fellers, watch this! " & survived he's perfect.
A snapping turtle stinks when freshly caught so it's best to have Bubba with you when you catch the beast.
Let Bubba carry the live turtle.
Put turtle in large container of fresh water you change at least 2 X daily for 3 days.
It's always better to have Bubba hold the turtle while you change the water.
After 3 days most of the stink will be gone. The turtle will stink less also.
Don't pay any attention to "Bubba" U Tube videos showing how to decapitate a live turtle.
That's a great way to loose fingers.
That's only o.k. if Bubba volunteers to whack off the turtles head.
Shoot the beast in the brain with the rifle.
A .22 will work unless the beast is very large.
In such a case a .308 is prefered.
Be careful of your backstop as you will need Bubba for this entire operation.
Once the turtle has been brained with a bullet have Bubba pull it's head out straight while you use the axe to decapitate the thing as the neck bone is quite thick & hard.
If you break the axe head the sawzall or circular saw will come in handy.
Hang the turtle neck down & allow to bleed out.
Make a cut with the curcular saw where the bottom shell joins the top shell.
Be mindful of Bubba's fingers please.
The turtle will move vigorously every time you touch the thing.
This is where you will appreciate practicing the ordeal using the steel military helmet while Bubba jerks & moves it to imitate a turtle with no head.
Be mindful of the turtles 4 feet as they are equipped with 5 one inch long claws that are needle sharp.
Bubba will put his fingers in the decapitated turtles mouth.
You will understand why that's a bad idea when the screaming and crying dies down.
The hammer & chisle will come into play removing the "dead" turtles jaws from Bubba's body parts.
Remove the bottom shell first thus exposed the turtle innerds.
This is when bubba will begin wretching up his breakfast.
You will also.
Once the bottom shell is removed with the aid of a pry bar & the innerds fall out onto your crotch, you can remove the 4 delicious legs, the neck & tail.
Be sure to remove every bit of turtle skin. (remember the stink?)
Turtle skin is quite tough & requires utmost care not to slice off a finger.
Bubba won't like that at all.
Some people save the skin to make bullet resistant clothing.
Once all the meat has been remove place it in a bowl of cold water to soak over night or 3 months if prefered.
Now the whiskey. It's time to bind up the wounds, pour a glass of whiskey and relax.
You've earned it.
Method two:
Having layed out all the tools and taken all the precautions pour you & Bubba a glass of whiskey.
Drink same.
Now put the live turtle in the nieghbors swimming pool and watch the kids shreek with unbridled terror.
It's teeming with bass, huge bluegills, and as I learned, quite a few snapping turtles.
'Natch I remembered being a kid watching my dad & uncles dress a large snapper which they later turned into turtle soup. I had to try it myself.
So...... I set some turtle lines & caught two that were about 15 pounds each.
Turtle have very hard shells & the toughest skin ever found on the planet.
Here is how to properly dress a live snapper.
Two Methods.
Method one: Always prepare for the event properly. It's not at all like prepping a rabbit or squirrel.
Gather necessary tools prior to attempting to dress a snapping turtle.
It's recommended the critter be at least 15 pounds.
One that size or larger is capable of removing a nice sized "V" of your flesh & or removing a digit quickly & cleanly.
Have the phone number for the local E.M.T. squad handy & call the nearest
hospital to advise them of your allergies to medicines & your blood type.
You will need:
Sawzall, circular saw with new rip blade, hammer & chisle, axe, sharp knives or better still several surgical scalpels, a pry bar.
A mil surp steel helmet to simulate the turtle. ( for practice )
Emergency medical supplies, gauge pads, antiseptic, a tornequet is a good idea.
Copy of an anatomy of a turtle. Turtles have joints like nothing else.
Rifle.
Large bottle of whiskey.
This is a two person endevor so call your friend named Bubba that you aren't too fond of anyway.
If Bubba has said " Hey fellers, watch this! " & survived he's perfect.
A snapping turtle stinks when freshly caught so it's best to have Bubba with you when you catch the beast.
Let Bubba carry the live turtle.
Put turtle in large container of fresh water you change at least 2 X daily for 3 days.
It's always better to have Bubba hold the turtle while you change the water.
After 3 days most of the stink will be gone. The turtle will stink less also.
Don't pay any attention to "Bubba" U Tube videos showing how to decapitate a live turtle.
That's a great way to loose fingers.
That's only o.k. if Bubba volunteers to whack off the turtles head.
Shoot the beast in the brain with the rifle.
A .22 will work unless the beast is very large.
In such a case a .308 is prefered.
Be careful of your backstop as you will need Bubba for this entire operation.
Once the turtle has been brained with a bullet have Bubba pull it's head out straight while you use the axe to decapitate the thing as the neck bone is quite thick & hard.
If you break the axe head the sawzall or circular saw will come in handy.
Hang the turtle neck down & allow to bleed out.
Make a cut with the curcular saw where the bottom shell joins the top shell.
Be mindful of Bubba's fingers please.
The turtle will move vigorously every time you touch the thing.
This is where you will appreciate practicing the ordeal using the steel military helmet while Bubba jerks & moves it to imitate a turtle with no head.
Be mindful of the turtles 4 feet as they are equipped with 5 one inch long claws that are needle sharp.
Bubba will put his fingers in the decapitated turtles mouth.
You will understand why that's a bad idea when the screaming and crying dies down.
The hammer & chisle will come into play removing the "dead" turtles jaws from Bubba's body parts.
Remove the bottom shell first thus exposed the turtle innerds.
This is when bubba will begin wretching up his breakfast.
You will also.
Once the bottom shell is removed with the aid of a pry bar & the innerds fall out onto your crotch, you can remove the 4 delicious legs, the neck & tail.
Be sure to remove every bit of turtle skin. (remember the stink?)
Turtle skin is quite tough & requires utmost care not to slice off a finger.
Bubba won't like that at all.
Some people save the skin to make bullet resistant clothing.
Once all the meat has been remove place it in a bowl of cold water to soak over night or 3 months if prefered.
Now the whiskey. It's time to bind up the wounds, pour a glass of whiskey and relax.
You've earned it.
Method two:
Having layed out all the tools and taken all the precautions pour you & Bubba a glass of whiskey.
Drink same.
Now put the live turtle in the nieghbors swimming pool and watch the kids shreek with unbridled terror.
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