If this is old, please forgive me, I just got it this morning and I am still laughing! If you can add some more to it please do. Enjoy!
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Subject: FW: How to be a Good Democrat/Liberal
>
>
>
> > 1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
> > funding.
> >
> > 2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders
> > to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
> >
> > 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are
> > more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
> > Chinese Communists.
> >
> > 4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
> >
> > 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
> > cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by
> > yuppies driving SUV's.
> >
> > 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
> > homosexual is natural.
> >
> > 7. You have to be against capital punishment, but in favor of abortion
on
> > demand.
> >
> > 8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
> > create prosperity.
> >
> > 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
> > activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.
> >
> > 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important that actually
> > doing something to earn it.
> >
> > 11. You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians,
start
> > wars.
> >
> > 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
> > of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
> > parts of the Constitution.
> >
> > 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.
> >
> > 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
> > important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E.
> > Lee, or Thomas Edison.
> >
> > 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
> > quotas and set-asides aren't.
> >
> > 16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
> >
> > 17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
> > anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
> > charge.
> >
> > 18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,
> > but a liar and sex-offender belong in the White House.
> >
> > 19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
> > transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
> > manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
> >
> > 20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic funding by the Chinese
> > Communists is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
> >
-
Subject: FW: How to be a Good Democrat/Liberal
>
>
>
> > 1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
> > funding.
> >
> > 2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders
> > to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
> >
> > 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are
> > more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
> > Chinese Communists.
> >
> > 4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
> >
> > 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
> > cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by
> > yuppies driving SUV's.
> >
> > 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
> > homosexual is natural.
> >
> > 7. You have to be against capital punishment, but in favor of abortion
on
> > demand.
> >
> > 8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
> > create prosperity.
> >
> > 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
> > activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.
> >
> > 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important that actually
> > doing something to earn it.
> >
> > 11. You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians,
start
> > wars.
> >
> > 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
> > of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
> > parts of the Constitution.
> >
> > 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.
> >
> > 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
> > important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E.
> > Lee, or Thomas Edison.
> >
> > 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
> > quotas and set-asides aren't.
> >
> > 16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
> >
> > 17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
> > anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
> > charge.
> >
> > 18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,
> > but a liar and sex-offender belong in the White House.
> >
> > 19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
> > transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
> > manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
> >
> > 20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic funding by the Chinese
> > Communists is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
> >