I use the MEC loaders - not the Hornady - but I called a buddy ...and he says he doesn't really have an issue with those washers / seals ....but he keeps a few on hand to replace them as needed / or once a year or so ...and he reloads about 500 boxes a year ( or about 12,500 shells ).
If you're tearing up those seals more often than that - I'd suggest you give Hornady a call - and see if they have a recommendation --- but I suspect its a burr or something wearing that is causing those seals/washers to start chafing and then hang things up.
I replace the seals on the shot side of my MEC charge bars too about once a year or so / or whenever they start looking real nasty / and I just buy a bag of them ( I think they come 10 to a bag and one of my buddies and I share them ) ... and I put at least 500 boxes a year thru each of my loaders / maybe more on the 20ga and 28ga loaders ...and I just replace them once in a while / no big deal - at least on the MEC 9000 HN's ....
My buddy likes his Hornady shotshell loader ...so don't give up on it ...