A> If you have a pistol that will only feed FMJs reliably, then EFMJ is going to be more likely to work for you than JHPs. Or, perhaps look at Corbon's Pow'rBall.
B> If you happen to be in New Jersey, then EFMJ is legal where JHPs aren't.
Other than that, let your gun be the guide. EFMJs do work well, but then again so do modern JHPs. I happen to carry Gold Dot JHPs, but I wouldn't have any big problem carrying EFMJs if I were able to test them in my handgun for reliability.
One thing to keep in mind about EFMJs is that they have no problems with clothing fibers clogging their cavity, preventing expansion. They expand due to crushing as opposed to hydrostatics within the HP cavity. Thus, they may be even more reliable on the terminal end than JHPs.
Also does anyone know if they are allowed in the military, or do they ban all expanding ammunition.
No, they aren't allowed for military use when engaging other enemy conventional military forces. This is spelled out in the Hague Conventions. No ammo that is specifically designed to expand*. But there are cases where military forces are allowed to use expanding ammo -- for internal security (like MPs) or when engaging forces not protected by international conventions (such as terrorists). In any case, the individual soldier has no say-so in this matter. You are issued what you are issued, and you use that and nothing else.
*Even that has grey areas. If a FMJ rifle bullet yaws and then breaks apart at the cannelure, then it is possible for both halves to expand and produce extreme tissue damage and yet this is still allowed under the conventions. More than 1 rifle round in use by the world's militaries (including ours) are designed to do that, BTW. Unbalanced FMJ rifle rounds that promote yaw without cannelure fracture also cause catastrophic damage and are also allowed.