You say your wedge loosens from just "messing around" with it. What do you mean by "messing around?"
Please elaborate as it may shed some light on your problem.
Is your revolver brass-framed? Brass-framed revolvers tend not to be built nearly as well as steel-framed guns. Often, their finishing is rougher and the parts are not as well finished. The Confederacy made brass-framed guns out of necessity, because it lacked the resources and materials to make steel-framed revolvers.
If your revolver is brass-framed, then this might explain the quality problem.
Is the wedge truly tapped in all the way? Or did you just push it in finger-tight? Wedges must be in tighter than fingers can push them.
Try this test, using a nylon-faced hammer, large block of wood or steel hammer with a layer of leather glued to its face:
A. Ensure the front (face) of the cylinder and the rear of the barrel where the cylinder meets it (forcing cone) are very clean. There must be no crud to make the cylinder drag.
B. Tap in the wedge gently while rotating the cylinder. Once the cylinder begins to drag, because it is being forced against the rear of the barrel, stop!
C. Now, gently tap the wedge OUT with just a couple of light taps, while turning the cylinder. Once the cylinder turns free, STOP! This is the "sweet spot" on Colt-design revolvers. The wedge must never be so loose that you can remove it by pushing with your fingers, or accuracy suffers.
If you cannot get your revolver to tighten, then there are options:
1. Reduce the width of the wedge so it goes in deeper.
2. Increase the width of the slot in the cylinder pin, through which the wedge passes, so the wedge goes in farther.
Both of these are best done by a gunsmith. Tinkering with a file can ruin your revolver in short order; spend the few extra bucks and get a gunsmith -- familiar with cap and ball revolvers -- to work on it. This is not a home project.
If the wedge is already bottomed out, and your barrel assembly is still loose, then you have more serious problems:
a. The wedge needs replacement.
b. The cylinder pin needs replacement.
c. The slot in the cylinder pin and barrel assembly need widening, and you need a new wedge.
d. The cylinder pin is loose in the frame. This is not uncommon brass-framed revolvers who have been fired with a steady diet of near-maximum or maximum loads.
Brass-framed revolvers should be fired with mild loads, or their brass frame will stretch or warp from the increased recoil and pressure.
Now, here are a couple of practices that will severely damage your revolver, which I hope you haven't been indulging in:
Dry-firing a cap and ball revolver won't normally loosen the wedge. At least, not that I've ever seen, but it will bang up the nipples upon which the percussion caps rest.
These damaged nipples make it far less reliable.
Cap and ball revolvers should never be dry-fired. If you must pull the trigger, such as when measuring how much pounds it takes to trip it, remove the cylinder first.
"Fanning" any single-action revolver -- cap and ball or cartridge -- is pure poison on the gun. Forget what you see on the movies and TV, with their budget they can afford to ruin a half dozen guns in short order by fanning them.
Fanning is the practice of holding the trigger back with your finger, while usng the heel of the other hand to slam back the hammer. Fanning breaks and prematurely wears a number of parts in the revolver's guts.
Without seeing your revolver, it's hard to diagnose the problem. If, indeed, there is a problem. If you bought it from a reputable dealer, you may return it for replacement or refund.
I've heard of some folks returning cap and ball revolvers two or three times -- especially brass-framed ones -- before they finally got one that worked correctly.
I know of one man who ordered from a major, national outdoor store who had to return his brass-framed Remington three times. Finally, on the fourth gun, he got one of decent quality. The others had been dogs.
Hope the above helps.
And by the way, complete sentences and capitalized letters are appreciated. Sometimes it helps to write your submission in Word, perfect it, and then copy and paste to the comment box.