Swing by my website at
www.corneredcat.com for some general information about firearms (esp self defense) from a woman's perspective. Expect to spend some time there -- it's a pretty big site.
While there, visit
www.corneredcat.com/RunGun/rack.aspx for instructions how to easily rack a slide. I'm betting that with five or ten minutes' work, she'll have a handle on that process and won't really struggle with slide manipulation again (except perhaps on tiny guns, which really should be saved for expert shooters anyway).
Now, with that out of the way,
don't tell her whether she wants a revolver or a semi-auto. Let her make her own decision, based on her personal sense of ergonomics and aesthetics, her willingness to learn the manual of arms, her finger strength (revolvers require more finger strength than semi-autos do), and her comfort level with caliber and capacity concerns. See
www.corneredcat.com/FirstGun/semivsrevo.aspx for a few subjects that might help get that conversation started. You'll think of more things to add, I'm sure!
Then get to the gun store with her, or encourage her to visit the store on her own, and have her try out different triggers and action types. Discuss the differences among the long, heavy trigger typical of a DA firearm, vs the short, light stroke of an SA, vs the medium but not always smooth triggers in the striker-fired family. Explain how if she goes with a revolver or a DA/SA semi auto, she will need to master the DA trigger and
cannot plan to just use SA all the time. Have her sample the feel of each of these trigger types before trying to settle on a specific gun.
Also discuss external safeties and their manipulation -- again, note that if she chooses a firearm with an external safety such as a thumb safety, she will need to use that safety
every single time so that the necessary muscle memory is there when she needs it. Discuss grip safeties (and if she chooses an XD, point out that the slide won't move a bit unless the grip safety is depressed; some women with slender hands have difficulty with that, though it doesn't affect most). Help her understand that external controls can be easily understood and used, but they do take a commitment to master well enough that you automatically use them correctly under stress.
After she's sampled a few triggers and has some understanding of the external-safety issues, it's time to work on gun fit concerns. See
www.corneredcat.com/FirstGun/tryongun.aspx for more about that. The simple rule of thumb is that a gun that's a
little bit too big might work okay, but a gun that's very much too big should be avoided. Once she's checked for trigger reach, be sure she checks that she can reach and use all the controls. Remember that trigger reach can often be shortened (by putting in a shorter trigger or altering the grip configuration), but those controls aren't going to move. So the location and usability of the controls is really critical when it comes to checking the gun fit for her.
When she's narrowed down her choices to two or three gun types, do whatever it takes to get those guns onto the range so she can fire them live. She's continuing to sample the trigger at this point, and also continuing to refine her understanding of how the guns fit, but the big question now is recoil. Lots of people enjoy recoil, but it's not
enjoyment she's checking. It's
controllability and
repeatability. In other words, if the gun kicks hard enough that she instantly develops an ugly flinch, that's not a good choice for her. Likewise, if she can only fire a few shots before she's done and wants to do something else, she hasn't found her gun yet. If she otherwise enjoys the gun, but finds she can't get multiple shots on target fairly quickly, that's a deal-killer right there.
"Her" gun will be one that fits her hand comfortably, that she enjoys shooting, that enables her to get shots on target relatively fast, and that doesn't encourage her to develop bad flinch habits as she practices.
Happy shopping!
pax
) and has really small hands. she loves this gun and hates my P22. she said she likes the fact that its all metal and the weight helps w/ recoil. its every easy to break down and clean. it has good sights and shoots good groups.