June 17, 2000
HARTFORD, CT - Steven Sliwa, President of Colt's Manufacturing, Inc., announced a major step forward in the evolution of Colt's "Smart Gun."
Sliwa revealed that the software for the Smart Gun will be developed by Microsoft (MSFT) and burned onto PROM chips, which will prevent the gun from being used by anyone other than the original purchaser.
"This is a tremendous step forward," Sliwa said. "With Microsoft software mated to Colt Hardware, the sky is literally the limit."
Microsoft CEO Bill Gates was enthusiastic about the project.
"The Smart Gun will incorporate Microsoft's well-deserved reputation for software quality and Colt's forward thinking in the firearms arena, resulting in a gun that parents can leave with their kids without worrying about their safety."
The Smart Gun software project is scheduled to begin in July 2000 and should be available to consumers in time for Christmas, according to Gates.
<hr>
December 15, 2000
REDMOND, WA - The Smart Gun project, representing an historic alliance between the software and firearms industries, has been delayed.
Originally scheduled for release this Christmas, Microsoft CEO Bill Gates called a press conference to discuss the delay.
"It seems that there are still some minor bugs in the code," Gates said. "Ordinary users wouldn't notice any problems, but some of our beta testers, while testing the guns under high-stress conditions, had the guns undergo what we call 'KBs.'"
Asked what KB stands for, Gates replied, "It's a technical term that really isn't worth going into here. Rest assured that the Smart Gun will be in consumers' hands within 6 months."
Meanwhile, Steven Sliwa of Colt's Manufacturing noted that the hardware required to make the Smart Gun a reality is ready and waiting for Microsoft's code.
"We're just hanging in there, waiting for Bill G.'s geniuses to deliver the goods. I'm confident that it'll be worth the wait."
However, prospective gun buyers are becoming irritated.
"I haven't been able to buy a gun since Clinton declared the moratorium [on firearms sales]," complained Joe Sixpack. "We're waiting for Microsoft and Colt to get it together, and until they do, no one can buy anything."
Sixpack was referring to the complete Federal ban on firearms sales, which was instituted by Executive Order on June 18, and which is to be rescinded when Colt's Smart Gun is approved by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.
<hr>
April 15, 2001
HARTFORD, CT - Steven Sliwa of Colt's Manufacturing called a press conference today to announce the cancellation of the Smart Gun cooperative project.
"Microsoft did their best, but unfortunately, their final version of SG2000 wasn't quite up to the standards we at Colt's expect." Pressed for details, Sliwa admitted that 75% of the guns they had provided to Microsoft to facilitate development underwent "catastrophic integrity failure."
In other words, said Sliwa, "they blew up."
Neither Microsoft nor Colt's would reveal how many testers were injured during development.
President Bill Clinton hailed the announcement as good news.
"My decision to remove guns from the hands of all Americans pending development of the Smart Gun has proven correct. If Colt's and Microsoft can't make guns safe, no one can."
Clinton refused to comment on the skyrocketing rate of homicides with firearms, noting only that "the police are doing the best they can. After all, protection of the individual is their job."
------------------
"America is at that awkward stage.
It's too late to work within the system,
but too early to start shooting the bastards."
--Claire Wolfe
[This message has been edited by Coinneach (edited June 09, 1999).]
HARTFORD, CT - Steven Sliwa, President of Colt's Manufacturing, Inc., announced a major step forward in the evolution of Colt's "Smart Gun."
Sliwa revealed that the software for the Smart Gun will be developed by Microsoft (MSFT) and burned onto PROM chips, which will prevent the gun from being used by anyone other than the original purchaser.
"This is a tremendous step forward," Sliwa said. "With Microsoft software mated to Colt Hardware, the sky is literally the limit."
Microsoft CEO Bill Gates was enthusiastic about the project.
"The Smart Gun will incorporate Microsoft's well-deserved reputation for software quality and Colt's forward thinking in the firearms arena, resulting in a gun that parents can leave with their kids without worrying about their safety."
The Smart Gun software project is scheduled to begin in July 2000 and should be available to consumers in time for Christmas, according to Gates.
<hr>
December 15, 2000
REDMOND, WA - The Smart Gun project, representing an historic alliance between the software and firearms industries, has been delayed.
Originally scheduled for release this Christmas, Microsoft CEO Bill Gates called a press conference to discuss the delay.
"It seems that there are still some minor bugs in the code," Gates said. "Ordinary users wouldn't notice any problems, but some of our beta testers, while testing the guns under high-stress conditions, had the guns undergo what we call 'KBs.'"
Asked what KB stands for, Gates replied, "It's a technical term that really isn't worth going into here. Rest assured that the Smart Gun will be in consumers' hands within 6 months."
Meanwhile, Steven Sliwa of Colt's Manufacturing noted that the hardware required to make the Smart Gun a reality is ready and waiting for Microsoft's code.
"We're just hanging in there, waiting for Bill G.'s geniuses to deliver the goods. I'm confident that it'll be worth the wait."
However, prospective gun buyers are becoming irritated.
"I haven't been able to buy a gun since Clinton declared the moratorium [on firearms sales]," complained Joe Sixpack. "We're waiting for Microsoft and Colt to get it together, and until they do, no one can buy anything."
Sixpack was referring to the complete Federal ban on firearms sales, which was instituted by Executive Order on June 18, and which is to be rescinded when Colt's Smart Gun is approved by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.
<hr>
April 15, 2001
HARTFORD, CT - Steven Sliwa of Colt's Manufacturing called a press conference today to announce the cancellation of the Smart Gun cooperative project.
"Microsoft did their best, but unfortunately, their final version of SG2000 wasn't quite up to the standards we at Colt's expect." Pressed for details, Sliwa admitted that 75% of the guns they had provided to Microsoft to facilitate development underwent "catastrophic integrity failure."
In other words, said Sliwa, "they blew up."
Neither Microsoft nor Colt's would reveal how many testers were injured during development.
President Bill Clinton hailed the announcement as good news.
"My decision to remove guns from the hands of all Americans pending development of the Smart Gun has proven correct. If Colt's and Microsoft can't make guns safe, no one can."
Clinton refused to comment on the skyrocketing rate of homicides with firearms, noting only that "the police are doing the best they can. After all, protection of the individual is their job."
------------------
"America is at that awkward stage.
It's too late to work within the system,
but too early to start shooting the bastards."
--Claire Wolfe
[This message has been edited by Coinneach (edited June 09, 1999).]
