A .38 special revolver is a great place to start for beginning shooters, but don't listen to the "Gun-Shop Experts" about what's the greatest, End-All, Be-All, Best gun for YOU. Because only YOU can decide what's right for YOU. The key to that is to get enough information to make a decision for yourself. And you get a lot of respect from me for getting on here to get that information.
All of these guys have it right.
.38 special and 9mm have very mild recoil when compared to .40, .45, .357 or higher calibers.
However, a .38 special round shot out of a Ruger LCR with a polymer frame and nearly NO mass to speak of,
And a .38 special round shot from a Ruger GP100 with a solid steel frame and plenty of heft to counteract Newton's Laws of Motion,
...are going to feel about as different as driving 60mph over a speed bump on a motorcycle and driving 60mph over a speed bump in a hummer.
Here are some constants in the firearms world that are widely universal...
1. The smaller/lighter a gun is, the more it will recoil.
2. The larger the caliber or cartridge loading, the more the weapon will recoil.
3. The Smaller/lighter a gun is, the easier it is to conceal.
(The opposites of these are also true)
So you begin to see the delimma that many shooters face, "Do I carry a gun that is easy to shoot, or one that is easy to carry; because I can scarcely do both."
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Another consideration is that as you shoot more often, you will get more comfortable with your caliber of choice. The ".38 SPECIAL" that you remember knocking you around your first couple of times at the range may begin to feel quite mild as you grow more comfortable in your shooting abilities.
The .38 Special is, by and large, a great round and platform. It's affordable to shoot, and there is a HUGE used market on .38 special revolvers (police trade ins, duty guns, etc...) that also offers a vast array of options for size, barrel length, capacity, sighting systems, weight, grip shape, etc... All shooters tend to have a certain respect for the .38 special.
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Finally, as a general rule, I advise everyone who asks me AGAINST ever using a .22lr caliber weapon as a defensive tool for anything other than a last resort. The biggest reason for that is the ammunition that it fires. 22lr ammunition is what is referred to as a "Rim-Fire" cartridge. They do not use the more reliable Center-Fire primer design as more reliable cartridges and as a result, are plagued by unreliability. Sometimes the rounds just don't go off. Anyone who shoots enough .22lr will agree with me. Besides the unreliability of the round, the round itself offers very little punch on the receiving end. They do have the power to damage tissue and kill, but that often happens many minutes or hours after the shooting. Larger calibers offer the power to STOP the offender instead of just most likely wounding him while he continues to perpetrate the crime.
Once again, you gain a lot of respect points for coming here for information and with an open mind.
~LT