Funny Stuff

J

Johnny Got His Gun.1

New member
www.mailbits.com

They have some interesting trivia and jokes on this site, but I thought some of you folks would appreciate some of the following quotes my best friend e-mailed me.

Bumper Stickers we'd like to see:

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

[This message has been edited by Johnny Got His Gun.1 (edited June 21, 2000).]
 
I heard a joke:

Did you hear about the 82 year old guy who had sex with an 18 year old woman? He went to the confessional and said "Father, I had sex with an 18 year old woman." The Father asked him if he's Catholic. The guy said "No, I'm Jewish". So the priest says "Then what are you telling me for?".

"Hell, I'm telling EVERYBODY!"
 
A few minutes after that, a comely young woman enters the confessional and says, "Last night my boyfriend made slow, passionate love to me seven times."
"Drink the juice of seven lemons", says the priest.
"Will that absolve me of my sins?" asks the woman.
"No, but it'll wipe that smile off your face."
 
A baby was born and was so advanced, he could talk. He looked around
the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" He asked.

"Yes, I am", the doctor replied.

The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth."

He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?"

"Yes I am," she said.

"Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said.

He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?"

"Yes, I am," his father answered.

The baby motioned him close, then poked him real hard on the forehead
with his index finger five times saying, "Hurts doesn't it?"


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"Lead, follow or get the HELL out of the way."
 
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