Friend that is fellow gun owner is kind of clueless

B

Botswana

New member
VENT/RANT

I have a friend, really my wife’s friend but we’ve known the whole family for years, who recently took her Texas CHL class and is going to complete the state portion soon. She has gone hardcore about the whole gun ownership thing, but is now bugging my wife and I about getting our CHL’s.

My wife hates guns. Hates that we have them in the house and hates that I am teaching our 13 year old to shoot. I am trying to work on this gradually because my wife grew up around guns in the country and they were a normal part of her life. So she knows how to live with them but I think reintroducing them to our home has been a bit of a shock to her.

I’m seriously considering a CHL for myself, but between trying to ease my wife into the idea and the fact that I don’t really feel that I need a handgun for defense it’s not something I’m worried about. If anything, what I have now is sufficient for home defense.

Here’s the kicker. Said friend also wants her 17 year old daughter to learn how to shoot. Ok, I’m cool with that. Everyone should have some basic firearms instruction whether they intend to carry or not. However, upon talking to the daughter (FYI – A girl I’ve known since she was 10 and the closest thing I have to a daughter of my own) she did not show any particular interest in shooting. One of my personal rules for firearms is “Thou shall not force someone to learn to shoot”. I’m fine with some reluctance or even fear, but if someone genuinely does not want to learn how to shoot I am not going to drag them to the shooting range.

On top of all that, our friend owns the Browning BDM I gave the range report on and a couple of derringers. She does not plan on using the Browning for concealed carry, which leaves? Ugh. Furthermore, I’m not sure she even knows how to clean the Browning, or owns a cleaning kit. I know when I cleaned it after using it, it was exceptionally dirty. Also, I didn’t want to shoot her ammo, but when I unloaded the magazine it only had 8 rounds in it. So I appreciate her desire to learn to protect herself but is clearly unready for self defense or home defense. She is at least capable in hand-to-hand, probably more than most guys I know.

Mostly this is just frustration. She doesn’t listen for squat. I think I’ve been able to demonstrate, not just tell her, that I have more firearms knowledge and so I think she might now be getting about 10% of what I am saying. Still it is both galling that she is making it harder for me to calm my wife down about having guns in the house while trying to force shooting on two others who have no interest or downright fear.
 
Some people resist being told things.
Sometimes this type will respond to questions which require them to consider what you are trying to get across.

For example, rather than tell her that her 17 year old daughter does not want anything to do with firearms and will be pushed away from the goal of firearms education; you might ask questions.

Such as:
Has the mother clear goals in mind? This to get her to consider what it is she is trying to accomplish.
How can she best achieve her goals? This to get her to consider how she can reach her goals.
Whether the mother has determined the daughter's feelings, desires or inclinations about firearms? This to get her to consider that other individuals have there own needs and desires which will likely conflict with her own.
 
Thou shall not force someone to learn to shoot.
Click to expand...
I'd agree if we were talking about a fade-away jump shot or a lag putt, but all of my kids will be taught to shoot and well before they are 17. Regular range trips won't be mandatory, but basic safety and function training certainly will.

not just tell her
Click to expand...
your use of these words leads me to believe the communication failure is not one sided.
 
If she really doesn't want to learn, then "no" is a valid answer to her requests. But from the way you presented it, it sounds more like she wants a gun as a tool for emergencys and wants her daughter to have enough knowledge to use it safely as well. I see nothing wrong with that. If my neighbor wanted me to teach her to drive a car, I wouldn't make learning how to change a tire the first lesson.
 
Rule #1 of teaching women to do things that YOU can do well and that they may or may not be interested in:




Pay someone else who is not a socially engaged friend of theirs to do it.


Trust me here: Sign the daughter up for a NRA course given by someone that they do not know. That ends all of the communications barriers and gets it off of your plate. If they end up (angry, frustrated, resistant to training, fill in the blank) they will not have an issue with YOU. People tend to learn better from strangers in any event.


Willie

.
 
You and I are similar in some aspects. We want to help, we do have the knowledge, it's frustrating when people are unreceptive or assume they are already at the pinnacle. Then they might have a "revelation" about about something you've been trying to communicate for some time and feel quite accomplished.

Let's take a step back and admit this: it's good your friend at least has SOMETHING in the concealed carry department. This is a huge step up from nothing. She may not be optimized yet but if her enthusiasm leads her to knowledge / research, she'll improve. Maybe she won't make the choices you would have but she'll move forward in proficiency.

Some will end up as better shooters than others - perhaps not because of their talent / ability but because their interest will only carry them so far. To some extent that is out of our hands. I have met few who enjoy shooting as much as I do and it surprises me sometimes... when it really shouldn't.

Good job showing restraint with your wife. Hobbies can be seen as competition for attention and efforts.
 
Last edited:
Trust me here: Sign the daughter up for a NRA course given by someone that they do not know. That ends all of the communications barriers and gets it off of your plate. If they end up (angry, frustrated, resistant to training, fill in the blank) they will not have an issue with YOU. People tend to learn better from strangers in any event.
Click to expand...

Heh, I had a similar thought, Willie.

The same gun range I have been going to offers some basic shooting courses. I think they go from beginner shooter to basic defensive techniques.

I feel confident enough to teach basic gun safety and basic marksmanship, but not much beyond that. I'm pretty impressed with the range officers where I go and I've seen the classes they hold. All very professional even though when you drive up it looks like some country bumpkin gun range.
 
So she only had 8 rounds in the mag. This is bad how? Call me crazy, but if she hasn't hit the target with her first 8 shots, I doubt she'll hit 'em with the next 7. Don't get me wrong, if it were me I'd probably top it off, but I don't see how having only 8 rounds is such an indication of her being clueless. I mean, if she had a revolver would you call her clueless? I'd assume not, but that half-loaded Browning still has more shots available than the revolver.
 
i very seldom ans posts. but this comes up a lot,

I have a CHL and i pack a small barrel 44 special, i am also a 75 years old cripple. i have decided if i get involved in a mass shooting i will not defend people that do not have fire arms or do not believe in them, but if the shooter starts to come towards me or mine then i will do my best to kill him or her.
 
So she only had 8 rounds in the mag. This is bad how?
Click to expand...

Merely preponderence of evidence. By itself it is not a big deal. However, in light of other discoveries it is one more nail in the coffin. Hopefully not literally.

Honestly, I feel kind of guilty not "topping off the tank" for her. I should have held back some of the rounds I had bought even though it was just WWB. What she needs is some nice JHP. Perhaps I'll get some for her for Christmas.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top