Hello, FUD. It may be that when Federal's expanding full metal jacketed round in 9mm hits the market, you will find your solution.
M&S don't rate SWCs any higher than ball in the same weight and velocity, but factory ammo using SWCs that they tested are completely swaged! Swaged SWCs never have as
sharp of shoulder as cast and the flat noses may or may not be the same. Intuitively, I feel certain that a hardcast .357 158 gr SWC
is "better" than a Remington 158 gr swaged SWC. I can tell you from personal experience that the latter load's entrance and exit wounds are about 4mm in diameter. Not very scientific, but testing .45ACP cast SWC (H&G #68) handloads (1030 ft/sec) did NOT blow up water jugs to any greater degree than did ball at 850 ft/sec, just a little splash and wiggle on the jug and glug, glug, glug as the water ran out the entrance and exit. At that time (about 25 years ago, most JHPs did NOT expand), I was working with .45 Colt SWCs in .45ACP. Casting the normally 260 gr SWC from pure linotype and sizing to .452", I was able to work up a load that was accurate and reliable in a Series 70 Colt. Velocity was about 860 ft/sec. You know, I'm sure, that this has a huge flat point about the size of a .38 full wadcutter and a sharp shoulder. The jugs exploded. Again, I am the first to admit that water jugs are not the end all on testing, but it's what I had. Also, ductseal was much in vogue during this time. Tests in it showed much, much larger "wound channels" than did any other SWCs, ball, or JHPs except the ancient Super Vel 190 gr. I think that were I having the problems you mention and didn't want to alter the original weapon's bbl/ramp or buy a new bbl, I'd look at Federal 115 gr JHP or Remington's 115 gr JHP.
If even they do not feed, try downloading the magazine a tad like one or two rounds. If that doesn't work, you might try Hornady's 115 or 124 gr line of JHPs. This bullet's much more pointed than some and might do the trick. If that fails, use another defensive 9mm until the expanding FMJ comes out. I will check around at some other bullet profiles for you, but I'm sure that the one's I mentioned are the most like ball in ogive.
Best.