ripcord22 - look in the phone book or ask at any local gun shop about ranges in your area with rental guns. Handling in the store is a good idea as you can rule out those that just fit your hand poorly. But far better is to go rent some that you are interested in and actualy shoot them.
Are you planning on carrying the weapon? That will have a big effect on your choice in terms of size and weight for concealed carry.
If it is strictly for range use and home defense, then size and weight become purely a matter of personal likes/dislikes and what feels good.
My HD guns tend to be large and heavy - FNP-45 and a 4" Ruger GP-100. A guns mass (IMO) has more to do with felt recoil then calibre. Even the harshest cartridges (the magnums - .357, .44, the venerable .45acp, ...) become easily manageable in a gun with some major weight to it (my FNP-45 weighs in at 42-43oz loaded, and the GP-100 is around 39-40oz loaded). Of course, the down side, for some people is that the gun is big and heavy.
Personally, even for carry, I still like some mass to my gun. I've shot S&W j-frames in .38spl and .357, as well as recently a Ruger LCR and I simply do not like those lightweight guns - my follow up shots are slower to get back on target and the light weight means they just jump around too much and are too hard to control. That's my take on them, but others love them and shoot them well, so you won't know what works for you until you try.
So I would suggest that you narrow down just what you want to do with the gun. Then you can go out to some stores and see what's there and handle them. From that, you could come up with a candidate list (definately try some different calibre guns) and find a range (or ranges) where you could rent and try.
Then you can always post back here and ask specifics about a given make or model.
My own guns include the FNP-45 (polymer frame) and an all stainless steel Taurus PT1911 (both .45acp), a CZ P-01 (9mm), a SIG P226 (Blackwater 9mm - both 9mm's are alloy frames) and a SIG P232 (all stainless .380acp), and a 6" blued and a 4" stainless Ruger GP-100 (.357 magnum). I would recommend any or all of them to anyone as I enjoy them all and have been very pleased with the quality and performance of all of them. But none of that helps you pick out a gun unless you are rich and really can just go out and buy one of everything