I must be reading the question differently-- I didn't see that the question was necessarily in reference to self-defense.
If so, the Mini-14's okay, and the M1, while under-powered, is all right.
I have a tiny lady friend who has a serious passion (we're talking involved, here) for her AR-15, because it's light and short for her arms, and has negligible recoil. Yes, it's kind of intimidating-looking, but there's so much after-market stuff out there to make it into a "race gun", it would barely look like a "black rifle" by the time you got through with it, if you so desired.
What about a light and handy rifle like the Browning BLR lightweight in .243? Quite accurate, easy to handle, rather classy.
Or a Remington auto-loader?
I like the idea of the Rossi M-92 that Giz mentioned. Say, .44 Magnum, and practice with Specials?
The nice thing is, there's such a range of answers. The problem is, we don't really have your domain fully illustrated. Hunting applications? Accuracy needs? Environment of possible shooting situations? Wife's preference? Wife's build/ability to absorb recoil?
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Will you, too, be one who stands in the gap?
Matt