Pond James Pond
New member
Learnt a few things about myself today and a few lessons about what to do.
I had a rather unpleasant experience with a couple of locals today, particularly one of them.
Where I work, there is a back courtyard parking area. To reach the road, you exit the carpark, turn left and you then reach a main road which is one-way only with both lanes coming from the left.
So I drove out, down the access road to the main road, indicated right and watched left for a suitable gap in the traffic. I was in first gear, with the car bumper at the edge of the main road, ready to pull out.
I saw a gap and eased out the clutch, looking round to the right to see the road I was about to drive onto, only to see two guys just walking in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes (I was not moving at more than walking pace). One of them slapped my car bonnet and gesticulated to say “what the heck are you doing?!” I responded saying “why the hell are you walking in front a car about to pull out: go behind it!!”
He continued around then turned sharply and grabbed my car door, opened it and confronted me.
He proceeded to mouth off at me. I just kept telling him to get away from my car. After what felt like eternity but was probably only 10 seconds, his buddy pulled him away.
Now a few facts and observations about the exchange and my situation:
Firstly, I was not carrying. I had pepper-spray, but that was in my coat pocket, on the side of the open door. I was belted into my seat and so relatively immobile.
I also lacked one of the best means of diffusing a situation: communications. He was shouting at me in Russian and I was responding in English. My tone was not aggressive but nor was it friendly. It was firm. His body language and tone was aggressive, but to be honest, Russian always sounds aggressive to me. He did not appear to be armed with anything other than fists and an attitude but together they can be quite devastating. Finally, it really happened fast.
So what have I learnt?
First and foremost, I think carrying more often is in order. Because of where my work takes me that is not always possible but, by Jove, it will be more possible from now on!! (Smartcarry, here I come!) I'm not saying drawing here would have been my choice, but it could have spiralled really fast and if someone is trying to drag me out of a car and onto the ground….
Secondly, I'm going to drive with my doors locked. Furthermore, situational awareness is hard work. Keeping an eye on traffic and on passersby is no easy task.
Bottom line is, I was 100% focussed on the road, and didn't see them approach. I had the time it took him to walk around the car to formulate a plan.
So what do I think I could have done differently?
Well, I've mulled over some of my options. But, all in all, given that no one got hurt, other than Pond-Pride, I think it worked out ok, but I doubt very much of that is due to my astute handling of the situation. I didn't escalate it once the door was open, although I could have de-escalated it earlier by being apologetic before it even got that far. Whilst, I think what they did smacks of surgically-removed common sense, if you lack the language to say so, it might be better to let them think they made their point. Pond-Pride, as you can imagine, mutters under its breath at the thought! All hindsight, though.
I could have driven away but this could have had major repercussions: had I just gone, I might have pulled out in front of on coming traffic. Had I reversed, I would surely have sent him flying. Karma, some may say, but that would have opened a can of worms. Yes, I might have been able to prove that I feared for my safety (and I did, TBH), but then again I might not. What he did, did leave me feeling pretty violated, though.
I guess the other option would have been pepper-spray, but that was in the wrong pocket. Had he got physical, I would have probably gone for that, but at the time, I got that tunnel-vision thing that people talk about where I could only focus on the threat: I remember thinking afterwards, that the spray hadn't occurred to me during the event!
Well, I don't know what I hope to get from posting this other than, perhaps someone being able to take some lessons from my incident and consider how they might react. Perhaps some members have suggestions for the future: but just remember, though, this is Estonia so Castle-doctrines, SYG and lots of self-defence cases are not the general rule and so don't apply.
I still think it is bloody stupid to walk in front of a car, right to left, when it is indicating right and the driver is looking left, with its nose edging into the road. But then it is stupid to yank open the car door of a complete stranger, so why am I surprised?
Ultimately, the whole sorry episode worked out well as neither of us got hurt and he and I can continue our respective lives. One as an idiot and the other as a forum-socialite. So all's well that end's well, but I am very aware that this outcome is, for a large part, down to luck and the intervention of his buddy and probably not mine: I don't want to solely rely on aggressor's friends for my well-being.
I had a rather unpleasant experience with a couple of locals today, particularly one of them.
Where I work, there is a back courtyard parking area. To reach the road, you exit the carpark, turn left and you then reach a main road which is one-way only with both lanes coming from the left.
So I drove out, down the access road to the main road, indicated right and watched left for a suitable gap in the traffic. I was in first gear, with the car bumper at the edge of the main road, ready to pull out.
I saw a gap and eased out the clutch, looking round to the right to see the road I was about to drive onto, only to see two guys just walking in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes (I was not moving at more than walking pace). One of them slapped my car bonnet and gesticulated to say “what the heck are you doing?!” I responded saying “why the hell are you walking in front a car about to pull out: go behind it!!”
He continued around then turned sharply and grabbed my car door, opened it and confronted me.
He proceeded to mouth off at me. I just kept telling him to get away from my car. After what felt like eternity but was probably only 10 seconds, his buddy pulled him away.
Now a few facts and observations about the exchange and my situation:
Firstly, I was not carrying. I had pepper-spray, but that was in my coat pocket, on the side of the open door. I was belted into my seat and so relatively immobile.
I also lacked one of the best means of diffusing a situation: communications. He was shouting at me in Russian and I was responding in English. My tone was not aggressive but nor was it friendly. It was firm. His body language and tone was aggressive, but to be honest, Russian always sounds aggressive to me. He did not appear to be armed with anything other than fists and an attitude but together they can be quite devastating. Finally, it really happened fast.
So what have I learnt?
First and foremost, I think carrying more often is in order. Because of where my work takes me that is not always possible but, by Jove, it will be more possible from now on!! (Smartcarry, here I come!) I'm not saying drawing here would have been my choice, but it could have spiralled really fast and if someone is trying to drag me out of a car and onto the ground….
Secondly, I'm going to drive with my doors locked. Furthermore, situational awareness is hard work. Keeping an eye on traffic and on passersby is no easy task.
Bottom line is, I was 100% focussed on the road, and didn't see them approach. I had the time it took him to walk around the car to formulate a plan.
So what do I think I could have done differently?
Well, I've mulled over some of my options. But, all in all, given that no one got hurt, other than Pond-Pride, I think it worked out ok, but I doubt very much of that is due to my astute handling of the situation. I didn't escalate it once the door was open, although I could have de-escalated it earlier by being apologetic before it even got that far. Whilst, I think what they did smacks of surgically-removed common sense, if you lack the language to say so, it might be better to let them think they made their point. Pond-Pride, as you can imagine, mutters under its breath at the thought! All hindsight, though.
I could have driven away but this could have had major repercussions: had I just gone, I might have pulled out in front of on coming traffic. Had I reversed, I would surely have sent him flying. Karma, some may say, but that would have opened a can of worms. Yes, I might have been able to prove that I feared for my safety (and I did, TBH), but then again I might not. What he did, did leave me feeling pretty violated, though.
I guess the other option would have been pepper-spray, but that was in the wrong pocket. Had he got physical, I would have probably gone for that, but at the time, I got that tunnel-vision thing that people talk about where I could only focus on the threat: I remember thinking afterwards, that the spray hadn't occurred to me during the event!
Well, I don't know what I hope to get from posting this other than, perhaps someone being able to take some lessons from my incident and consider how they might react. Perhaps some members have suggestions for the future: but just remember, though, this is Estonia so Castle-doctrines, SYG and lots of self-defence cases are not the general rule and so don't apply.
I still think it is bloody stupid to walk in front of a car, right to left, when it is indicating right and the driver is looking left, with its nose edging into the road. But then it is stupid to yank open the car door of a complete stranger, so why am I surprised?
Ultimately, the whole sorry episode worked out well as neither of us got hurt and he and I can continue our respective lives. One as an idiot and the other as a forum-socialite. So all's well that end's well, but I am very aware that this outcome is, for a large part, down to luck and the intervention of his buddy and probably not mine: I don't want to solely rely on aggressor's friends for my well-being.
He did say that he "learnt" to lock his doors.
