Couldn't resist sharing this one

B

Bruce in West Oz

New member
From the Sunday Times (Perth, Western Australia)
21 May 2000

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Bang, you're fired
LONDON: Cash-strapped British defence chiefs have ordered Royal Navy recruits to shout "bang" rather than fire live rounds in exercises in a bid to save money.

Trainee gunners at HMS Cambridge, near Plymouth, south-west England, were told to load shells, take aim -- and shout "bang" into a microphone.

"It's like being a kid again, playing cowboys and Indians in the playground. It makes you ask what the navy's coming to," a serviceman said.

A navy spokesman said live firing was no longer necessary and the forces had to provide value for money.[/quote]

I can see it now as the enemy looms over the horizon.

Captain: All guns engage, armour-piercing shell.

Gunnery Officer: All guns with armour-piercing shell, load, load, load!

Captain: Commence fire.

Gunnery Officer: Shoot!

Gunner: "Bang!"

(All right, I'm warped, you gotta problem wid dat??)

Reminds me of the story doing the rounds when our army was desperately short of small-arms ammo.

Troops were sent out on exercise with the instruction to aim and say "bang" at the "enemy", who were instructed to play dead.

One grunt sees an "enemy" soldier coming his way. He lines up and goes "bang"!

"Enemy" keeps coming.

Again, he goes "bang"!

Same result.

Again, "bang". Then "bang, bang, bang, bang" ... a whole magazine-full.

"Enemy" keeps coming and walks past our dazed grunt, untouched.

And as he goes past the grunt hears him muttering to himself: "tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank" ......

B


[This message has been edited by Bruce in West Oz (edited May 21, 2000).]
 
Reminds me of the some games we used to play as kids:

"Bang, you're dead!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Am not!!"

"Are too!!!"

"AM NOT!!!"

"ARE TOO!!!!"

Completely un-PC by todays standards. I would probably have been hauled off for evaluation.
 
Back in the "old days" (1898) when we were sharper than we are now, we had sub-caliber inserts. These had the shape of the shell, but had a liner that was of rifle caliber. I remember seeing them for sale in Bannerman's in the 50's. They looked to be about the size of our 3" shell today, but it took a 45-70 round.

Every so often on TV, they will have a segment on how unprepared we were for WWII.
On maneuvers, the planes would swoop in and drop bags of flour instead of bombs. The infantry would advance, supporting tanks that were trucks that had a sign reading
"TANK".

Then it's the men who have to pay a far higher price later on, but that doesn't affect the books today, so we are "saving" money.

Stupidity is international.

Thanks for the post. It will ring bells at the VFW meetings.


[This message has been edited by Oatka (edited May 21, 2000).]
 
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!


ROTF LMAO!


The word "Dumbasses" comes to mind. I am glad those people are not protecting MY freedom. In fact, likely they are UN and are the people that will be trying to take my freedoms. Good luck. Bang, you're dead.
 
Careful there my fellow Americans.

Some years back at an Army training area (I believe Ft. Leonard Wood or Ft. Hood, can't remember), our own Army was so short of training funds that six troops marched very close together and pretended to be a tank by saying,

"Clank, clank, I'm a tank."

(As I recall, the troops (especially the older ones who had seen combat) were not impressed. ;) )
 
The use of simulators to replace live qualification at the firing range is spreading in the military. The last time I qualified before retirement (AF) was with an M16 simulator. Nice and clean and air conditioned! It was great. Grrrrrr ... :mad:


[This message has been edited by sensop (edited May 21, 2000).]
 
For some reason, I'll call it Liberalism, the Western countries can't learn a simply leason. They've gone through two world wars and still can't get it.

England...I like even France better than the UK.
 
Karanas: That reminds me of a great Peanuts cartoon from the late '50s/early '60s. Charlie Brown and the gang were playing Cowboys and Indians:

Lucy: "Charlie Brown, I shot Shermie and he didn't fall down and play dead!"

Charlie Brown: "Where did you shoot him?"

Lucy: "I shot him behind the couch."
 
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT WHEN YOU ELECT COMMIES INTO OFFICE!!!!! They are going to do everything they can to weaken the free world, so that their handlers in Russia, and China can take over! :mad:

------------------
BOYCOTT SMITH AND WESSON!!!
Defend the Constitution from the foreign threat!!!!
 
They say that in a crisis you will do as you have been trained.
Thats the whole purpose of training.
An guess what? These "professionals" will be the ones called upon to teach the young recruits how to shoot when there is a crisis.
 
Sounds absurd, but think of all the cleaning you don't have to do. Weapons are dirty things, folks. I'd yell bang any day than spend hours making a weapon ready for inspection... day in, day out.
 
It sure would be easier to kill people who haven't been properly trained.

Fools.



------------------
There are two types of men: those with gun, and those at their mercy.
 
"No combat-ready unit ever passed an inspection"---Lt. Gen G.S. Patton.

Looks like the Brits are more concerned with passing inspections now.
I sit around and BS with the neighbor, and we came up with a great idea for the military: Make it mandatory that all units go to the range once a month. An average score will be tallied for each company sized unit. The unit in each battallion with the best avarage gets a 3 day pass.
You don't learn how to shoot in the army. How could you? with a total round consumption of less than 150 annually, there's no way you can get better. I'm also for having NCO's Given extra promotion points for subordinates' marksmanship scores.
Ammo is by far cheaper than blood. Americans don't like to die on the battlefield. Brits, while superb soldiers, are just a little to willing to die for Crown, and country. An army should be able to: Shoot, Move, and Communicate. That is the most simple formula. If they can't do any one of these three, they will be driven from the field of battle by those who can. All the gidgets in the world cannot save an Army unable to shoot, talk, and git.
 
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