I'm sorting out the compromises myself.
I carry some extra pounds,and there is the issue of how the gun/holster interacts with my topography.
I agree that a pocket 380 is "armed",but its not my choice
A gun in the class of a Shield(pick your brand) is,IMO,a great IWB choice.
In my case,my hand is too big.I don't acquire a natural grip,I manipulate to a "pinch"
Mag capacity? We imagine scenarios. IMO,more is better,but,there is the gunfight scenario,and there is the quick SD/escape scenario.Most cases,the Shield calss would do. I went with the M+P 9 C.
I have a couple of workable carries,but I'm "that guy" you are talking about.(less the knife clips).
My body does too much "accordion" for appendix.3 oclock or so is fine. Going back to 4 oclock or beyond,the grip sticks out like a wheelbarrow handle.
I have a relatively nice OWB kydex holster on a new Hanks 1 3/4 in belt,but so many of the holsters try to be too hi-ride.The belt loops are too close to the muzzle and the gun wants to tip away from the body.
So I'm leaning toward comfortable and secure carry.I receieved some Boston Leather LEO suspenders today.Put it on the Hank's belt.I have a double mag pouch for 15 rd mags.
Its darn near like Viet Nam era web gear.But maybe not sleek.
My fashion sense is "rustic" .I'm the 6'3" 300 lb white bearded Old Guy in bib overalls,usually. Tee shirt,holster rig,Bibs ,3XL tall overshirt
Frankly,I don't care too much if a focused observer like an LEO guesses I might be carrying. With my personna and Colorado location,I could even wear a canvas or leather vest,a Hawaiian shirt,a big,baggy tee, surplus BDU shirt.
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I'll "evolve" my carry over time,but $75 holsters and $75 belts and $400-$600 guns cramp trying a lot of new ideas.
I definitely want to try a lower riding holster to beat the "tip away"
Maybe I'll try an IWB. An OWB suits me better,but they all seem to put the belt below the trigger guard. Nice for draw,bad for conceal and carry.