CCW’s and kids

[Scott Evans]

“Hay Dad do you have your GUN ! “ or “Mom where’s your pistol ? “ are things that your young children are likely to blurt out at the worst possible moment if you are one who carries concealed. That is unless you plan for it and address the possibility ahead of time. I have 4 little ones by-the-way ages 1, 3, 8 and 11. Some things that I have observed that help.

The more consistent you are in having your weapon with you at all times the less likely it will remain a big deal to your children. However, occasionally children will perceive a potential threat and take great comfort in knowing that Dad or Mom is ready, ABLE and willing to deal with it. At such times they are likely to ask even if they already know you have it.

2nd: Teach them to call your weapon something other then “Dad’s GUN” or “Mom’s pistol”. Give it a name. A friend of mine, who has seven children, and is a real Southern Gentleman, has always had his kids refer to his carry piece as “Momma dog”. Another friend has taught his kids to refer to his carry piece as his “Wallet”. So if they are out and abut and have to ask they can say something like “Mom do you have your wallet today?” Of course this takes repeated practice and explanation in the home.

Any other suggestions … ? If you have or have had children what do you do?

 

[Jim V]

I don't know what to do about kids and your CCW. You have to watch out for adults too. Friends that know you have a CCW and do carry can open their mouths at the wrong time and have things go from bad to RFB in a hurry. "Scott, you have a gun, do something!!!" Where before you could serve as a good witness, now you are forced in to take part when the BG decides that you are a threat. That happened to me once before I retired from police work.

------------------
Ne Conjuge Nobiscum

 

[David Wright]

Scott, excellent post.

My 3 1/2 year old, blurted out something about my pistol when he was two, but fortunately, no one heard it. I explained to him that this was "our" secret. If too many people knew, some BG's might try to take it away. Ditto with our gun collection. The folks at day care indicate that he never says anything about it. On some occasions, he will refer to some of the weapons I carry as "bazookas". That way, we can communicate, but any bystanders think it's just a little kid making up stories and so forth. This has even worked when a nosy woman asked if I carry GUNS! in my fanny pack. I told her that I only carry bazookas and missles in there!

This is what has worked for me.

 

[Jeff Thomas]

Wow ... you folks never cease to amaze me! While I have warned my kids to keep our 'lifesavers' a secret in general, I never even considered this situation. Now, I'm just going for my CCW training next week, so it hasn't been an issue yet, but I appreciate seeing you raise the issue.

My kids are already tired of being quizzed about the four firearms safety rules - now I've got a new quiz for them! Regards from AZ.

 

[Mike in VA]

Good topic, Scott. When I first got my CWP I was kind of proud of myself and let on to a couple of people I knew well that I was carrying on occasion, once for effect after one of them had just finished an anti-gun diatribe (the look was priceless).

However, I've come to realize how stupid I was, in retrospect, because CC is serious business and nobody needs to know but me.

Jim V.'s scenario, the notion of somebody I'm with saying 'you've got a gun, do something' at the wrong time scares the hell out of me. It absolutely eliminates any element of surprise and the advantage of choosing your time if it becomes necessary to get involved, and will draw you into a situation that maybe you reallly don't need to fuss with under other circumstances. I don't have to worry about kids, but other than my wife, nobody knows if and when I carry, and I've come to accept it as part of the discipline. We have a couple of code words and strategies of 'ackward' situations, and I think that will work with kids, too, but they must be impressed with the fact that it's 'our secret', and it's a serious one at that.

Stay safe, M2

[This message has been edited by Mike in VA (edited March 23, 1999).]

 

[Rob Pincus]

Indeed, Scott, this is an excellent topic.

I am troubled by the idea of the "nickname" scenario for kids, as it could impart the wrong impression as to the seriousness with which a gun is to be treated.

I have a 3.5 year old hopping around the house and over the last couple years, since she was old enough to recognize guns, we have OFTEN (as in daily when I am in town) showed he a gun on a table or in a holster or leaning up in the corner of a room (for demo purposes only) and asked her what is was, and when/if she was allowed to touch it.

At first the answers were simple: "a gun" "no"

Then they moved to "daddy's gun or mommy's gun" and "only with mommy or daddy"

Now we are at the "rifle, gun, daddy's gun, BIG gun" stage where she is starting to recognize that not all guns are the same, but they should all be treated alike. (no, she hasn't said "That's a Glock 23, the greatest CCW gun ever!" (yet...). She also realizes that she should tell an adult when she sees an unattended gun (and she has in those infamous "don't let them know your watching" type tests) and that she can shoot with an adult helping her.

She knows that we use guns for hunting and she wants to shoot a deer, but "not one with sposts on it." She thinks it is okay to shoot animals, but not to "shoot them again" after they have been mounted and are hanging onthe wall..).

She is actively discouraged from having "pretend" guns. This has been the biggest problem, really. She wants her dolls to have to have pretend guns herself for "grrrs" (monsters) and bad-guys. WE have had to explain to her, at this point, that there are NO pretend guns and that they are all very dangerous and can hurt her or other people.

We also do not let the older kids shoot (even our 13 year old with a BB gun) when she is watching, unless they are being directly supervised by one of us, since we have told her that Guns are NOT for kids, and she considers herself a kid just like the older ones...

As far as talking about guns in public, we tried telling her not too, then we took her to a trade show with us and she kept getting very upset whenever we would say the "G-word" with anyone. So we have modified it to being something that KIDS don't talk about, and let her know that she should tell us if she ever hears kids talking about guns. She is only suppoed to talk about guns if she sees one. Of course, she know points at every LEO and says, "That guy has a gun!", we've goten her to at least do this quietly most of the time.

------------------
-Essayons

 

[Dennis]

We have two daughters (14 months apart) who began shooting .22 rifle and
.22 revolver some time well before Kindergarten. With two kids and two
parents, things went suprisingly well. I don’t recommend this - merely
relate it. For many kids (my grandson, for example), this would have been
grossly inappropriate.

My intention in such early training for my daughters was to “gun proof” my
kids by:
- resolving natural curiousity,
- showing how violent guns can be,
- showing how much fun guns can be,
- showing how to handle guns safely,
- showing that “bad gun” and “good gun” refer to craftsmanship, reliability,
and being appropriate for the intended job
- requiring them to learn the concepts of the “Eddie Eagle” program before
we knew of its existence: i.e. If you see a gun, (1) STOP! (2) Don’t touch it!
(3) Leave the area! (4) Tell an adult! (I can lock up MY guns, but what
happens at the neighbors’ homes???)
- giving them a means of evaluating the tellers of gun tales and opinions,
- giving them rules to apply to each other (Boy! They LIKED that one!)
- giving them a whole list of fun reasons to shoot guns for recreation,
- showing them how firearms (handguns, rifles, & shotguns) can be
appropriate for defense of self, loved ones, property, etc.,
- ensuring they knew it is their Natural Right, not a government-given
privilege, to own guns, protect themselves, etc.,
- having some real, very real “quality time” with my wife and daughters,
- providing a “first memory of guns” that was not only instructive and safe,
but FUN. (My daughters say it is one of their very first memories of us being
“out having fun”.)

There’s more. But I’ve beat the drum enough.

Rob,
When my kids were “real little”, all I had was the .44 Bulldog. We all called
it, “Mister Shorty” (after the Marty Robbins song). The girls had seen what
Mr. Shorty could do to a water-filled milk jug. They had heard the thunder,
seen the flame, felt the concussion, etc. They also saw me kill a large, ugly,
sick, vicious dog in our front yard (out on the farm/ranch). They had a lot of
respect for “Mister Shorty”.
I can see that “nicknames” can breed disrespect for the gun. We were lucky
enough to find a way around that problem. (Not always easy, I agree.)
They understood that “Mister Shorty” was “family business” - not to be
discussed with non-family unless he (she) was a police officer in uniform.

From what you explained about yourself and your home, I would be proud to
have any child or grandchild of mine come to your home to learn about guns
with one proviso. What you teach them, they must teach me!!!