CCW-related Craigslist Ad

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OldCorp

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This is supposedly an actual ad placed in Craigslist. I thought it was funny.....
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To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah
>> )
>>>
>>> Reply to: pers-982078099@craigslist.org [?]
>>> Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST
>>>
>>> I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket
>> that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the
>> knife on me and my girlf riend. You also asked for my
>> girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
>> across this message. I'd like to apologize.
>>>
>>> I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew
>> my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing
>> the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that
>> cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that
>> Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just
>> picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful
>> pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed
>> at your head, isn't it?
>>>
>>> I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun
>> walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown
>> sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was
>> even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes,
>> cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you
>> calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug
>> us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
>> "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and
>> explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some
>> gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the home less
>> guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's , along with all of the
>> cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
>> dumpster.
>>>
>>> I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
>> They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know
>> which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've
>> only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I
>> don't know w hat's going on with that. I hope they
>> haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to
>> make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office
>> with it. Oh well.
>>>
>>> So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough
>> on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so
>> I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've
>> already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out.
>> I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on
>> the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or
>> powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you
>> and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm
>> hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in
>> life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this
>> message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!
>>> - Alex
 
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