CCW First Date

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Ok, I admit, this is probably a dumb question, but just want some feedback...

Has anyone left their gun at home when taking a beautiful lady out for the first time? It’s hard to know how a girl feels about packing before going on that first date. I had one tonight and decided to leave the .45 at home, and was fortunate that nothing went wrong- but does anyone have any advice for a ccw young buck?

I expect most to say that when pants go on, gun goes on…but what if you don't know how she'll react? Many will say that she’s not worth keeping around if she has a problem with it, but there’s really no way to know that. They can warm up to CCW over time. Any thoughts?
 
FIRST, Let her know you have a ccw and carry a weapon before you start dating. For some poeple that can be a deal breaker and you should let her know who you are. Kinda funny the we put on a face when we meet and start to date, a shiney version of the real you. Best to just be you and give your date the benefit of the doubt. ;)
 
You expect her to find your CCW on the first date, or just hope she does? :p Conceal it and keep it that way. If ya need to, leave it in the car when you go upstairs.
 
Always wear the gun. Do you think th BGs won't commit crimes because you are on a first date? If she doesn't like it either dump her, or all your guns.
 
IMHO concealed means just that. No reason you should not carry and not discuss this. If you properly conceal than this can remain a subject for later discussion if warranted.
 
This is a delicate subject. Here's my approach.

Recognizing that I've thought through the 2A more than most women I have met, I generally drop small hints that I collect and shoot guns and get her feel. If she's pro gun, then I know we're on the same page. If she's anti gun, I feel her out to see if it's an informed decision to see if I can rehabilitate her and either stay or go from there.

I think you should always carry on a first date, but the legality may prohibit it on social occasions. You have to consider you may be going to a bar or drinking and your state laws may bar that behavior. Or you may go dancing or who knows, and that can be tricky with a pistol.

Also, consider that you may get a firm hug or more and the LAST thing you want to ruin that spark is her unexpectedly feeling something large and firm that's not natural and on your hip...

You may just consider a different type of carry, possibly ankle carry or get yourself a pocketgun and a desantis holster and put it in your back pocket.

And, when it's time to tumble, you may want to discretely leave it in your coat pocket or in the glove box.

After a few dates though it will be impossible to continue to conceal it, from both a practical and a level of trust situation. I will always tell a woman within a few dates. It's not that I'm hiding it, but it's BIG news to some women and you have to build up some trust and report before springing it on them. If all they know of guns is from media, they may not be receptive to some stranger saying "hey, I've got a gun. Wanna go on a date?" But after a few dates and they trust you and maybe you've already been romantic, you can have a deep conversation about the philosophy of self defense and then ask if they'd like to learn how to shoot. If she is receptive you can ease into the "that's why I carry a gun" conversation.
 
What an interesting topic!:)

Being a young buck myself I know exactly what you're going through. And I'll give you the same advice I give anyone. For a first date I always try to make it a group date. Have her bring a friend or two and you do the same that way you can talk to your friends and feel comfortable (Works even better when you have mutiual friends). And when you are comfortable you act more like yourself and less like someone who's just trying to impress said girl. Being yourself is very important especially on a first date. And with the added bonus of a buddy and maybe his GF you can preplan the CC converstation. And you'll know really quick if she is comfortable or not. And the honest truth is, if she is ok you'll have another. But if she doesn't want anything to do with it you have to be willing to accept that answer. I personally wouldn't want a GF or anything for that matter that was going to weasel her way into my life and push my other "Ladies" out.

I did exactly as I described about 9 months ago. And when the topic switched to self defence and guns she asked me plainly if I carried. And I told her the truth. And that must have done something for her because she followed me home and hasn't left since. :p
 
Thanks for the replies...I wasn't sure if anyone would. Like leadcounsel said, it is a delicate subject because you never know where the night will take you.
 
Hey, my wife swore she'd never date anyone who was a cop, fireman, or military and certainly no one that rode a motorcycle. The night we met, I showed up in my Air Force uniform on my bike :)
 
On a first date a few months ago I was "making out" with the girl in her car and she felt my 9mm and asked what it was. I showed her and she was visibly freaked out. She turned out to be quite the anti-gun type...however we've been together ever since and she's coming around...

;)
 
While I was a single Dad, before I found FirstInLine, I dated around some. Most of my dates were ladies I met at the skating rink as the kids and I were into competition.

One lady, on our third or fourth date, noticed my carry piece on my hip. She asked if I carried that when on the rink floor. I said no and she pulled hers out of her purse. The rest of the evening was a discussion on kid proofing, terminal ballistics and awareness. :D

Pops
 
You dont need to carry 24/7. just go to a good part of town. Im not paranoid and dont live for the what ifs of life.
 
You dont need to carry 24/7. just go to a good part of town. Im not paranoid and dont live for the what ifs of life.
Click to expand...

Can I borrow your crystal ball so I can tell where the "good parts of town" are?
 
Boy, howdy, if you don't live for the "what ifs," I guess you can cut the seatbelts out of your car, cancel the homeowners insurance and - oh, of course - leave your carry weapon at home.

As for dating, I'd hope you would have ample opportunity to discuss your beliefs on responsibility (including self-defense) before you need to discuss disrobing.

Unless you're living only for the "what ifs" :)
 
Well put, Mr. James...The night that I wrote this post, I was in a "good part of town" and she wanted some ice cream. It was late, and the only place to find it was good ol' Wal Mart, so we went there. When we park, a car with three guys up to no good pull up on her side of the car and roll down the window. Of course I hopped out and came around to her side of the car and opened the door, and the guys rolled up their window and didn't cause any trouble. But that's where the "What If"s started running through my head. They had plenty of opportunities to plan something while we were inside, if they wanted. So after picking up her ice cream, I left her at the check-out and pulled up the truck so that she would be out of the way, should any confrontation occur.

Has anyone ever had trouble carrying inside shopping centers?
 
If they're posted, I go elsewhere. Period. Of course, I'm probably the only woman in the country who despises shopping malls and goes to great lengths to avoid them.

Around here, there are plenty of non-enclosed shopping areas to pick from that don't prohibit concealed weapons, and that's just in our first year of officially-permitted carry. Wally World, Super Target, and a surprising number of "upscale" businesses like Wild Oats and non-franchise specialty stores all allow carry. I never have problems finding places to spend money.

I can't understand how people get hung up on SO's who have serious problems with their most important issues. I won't even consider going out with someone who takes exception to my guns, horses, dogs, or cars. I mostly end up meeting people through work, because as a government multi-agency network manager I'm expected to have no life. If a man can't figure out what he's dealing with from my framed gun-school diplomas and targets hung in my office, he's too stupid to bother with.
 
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