The reason that loose caps split more readily than tight caps is because loose caps allow some of the gas pressure to flow around the outside of the nipple, and rupture the unsupported cap. Tight caps keep all of the gas pressure directed down the flash hole, where it's supposed to go.
I am currently in percussion cap hell myself. I have a Remington .44 NMA that I replaced the nipples on, and it seems happiest with CCI #10's. I have most of a box of 1000 of them, too. But I just got another 1860 Army, and it will only accept Remington #11's (never tried Remington #10's, though). Unfortunately I only had part of a tin of Remington #11's, and went to three stores yesterday to try to get another tin for a range trip. No joy!
I have an extra set of nipples - I think they're the ones off of the Remington - and I'm thinking about chucking them in my drill press and using a Swiss file to dress the tube down so as to accept the CCI #10's, then swap those on to my 1860. Both pistols are Piettas, so they should fit. I don't know why, but it seems like the majority of on-line vendors handle the CCI caps, but the Remingtons are always out of stock. Eventually, I suppose, the answer is to have two sets of nipples for each revolver, one set up for CCI's and the other set up for Remingtons.
I hate to pay that Haz-Mat fee. One of the on-line vendors whose page I was on yesterday evening charges a $20.00 Haz-Mat fee PER TIN, not per shipment. I put 10 tins (1000 caps) in my shopping cart and the Haz-Mat fee was $200! I believe it was either Gander Mountain or Bass Pro Shops. Needless to say I didn't complete that order.