Can any of our Aussie friends confirm this?

B

bruels

New member
I highly doubt it is true, but someone asked and I said I would ask.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

MELBOURNE, Australia -- Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down - - and shot their testicles off!

"The old lady spent a week hunting those bums down and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way," said admiring Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp.

"Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be: 'Those
bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.' Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the seedy hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, policy
said.

"The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way he used to," Detective Delp told reporters. "Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through."

The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row.

"When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself 'cause I figured the police would go easy on
them," recalled the retired library worker. "And I wasn't scared of them, either
-- because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' it all my life."

So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos' car, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven
days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their
flophouse hotel.

"I know it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them," the ornery oldster recalled.

"So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door -- and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door,
I shot 'em got right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know. Then I went down to the police
station and turned myself in."

Now, baffled lawmen are tying to figure out how to deal with the vigilante granny. "What she did was wrong, but you can't really throw an 81-year-old woman in prison." Det. Delp said, "especially when all 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for sainthood."
 
All quite untrue I'm sorry to say.
Melbourne isn't even sophisticated enough to
have a Skid Row.At least it didn't have when
I was last there.Furthermore the article is
written in "American English" not "Australian English"--we don't use terms
such as "Flophouse"--but we are getting there.
 
And what publication, precisely, would this have been published in? Mayhaps we copied this one from a weekly that is commonly seen at the checkout stand at the local grocery store...?

Please always put in source cites, author, and dates, when quoting publications here.

Thanks!
:)
 
Have to agree with Blue Heeler on this one.

1. It would have made national headlines were it true

2. I can't imagine an 81-year-old being able to lay her hands on a 9-mm handgun here in Oz, let alone shooting it "all (her) life".

3. The language is all wrong. I can understand the reporter's wording (assuming this was from an American publication), but not the "quotes".

(a) "bums" is not a common usage here
(b) "I've got me a gun" is, surely, more an American construction?

Factually, 81-years-old or not, she'd be charged. The police wouldn't be "wondering what to do with her"!!

Interesting thought, though ;)

Bruce
 
Things that make you "hmmmmm" --

This is a newspaper that also has articles about the Ark of the Covenant being a "nuclear reactor", designed by extraterrestrials, that produced manna. (Didn't the [discredited] Erich von Daniken come up with this more than a decade ago?)

and

head lice in New Guinea that bore into your brain -- and the locals have taken to wearing metal helmets??????????

It has a photo of the Granny, complete with handgun. Sorry, but the police here would never have let her have it back for a photo session!!!!!!!!!!

B
 
Bruce -

Hadn't really looked into the web site. Guess they have the answer who was on the grassy knoll, too. Oh well, guess I'll just toss this one in the box with all the others I wish were true. BTW, how was vacation? (Or do you call it "holiday"?)

------------------
"...and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
Luke 22:36
"An armed society is a polite society."
Robert Heinlein

[This message has been edited by mk86fcc (edited February 07, 2000).]
 
I saw that posted at Worldnetdaily this morning. I thought it might be too good to be true. My question was where did she get the gun? I thought they had all been taken away.
 
mk86fcc:

The holiday was just great. Broome's a magical, tropical place. Everything is just so relaxed ("Broome time" they call it.) And Cable Beach is 25 miles of clean white sand and surf. (Mind you, they day we went swimming there, we found we were sharing the water with a 10-foot saltwater crocodile only a hundred yards away. Well, we were sharing the water for a little while ;)) The only problem was the heat -- it's the height of the Wet -- around 95-100 every day, with 80-90% humidity and thunderstorms.

Gopher:
Granny could have had a handgun if she was a current, practising pistol club member, which, at 81, is pretty unlikely.

Cheers
B
 
Bruce! You mean the Ark of the Covenant isn't a "nuclear reactor", designed by extraterrestrials??? Oh no! ;)

I wondered about the language myself. 'I've got me a gun ...' sounds like pretty ignorant, American slang. Australians on the other hand don't speak English at all, do they? ;) ;)
 
The "Rambo Granny" was linked to Weekly World News from World Net Daily. I just checked; it has been pulled from WND.

But we can wish it were true, can't we?

:), Art
 
Now I'm even MORE suss about the whole thing -- this is from www.weeklyworldnews.com (Search for "Melbourne, Australia" in the archives.)

See any similarities?????????????

Melbourne must be having a veritable rash of gun-totin' grannies!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>WOMAN BLOWS ROBBER'S GENITALS OFF!

'I've owned a pistol for 20 years -- and I'm damn good with it'

MELBOURNE, Australia -- Cocky ex-con Lonnie Selfridge figured he'd found easy pickings when he spotted aging travel agent Cassie Stoner alone in her office late one night. But when the knife-wielding creep sauntered in and demanded money, courageous Cassie, 80, calmly pulled a pistol -- and blew his penis and testicles to kingdom come!

The shell-shocked robber was rushed to a nearby hospital, where he was later reported in serious condition.

Courageous travel agent Cassie Stoner saved her own life with her quick response to the armed robber.

"It's starting to look like the guy is going to survive -- but the doctors say there wasn't enough left of his private parts to even try to save them," said Police Detective [sic -- we're more likely to say "Detective Sergeant" or "Detective Constable" etc.] Dennis Rector.

"He'll never be half the man he used to be, that's for sure. A little old lady with a very big gun saw to that."

The gutsy granny swung into action shortly after 10 o'clock on the night of November 18 when the unsuspecting Selfridge, 32, suddenly appeared in her office and waved a nine-inch hunting knife in her face.

"I was scared -- I won't say I wasn't," cantankerous Cassie later admitted. "But I've owned a pistol all my life, and I'm damned good with it, if I do say so myself.

"So when that punk came swaggering in here with that smirk on his face and those earrings dangling and told me to give him my hard-earned money, I knew in a split second what I had to do. I just reached in my drawer, took out my .45 and splattered his wedding tackle all over the office.

"I didn't want to kill him -- but I sure took that sneer off his face in a hurry."

And cops say pistol-packin' Cassie's fast action may well have saved her life.

"This man, Lonnie Selfridge, was recently paroled from prison after serving more than nine years for trying to slit an elderly woman's throat during a convenience store [sic - this is not an Australian term] robbery some time back," Detective Rector told reporters.

"He loves using that knife of his, loves seeing people bleed. And if Mrs. Stoner had hesitated just a moment too long when he asked for her money, I'm sure he'd have cut her to ribbons."

But the two-fisted widow says her brush with a bloodthirsty thug won't discourage her from remaining in her office alone until 11 p.m. five nights a week, as she has for the past 35 years.

"I do some of my best business at night," the ornery oldster insisted. "And besides, after the other night, I think any robber who values his family jewels will have enough sense to go away and leave old Cassie Stoner alone."[/quote]

Jeff:
Nah mate -- English is only for them wimpy Poms!! We speak dinky-di Strine here!! ;)

B
 
I can, however, confirm this one.

From Tuesday, 8 February 2000 issue of our newspaper, the West Australian.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>
Renegade ferret bites short arm of the law

BRISBANE

A ferret dubbed "Richard" after he bit a policeman's penis is now on death row in a wildlife hospital.

Richard's fate was placed in the hands of the court yesterday, but the animal is likely to face death by lethal injection in as little as two weeks.

The ferret -- a prohibited animal in Queensland -- was confiscated from his owner at Brisbane's Fortitude Valley markets on Saturday morning. But while it was being driven in a police car to the animal hospital at Moggill in Brisbane's west, it escaped from a cardboard box on the back seat, climbed on to a policeman's lap and sank its teeth into his groin area.

The bite did not cause serious injury but distracted the officer who almost caused an accident as he tried to restrain the animal, pulling the handbrake on and sending the car into a 180-degree spin on Milton Road -- a major arterial route out of the city.

The ferret ran amok in the car, defecating on the seat, but was eventually subdued with a baton by the frustrated young constable, who had offered to transport it to take a break from normal duties on the inner-city bicycle patrol.

The ferret faced the cameras yesterday as it crawled around the seized-wildlife enclosure at the Queensland Parks and Wildlife hospital where it is recovering on a diet of three baby rats and a bowl of dog food a day.

Named Richard by hospital staff, the animal's life in its comfy sand-floor cage may be short-lived unless saved by a ferret carer interstate.

Wildlife Hospital acting ranger-in-charge Kate Kraschnefski said the ferret bit the policeman because it was frightened.

A police spokeswoman said the officer returned to work yesterday but would not comment about the incident.[/quote]

Knowing the Brissie coppers, I'm surprised he didn't haul out his other gun and blow the hell out of the car -- while missing the ferret entirely. ;)

B
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top